Last Night Off til Wednesday


Good news today, sort of. The Saga D’Fridge is in a holding pattern, as expected. Works for me. Looks like we’re back to our original selection, probably sometime in September if all goes well. Patience.

My Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain got me an extra night off last week. The obvious drawback was a fun-filled night of holding down the couch. Then four nights off. I know. It must be rough?

Well, not really given the trade-off. 12 hour shifts, 4 nights in a row in a place that is the opposite of fulfilling. I’m grateful for providing a paycheck for my family, but it’s giving me some major pause in terms of Presence. (Capital “P” because it’s one of The Six Habits.)

I recently took a refresher course of sorts on The Six Habits. (Go check out the book if you get a chance. It’s very worthwhile.) I was reminded that during the last three months of virus/riot lockdown insanity that I may have gotten away from the good habits I worked so hard to develop the 90 Days prior.

Well, no more. As I have turned over a new leaf and started blogging almost daily again, I’m getting back into all Six Habits starting tonight. I know how to be grateful, kind to myself and others, present in the moment, good to myself energetically, how to accept myself, and how to set good intentions. Sometimes I’m less conscious of them, especially as of late. But with a little practice, they will go back to being ingrained as tightly as before.

Things were pretty quiet before the world shut down. I had time to myself to meditate, think, maybe do some writing. I looked forward to every day, even on some of the ones I worked. Then, back in March, everything came to a screaming halt.

No more walks around the lake. No more spontaneous walks around the neighborhood. No more spontaneous trips to the river. No sleeping quietly for at least four or five hours per day. No more meditating in the backyard. I can’t remember the last time the kids were really out of the house for very long. Needless to say, it changes a person.

Right now I’m having a hard time separating what I know in my head from what I know in my heart. I had long term goals a few months ago. I had goals in general a few months ago. Now all I feel like I know is my wife, kids, cats, and work. Which some would say is, “normal,” I suppose. But when have I ever gone out of my way to walk with the herd?

No lie, folks. I feel like “normal” is a slow, very painful trudge toward the grave. I yearn for way more than the cycle of work-eat-sleep-entertainment-rinse-repeat. I’ve never been 100% sure how to get the hell out of said cycle. But I am determined to break the chain somehow.

If this whole cov-rona-ick plandemic has taught me anything, it’s that I love working from home. I would love to be my own boss. I am affirming today again I am my own best boss and number one employee. The 64.5 cent question is: Doing what?

That’s what’s been holding me back. If anyone has any thoughts, I’m all ears. I just really don’t know the what. I’m a man of several talents. Not sure how to get paid for any of them, which has been my problem for the last 30+ years.

Anyway, thank you for indulging another rant. Tomorrow, we’ll discuss what my head and my heart know that really, truly throw a wrench into all the self development and Law of Attraction stuff I know.

Til then…

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