It’s the 19th already?!? Where does the time go?
This might be my last post on this blog. I haven’t fully decided yet. I guess I’ll let you know. It’s Freedom Day for me. It’s been four months since I had a “real” job.
God bless my wife for keeping the family going. Thank you, Heather, if you see this, for putting up with my antics for this long. You deserve a medal.
Time to get a little more vulnerable than usual. It’s been a rough month for me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Let me try to put this together in a way that will make sense. Please pardon my ramble in advance.
To the handful of people that read this, I thank you. You are truly appreciated.Me.
This blog has been a kind of learning lab for me. Figuring out what to do, what not to do, and what all is possible. It’s been a labor of love. But I’m here to tell ya, family- this last month has really made me question a good number of things in my life.
First setback of the month was:
Let’s start at the top with the Añjali debacle. She announced that the Mojave expedition is permanently on hold due to the health concerns of the man who owns the land that the tunnel to the underground base sits on. It was a huge disappointment for some and an even bigger I-told-ya-so for the asinine turds of #ufotwitter. I guess yay for them, but it’s a huge setback for some of us.
It’s big old double whammy for those of us in the UFO and Spiritual communities. I mean I’ve been called a “New Ager woo-woo freak” by the nuts-and-bolts guys before because I’m spiritually active and listen to channelers, CE-5, meditate regularly, and so on. I really think someone should unite the communities. Añjali could have been that link, but too many people were protecting their vested interests and cash cows to listen. So, any credibility some of us freaks had in the UFO world is more disrupted than ever. ETs could land on my front lawn complete with video and #ufotwitter would say it was fake.
Añjali wasn’t necessarily the great white hope. We knew there was a possibility that she could be involved in a psyop to discredit, dismantle, and disrupt both the Ufology and spiritual communities. Personally, I don’t think she is, but I acknowledge that it’s possible. Then again, Lue Elizondo could be doing the same thing and there are plenty of people eating right out of his proverbial hands, too. I’ve said on Twitter and elsewhere that Añjali should have gone to the experiencer/contactee or spiritual channeling communities with her information instead of UFO (a$$holes) Twitter. But hey, like so many others, she shut me down and refuses to answer my Direct Messages. Again, the skeptic in me sees a false flag operation, but who knows…
It was NaNoWriMo Month again, too.
I’m unemployed. Technically every month could/should be NaNoWriMo. Family support is important if you intend to bang out an entire book in one month. I have five other people and three cats that all need love and attention on any given day so it just didn’t come together. I may actually start a novel yet this month, but there’s no pressure, no writing buddies, or any of the usual NaNo flair. It’ll be okay.
Found me a new community.
My English teachers and editors would be losing their ever loving minds over that header, but whatever. I have gone back into my #ttrpg roots, and that may be what this blog changes over to soon. Again, I guess we’ll see. I kinda like having a place for personal shares, but I have only this humble paid-for space and I would really love the Premium package for my gaming ventures. TTRPG stands for TableTop RolePlaying Games, for those who don’t know.
So, yeah, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a huge Dungeons and Dragons fan and have been pretty much my whole life. I started gaming back in the early 1980’s and have been at it for almost 40 years. But it’s always been a hobby and a writing venture. I have yet to sell anything in the industry. I’ve worked in game stores. I’ve sold a lot of games over the years. But, always a bridesmaid, so to speak.
That brings us to the next point.
I’ve had to spend lots of meaningful time with my friends at Iowa Workforce Development this month to ensure my unemployment check didn’t get cut off completely. I’ve gotten to attend all kinds of fun meetings to make sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I guess that’s what they get paid the big bucks for, but at the same time, they’re not actually doing anything for me, aside from my unemployment check.
I also got an anonymous message from a former co-worker with a juicy tidbit that confirmed some of my suspicions. I wish I could say a LOT more without jeopardizing my severance and NDAs, but I can’t. Somebody should, though. To quote the Matrix, Cypher told Morpheus “If you’d told us the truth, we would’ve told you to shove that red pill right up your ass.” That’s true of my severance package, but my family needed the money, so it’s a tough choice and I ultimately made the right decision.
That said, my job search has thus far been a running joke with me. Honestly, if I never work a “real job” again, it’ll be too soon. I like being my own boss, setting my own hours, and giving myself a pat on the back for being my employee of the month. Unfortunately, IWD has a hard time seeing this. They have an obvious agenda. I’m not part of that equation.
They told us in one of their little “classes” that they want people to fill what they refer to as the “middle skills” roles. In other words, they want people who have completed high school, but haven’t been to college. They want dental hygienists, welders, truck drivers and nurses. Do I fit that description? Hell no! Do I want to take a pay cut and do something I’m going to be absolutely miserable doing? F*ck No!!! I will literally embrace homelessness for myself (and only myself) before I will ever go back to the 9-5 grind doing something just for the sake of doing it.
And they keep trying to tell us “Oh, it’s so meaningful. So many people find their life purpose doing this…” No. No, people really don’t find it meaningful or fulfilling. In fact, it makes me sick to my stomach to hear the IWD people rattle on about fulfilling it is to sleep, eat, work, repeat and how everything else is just a fun hobby. Again, I get that it’s what they’re paid to do, but it’s not an enlightened, spiritually aware thing to do.
My whole resume is disgustingly full of the kinds of jobs they’re talking about. No offense to anyone, but I think I’d rather die than go back to just about any of those jobs. The pay is mediocre. The hours are long and unfulfilling. There is no appreciation from management most of the time. The benefits are crappy. Worst of all, my health will not support that kind of work ever again in an office or any other environment.
Lol! This is getting long. To be continued…