d12 Modern Horror Tables.

7. An orange tabby cat, alive, unharmed, healthy. The box is clean and dry on the inside. No return address. No note. Meow.


What’s in the box?

Content Warning: Descriptions of gore. May be traumatic for some readers.

(Today’s random d12 table was suggested by @FreighterOne on Twitter.)

A strange box arrives addressed to one of the characters. What’s inside? Roll 1d12 and consult the table below.

  1. A human head, wrapped in plastic wrap. It’s been in there a while judging by the smell. No note or anything accompanying it.
  2. Completely full of ribbon candy, cinnamon disks, butterscotch lozenges, lemon drops, and other hard candies. A simple handwritten note says, “Enjoy. Don’t get a tummy ache. Watch out for tooth decay.” No signature or return address.
  3. A Blue Yeti Microphone. The address on the box is the character’s name and proper address. The note inside says the mic is a gift to “Night Whispers ASMR,” a popular YouTuber that shares the same real life name as the character. Only when they look on YouTube, there is no such channel.
  4. A 9″x13″x3″ box full of dead bugs. No return address. The note inside is an ad clipped from the newspaper that says, “I baked you a cake.”
  5. A large box full of used cat litter. The return address is Mr Fluffles, Eerie Ohio. The note inside is simply a paw print on a piece of plain white paper.
  6. A small box containing 16 rusty, straight square nails. The return address simply says, “Tombstone.” The note inside the box says, “For your coffin.”
  7. A White Bunny Rabbit- alive, unharmed, healthy. The box is clean and dry on the inside. No return address. No note. Seems unusually observant.
  8. The outside of the box is marked with biohazard warnings. If anyone foolishly opens the box, there is a broken glass container inside. The letter on the inside says, “If this box arrives broken or damaged, go to the nearest hospital immediately. This box contains a parasitic spider carrying a highly contagious necrotic plague. If still healthy after three days, you may leave quarantine. Please return this package to Site 14 as soon as possible.” The return address simply reads “SCP Foundation Site 33.”
  9. A large box containing a bottle of fine wine and a cake that says, “Happy New Year 1953.” The address is correct, but the name is incorrect. The return address is Ferdinand P. Gently, 666 N. Pine Blvd. Eerie, Idaho. Further research indicates Ferdinand passed away from natural causes in 1972. The cake is fresh and edible. (Chocolate slab cake. Quite delicious.) The wine is outstanding, maybe 100 years ole?
  10. Old Christmas ornaments and a string of lights. Return address is S. Klaus. 001 Factory Lane, North Pole. The note inside simply says, “Merry Christmas.”
  11. It contains 4 rings, a dull hunting knife, an old .38 revolver and a severed human hand that matches the character’s DNA. The note inside says, “I told you you’d put an eye out with that thing.” The character’s name and address are also listed as the return address.
  12. What appears to be a small, mummified extraterrestrial being in a strange metal sarcophagus. No note. No return address.

Random messages from beyond the grave.

Roll a d12 and consult the table below for messages caught on EVP or just heard around paranormal activity (“haunted” houses/buildings/etc.)

  1. “Hitler won World War Two.”
  2. “Leave here. Now. Go away.”
  3. “The water is too hot. Turn the faucet off.”
  4. “Where are we?”
  5. “This is Ashtar of the Galactic Command. Stay tuned for and important message.” (Nothing discernable follows.)
  6. “We’re all fine here. How are you?”
  7. “The horses are in the paddock.”
  8. “Look in the old rectory.”
  9. “Grandma. I can’t find Grandma. Where’s my grandma?”
  10. “That darn cat.”
  11. “The Bible was right about it.”
  12. “Come with us. Join us. It’s fun.”

Author: Jeff Craigmile

I'm a tabletop role-playing game writer and designer from Des Moines, Iowa. I'm the father of four boys and human to three cats.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: