What follows is an email I was getting ready to send to someone whom I look up to a great deal. I don’t want to say who. But I really need to get this off my chest, and
it turns out hardly anyone reads my blog, anyway. Win-win, right?
I sincerely hope this finds you well. How have things been as of late? It’s been a whirlwind year, to be sure. I’m not even talking about the plague or the riots.
I’m writing to you because this is kind of a long story or at least longer than I could pop into a FB message. I’ll try to go easy on you since I know you’re busy. But, your advice is incredibly valuable and you’re one of my only real friends in the world, so…
I’ll preface all of this by saying there are matters that I’m sorting through and using the resources already available (Long Story.) But I have a couple of really deep, really tough questions I was hoping to get your opinion on.
My job is, realistically speaking, coming to a screeching halt in the next 3-9 months. I know, kinda vague, but that’s what we’re working with. And while that is/was one of those things I wanted to change anyway, there are a few major downsides to it.
First, we’re going to have bills piling up. My wife has given me that lecture twice already, and that was while everything was relatively stable. It might have been her way of preventing me from up-and-quitting my job. She’s a very protective Mom that way. (Sorry. Drama.) But obviously I have to have some kind of reasonable income coming in. (Did that sound weird?)
Second, and I was wrestling this before, is a bundle of fears all revolving around my age. You have said once or twice before that if I were to become a millionaire, I would have done it by now. (Please correct me if that’s wrong.) I mean, probably. But now would be a good time to reexamine that notion. I mean, isn’t that what all this LoA stuff is for?
No kidding, I feel old. I just turned 48 back in June. Shit. I’m too old to start over and anyone who interviews me is going to see my age and experience and assume the worst. Sad, but true commentary on our workforce.
And that’s another point that I’ve gone around and around with since before quarantine happened. What skills? What interests? Okay, the marketable ones? I just don’t know any more.
Speaking of age, I’m old. My back is fried. I’m not going back to scrubbing floors or throwing groceries. There’s no future there for me, anyway. If nothing else, I’m too nocturnal. And again, if LoA is a real thing? I should be working for myself, not just putting money in someone else’s pockets.
I’m just an old game geek. I have plenty of ideas and stories, sure. But how many other people are doing the same? Especially these days. And a lot of my other non-gamer ideas are even crazier and less realistic. UFOs/ETs along with spirituality are my other jam these days.
Go back to school? The degrees I have now aren’t doing squat. Like, I might even tell my own kids not to bother given I’ve seen high school dropouts making more than I do at my current job. I mean seriously. A diploma is over-priced receipt for a job half done nowadays.
On second and third and fourth thought, maybe I won’t send this. I don’t want to be that one whiny, clingy, toxic dude that I dread becoming. I’m just feeling a LOT vulnerable, squishy even, right at the moment. I know you’re riding the mega wave of success right now and I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer.
Thanks for your time. Hope to hear from you. Anything you want to contribute would be lovely. You know I think you’re the best.
In closing, in terms of my blog showing on LinkedIn- I don’t do temp agencies or whatever y’all call yourselves nowadays. We just don’t mix. And, if I had money to donate? Why would I be looking for work?
If you have a legit, real, interesting offer of something you think I might go for? Please by all means, my email is on my blog or just PM me any time.