Update to end all updates Part 5

Five? Really? My 20 minutes per day writing exercise has turned into multiple articles in one session over three hours. Ack! What the heck?

I considered, briefly, trying to break into life coaching. But can I coach someone else when I freakin need one myself? No lie, I’d hire a coach for 11K dollars in a heartbeat if I had it. But if I had $11K to spare, would I really need a coach? I mean, that’s a pretty big chunk of change to throw around. I’m sure the services are worth it, but if someone wanted to help people “break into the market,” would you really charge so much? I have doubts.

If it’s any consolation, I doubt the person I referred to above will ever read this. And no, it’s not Laura. Believe me, I’d give Laura a million dollars if I could for what she’s already done for me. The Six Habits has transformed my attitude, my outlook, and really my whole life.

Through no fault of The Six Habits, I’m still wrestling with my purpose. I know, in my heart of hearts, I was not meant to sit in a cubicle all night for 4 x 12 hour shifts. I know many, many people agree. Office life, just isn’t living. We are meant to do more than just survive.

If Cov-icky-boo-boo virus has taught me anything, it’s that I LOVE working from home. I want to work for myself. I AM my own best boss and my own employee of the year. That much I figured out.

I’m tired of putting money into the pockets of a big, heartless, mindless corporate entity that rarely gives anything back if that. I’m more than a job both financially and domestically. I AM a being of love and light. I deserve more. Way more than where and what I am now.

And it’s not to say I wouldn’t love to collaborate with someone or even work for the right person. I mean truthfully, if I was bringing joy to the world in some form and still covering the bills, I’d be there tomorrow. But I can’t up and quit my job.

Most LoA gurus don’t acknowledge or seem to grasp r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-y. Yeah, it’s old beliefs. I believe that since I brought the family into being, I believe I should take care of it. Again, it’s an old program. I didn’t know at the time that other options might have been more optimal for me. Heck, I hadn’t even heard of LoA 20 years ago.

Am I a first rate choice for NASA? No. Not unless they need someone to paint miniature figurines or make first contact with ETs. I have my talents, but what purpose does any of this serve?

So, the pesky question remains. Where do I belong? Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do? I have huge dreams. But not anywhere in the current paradigm. Definitely not the current program. (Don’t tell my wife…)

Supposedly, LoA would put me into the desired situation if/when my vibration matches the dream. I try not to dwell on the negatives. I keep putting the intention forward, and I pray that the Universe listens. When it truly conspires on our behalf, I’ll let you know. Maybe it will inspire someone.

Author: Jeff Craigmile

I'm a tabletop role-playing game writer and designer from Des Moines, Iowa always looking for more work. I'm the father of four boys and human to three cats.

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