The Great Unicorn Hunt!


Stick Around for the Big Announcement at the End!

Any semblance to unicorns real or imaginary is purely coincidental. No unicorns were harmed in the writing of this article.

Pretend for a moment that you’re really interested in unicorns. You know, looks like a horse with a horn in the middle of its forehead. You’ve always believed in unicorns, but you’ve never found any real proof that they exist. But in your heart of hearts, you know they’re real and they’re magical. (Still pretending.)

Now, our friend Charlie doesn’t believe in unicorns. In fact, he regularly makes fun of unicorns and us for liking unicorns. He thinks unicorns are stupid and anyone who likes unicorns is hopeful, desperate, or mentally ill.

We also have a friend named Alice. She refuses to believe anything that isn’t written in the Bible. She goes to church twice a week and personally greets everyone at the door. The knows the reverend’s schedule better than he does. Unicorns aren’t in the Bible so they can’t possibly exist as far as Alice is concerned.

One day I come to you and say, “Hey, a unicorn came to me in a dream and showed me the secret location of the Great Magical Unicorn Forest. It’s buried deep in the woods in Colorado and I’m putting together a group to go find it. Of course, being a fellow unicorn fanatic and true believer, you’re automatically coming with me. But what of our unicorn skeptics, Charlie and Alice?

Yes, Really! There is one here.

The unicorn skeptics are faced with a dilemma.

I’m a nice guy. I invite Charlie and Alice to come on the photo safari to the Great Magical Unicorn Forest. Both people are now in a major quandary over this. It’s all over social media. I promised my unicorn friends I wouldn’t reveal the location until my search party was ready to go. Unicorns are very shy and more easily spooked than horses, after all. I mean, they’ve been around for thousands of years and somehow remained the subject of myth and legend. Obviously we want to keep the actual location of the unicorns safe from poachers and other such interlopers.

Charlie absolutely believes I’m certifiable and tries to talk everyone out of coming with me on the unicorn safari. There is absolutely no way me and my rapidly forming unicorn fanatic following could possibly be going to find the real thing. Does Charlie come along for the ride just to prove there isn’t even a horse pasture out there, much less a unicorn? Does he go along for the ride just to poke fun at all of us, “hopeful, desperate and mentally ill” weirdos?

If Charlie is right, and I’m nuts, he gets to have bragging rights for life and I might even get locked up somewhere. At which point I probably deserve it for leading people astray on a wild unicorn safari. Then again, if there are unicorns…

Now Charlie has lost face in the worst possible way. If there are unicorns, what else is out there? Dragons, maybe? What about Pegasus? Years of hardened skepticism, snarky intellectual superiority, and all of that internet trolling goes right down the drain. If unicorns exist, what about aliens, or even God? Charlie isn’t along for the unicorn ride, but he’s watching for the video, audio, pictures, and eyewitness testimony from fifteen plus people afterward.

Unicorn conspiracy theory…

Poor Alice is also in a massive dilemma. She’s facing years of religious dogma and indoctrination being completely, horribly wrong. How could it be? How could the good reverend have ever gotten it wrong. Didn’t all the mythical critters die in the Great Flood in the Bible? There wasn’t room for the unicorns and the dragons on Noah’s Ark. How could there be a magical unicorn forest? This must be the work of the devil. Look, an evil cult even sprung up around the unicorn forest on social media.

Obviously an evil unicorn cult with all of those Instagram followers must be up to no good. We have to speak out against them in church on Sunday. “Unicorns and their long tails, beautiful manes, shiny horns and rainbow farts…they’re just, just… evil? Must be demons or something, right?”

So Alice isn’t coming. She trolls me and my unicorn friends online every chance she gets afterward. She’s on a crusade to get me banned from social media and quotes Bible verses at me every chance she gets. It won’t do any real harm, just not a lot of good, either.

Alice suffers from the same problem a lot of business and religious zealots share. If unicorns are real, what else is real? There’s no keeping the lid on the amount of publicity unicorns are going to receive once this goes public. There is no official government policy on unicorns, even though they have secretly known about the Unicorn Forest since 1947 when it was decided to keep it quiet. Obviously magic poses a massive problem for big business and religion alike. Now all of the stuff they’ve been telling us about “reality” and keeping us chained to their way of doing things, i.e. slowly, painfully and expensively, are going to fall apart.

So the skeptics stay home. The unbelievable photo safari to the Great Unicorn Forest commences. We all have an amazing time riding the unicorns. There’s lots of photo ops, a portable head x-ray to prove they’re legit, and video of famous journalists and fantasy authors riding the unicorns. Unicorn Disclosure happens. All of the skeptics on #unicorntwitter are forever stymied. Big business and organized religion struggle to recover and eventually fail. Hypothetically, my trip to the unicorn forest would turn the world on its ear, right?

Hope you enjoyed my hypothetical scenario, because it’s about to get REAL!
Only it’s not unicorns. It’s legit Higher consciousness Beings!!!

Añjali is now one step closer to her expedition to bring the Beings to the rest of the world. They’ve always been here! But now instead of hearing about them and all of the telepathic contact with a few true believers, we’re going to finally get to know real beings! I’m so excited for Añjali and whatever team we get to meet. This is so amazing!!!

Thank you if you made it this far. I appreciate you! Stay safe. See you again soon.

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