Freedom Day! 9 Month Edition.

I started thinking today. What am I dreaming about now? What is my intention? What do I want to manifest next? I realized I literally don’t have an answer yet.


People have conceived and had babies in the amount of time I’ve been out of work.

Personal share, of course. I was canned on July 19th, 2021. I can’t say who or why, only that it happened. Gotta love NDAs and Severance agreements. It’s been a blessing with a few bumps in the road.

I have applied for numerous jobs and been shot down cold. No interviews. Not even an email thanking me for applying in many cases. I finally stopped applying. I don’t miss it for one second.

Unemployment ran dry. Disability may or may not ever happen. I’m just kinda floating right now. My wife’s income takes care of the bills. Hooray for that. The kids are taken care-of at least.

I tried my hand at freelance writing. All it did was ramp up my anxiety and depression more until I was barely functioning. It wasn’t due to any pressure from the publisher. I just can’t seem to reach a point where criticism, especially of something I hold very dear (writing) is going to be okay.

Here’s the part where I’m supposed to say something super positive, right?

Yeah… screw that noise.

Spiritually, it’s been a learning experience. I freely admit I manifested this kinda weird state of affairs into my own life to learn and grow from it. Hindsight being what it is and all, I guess it’s teaching me something.

I was put here to experience life in my physical form. Okay. I get that part.

We bring about what we put into intention and emotion. I get that, sorta. Somewhere along the way I maybe fouled up on that one. My intention was always freedom. (Loving my freedom from the grind, btw.) My emotions may have been skewed a few times, which I believe has led the Universe to test me even more. Am I really bound for greatness?

New day, new intentions.

I started thinking today. What am I dreaming about now? What is my intention? What do I want to manifest next? I realized I literally don’t have an answer yet.

I know what I’d like to see, obviously, in terms of my family’s well being. But for myself? That’s a bit tougher. I’ve been kind of circling the drain, as a friend pointed out a couple of months ago.

Since then I’ve been doing a little better mentally, I guess. I’ve had to come to terms with where I’m at in life and where I’m headed. Accepting where I am now and the way things are has been a big pill to swallow.

My bags were pretty much all packed when…

2020 Spring Break lasted most of a year. The Icky Cough-Coughs happened and shut the whole planet down. It’s kinda hard to abandon ship in the middle of a pandemic. Although much like my untimely firing, it has turned out to be more a blessing than a curse.

I just need to unpack and move back into my man cave. Spring cleaning this year is going to be arduous at best. It will be sort of nice to have everything back out where I can find it readily again, though. I’m staying for the long term now.

Time to start dreaming again.

You always hear stories in Law of Attraction circles about someone who quit their job, dropped out of mainstream society, started a YouTube channel and is now a millionaire. All through the “magic” of LoA manifestation. Another one of my favorites wrote a bestseller, started his own company and is now a millionaire. In the end, I think that’s kind of my dream, too.

I hear you’re never too old, stupid, or inept to start fresh on the road to a million dollars. There’s only one slight catch that’s been bugging me from Day ONE of my manifestation journey- What in the Actual HELL am I supposed to sell, produce, or show that’s going to make me money? No one ever has an answer.

Honest disclosure- I’m not making a single dime off of this website currently.

I love writing. But I’m doing it all for me. It’s keeping me out of the nut farm most days. It’s not concrete enough for my wife, and as such there might be some pretty ugly changes on the horizon. I dunno.

So, the first dream, and maybe all there is, I just want to write. I want to share my kooky ideas about role playing games, UFOs, ETs, Spirituality, LoA, and a lot of other stuff to a willing and kind audience.

I intend to manifest enough to keep the site up, make my wife happy, help the kids out, and maybe buy a few books to help my fellow creators out. It’s not a huge financial goal, but it’s a plausible start.

In the end, it’s all about happiness. If a couple of articles per day keeps me going through the other stuff, cool. That’s what I intend to do. If one of my writing projects stumbles into a paid product, all the better.

Thank you for being here. I love you and appreciate you as always. Have a great weekend.

Author: Jeff Craigmile

I'm a tabletop role-playing game writer and designer from Des Moines, Iowa always looking for more work. I'm the father of four boys and human to three cats.

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