Self Care

Today I chose to make self care a priority in my life. I didn’t sleep very well. I’ll confess there’s a bit of stress in my life around my job, try though I might not to admit it. And that leads to, (drum roll please-) a pain flare. So, upon waking up for my alarm today, I called in sick instead of going to work.

What I didn’t know, until I called work, was that I was not the only one. Apparently two out of the six of us had already called in. Can’t really say I blame them. In fact, I think there is zero blame here. I don’t know why they called in, but I can honestly say my body chose rest and self care.

Kindness is one of The Six Habits mentioned in the book by Laura DiBenedetto. Kindness to others, sure. But kindness to yourself is key. And, well, this was definitely a good cause for that tonight. When I wake up feeling like I’ve been beaten soundly with a sack of hammers one at a time, it’s time to take a sick day. It’s me saying I have to take my health seriously.

This was the case before we started working these crazy 12 hour shifts four nights in a row. It’s only exacerbated by the need to use FMLA because I’m out of sick time that much faster. It’s unfortunate for the company.

The sad part, on a tangent, is I’ve offered to work from home. But for whatever reason that’s not good enough for them. I have a desk job. If all I had to do was crawl across my basement (almost literally,) and log into my compy from home? My attendance would skyrocket! I’d be nigh onto employee of the month in terms of attendance. But, alas…

My health has to come first. Years ago, I would have been so hell-bent on taking care of my family, I would have tromped in there, pain be damned. Ironically, those were the days I really wrecked my health, especially my back, in my quest to become super dad/husband. No regrets, really. I’ve forgiven myself for all that happened and accepted everything happens for a reason. I chose to have that experience and I am grateful for it. (Yes, I said I’m grateful for the days I feel like I punched it out with Tyson, Ali, and Foreman in no particular order.)

And then for added strife, my supervisor more or less bit my face off when I called in. I empathize that he was having a rough day by his own admission, but still, he was pretty rude. I get kindness to others, acceptance, and mindful understanding. His comments and behaviour are on him. I’m never in charge of someone else’s feelings, only my own. And, I’m not letting it get to me per se, but there was definitely a time I would have. I’ve been processing it in my mind all night, but maybe not for the reason one might imagine.

I know I love me. As arrogant as it sounds, it’s true. I hope everyone says the same about themselves. I don’t expect everyone to understand that. And I feel somewhat bad that the guys had to work a shift with half the manpower. But again, not really and not for the reason one might imagine.

Here is my reason and affirmation: I AM Worthy of being treated well. Any person or company that would expect me to put my well-being aside so they can “optimize their profits” (or whatever other corporate gibberish they want to cook up,) really doesn’t deserve to have me. Again, not trying to be a jerk, just honest. It has taken me many, many years to learn this lesson.

Now, would I do this if I were working for myself? Absolutely! The major difference is, as my own boss, I’d totally let me work from home. Same with anyone working for me as long as they are able to work from home. And if not? Yes. Take care of yourself.

SO, in conclusion, I’m not intending to complain about my health or my job. I’m pretty well over both. I accept my strengths and limitations. But I am 100% ready to move forward with my life.

Intentions are being set. Vision boards created. And I am living the dream fulfilled in the now moment. 2020 is the year of change. This is going to be the year I started knocking things out of the park.

Namaste and publius.