Last Night Off til Wednesday

Good news today, sort of. The Saga D’Fridge is in a holding pattern, as expected. Works for me. Looks like we’re back to our original selection, probably sometime in September if all goes well. Patience.

My Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain got me an extra night off last week. The obvious drawback was a fun-filled night of holding down the couch. Then four nights off. I know. It must be rough?

Well, not really given the trade-off. 12 hour shifts, 4 nights in a row in a place that is the opposite of fulfilling. I’m grateful for providing a paycheck for my family, but it’s giving me some major pause in terms of Presence. (Capital “P” because it’s one of The Six Habits.)

I recently took a refresher course of sorts on The Six Habits. (Go check out the book if you get a chance. It’s very worthwhile.) I was reminded that during the last three months of virus/riot lockdown insanity that I may have gotten away from the good habits I worked so hard to develop the 90 Days prior.

Well, no more. As I have turned over a new leaf and started blogging almost daily again, I’m getting back into all Six Habits starting tonight. I know how to be grateful, kind to myself and others, present in the moment, good to myself energetically, how to accept myself, and how to set good intentions. Sometimes I’m less conscious of them, especially as of late. But with a little practice, they will go back to being ingrained as tightly as before.

Things were pretty quiet before the world shut down. I had time to myself to meditate, think, maybe do some writing. I looked forward to every day, even on some of the ones I worked. Then, back in March, everything came to a screaming halt.

No more walks around the lake. No more spontaneous walks around the neighborhood. No more spontaneous trips to the river. No sleeping quietly for at least four or five hours per day. No more meditating in the backyard. I can’t remember the last time the kids were really out of the house for very long. Needless to say, it changes a person.

Right now I’m having a hard time separating what I know in my head from what I know in my heart. I had long term goals a few months ago. I had goals in general a few months ago. Now all I feel like I know is my wife, kids, cats, and work. Which some would say is, “normal,” I suppose. But when have I ever gone out of my way to walk with the herd?

No lie, folks. I feel like “normal” is a slow, very painful trudge toward the grave. I yearn for way more than the cycle of work-eat-sleep-entertainment-rinse-repeat. I’ve never been 100% sure how to get the hell out of said cycle. But I am determined to break the chain somehow.

If this whole cov-rona-ick plandemic has taught me anything, it’s that I love working from home. I would love to be my own boss. I am affirming today again I am my own best boss and number one employee. The 64.5 cent question is: Doing what?

That’s what’s been holding me back. If anyone has any thoughts, I’m all ears. I just really don’t know the what. I’m a man of several talents. Not sure how to get paid for any of them, which has been my problem for the last 30+ years.

Anyway, thank you for indulging another rant. Tomorrow, we’ll discuss what my head and my heart know that really, truly throw a wrench into all the self development and Law of Attraction stuff I know.

Til then…

Wife V Fridge Round 2

Good news! I am grateful my wife is still a free citizen. I am grateful we still have a new fridge coming- eventually. I’m grateful the old fridge is still alive and kickin. I’ll take what I get.

My wife went to the store where we purchased our new refrigerator and renegotiated a new model, newer date, and… they’re calling us to make sure we can get it. Otherwise, it might be middle of September or later- much, much later. But we’ll take it. #firstworldproblems. At least we’re getting there.

She went in mad. She’s still pretty mad, I think. Everyone is blaming Cov-icky-boo-boo-ronavirus for all the messed up delays. Except it’s not just the damn plague.

It’s people underselling one another. It’s inaccurate inventory numbers. It’s scratch-n-dent crap getting passed off as fully functional. It’s people so desperate for commission, they’ll say literally anything. It’s manufacturing being shut down and on an entirely on another continent. It’s about big corporate appliance retailers and their screwed up way of doing business.

Let’s rewind about 70 years or so. There’s a building, just down the street from here who sold furniture and rent-to-own appliances. If the owner didn’t have it on hand, he didn’t sell it. If he could get it in, he’d order it and give you a call when it came in. And the best part- the manufacturer was still in the same country as the store.

So was it any surprise when the entire world up and shut down because of Covirona things got totally fouled up? And ‘they’ are actually pushing us closer to nothing but big box retailers willing to stab each other in the back for a bigger commission, with appliances built overseas. This isn’t where I get all teary-eyed and wave the flag.

Cash? Going away. Small retailers? Dying fast. Local manufacturers? A thing of our distant past. Neighborhood stores owned by local people? You guessed it. Dropping like flies. Welcome to what some of us call, “The Plandemic.” And it’s only going to get hairier as it goes, family.

There are a lot of beautiful, kind, gentle people out of a job because of this mess. And more unemployment on the way. My job is looking pretty grim right now. I can see it coming. Of course the bosses are denying it fervently, but I’ve been in this situation before. My Spidey Senses are going bonkers more every day. For about 50 years, automation has been displacing good people. The world shutting down due to sick humans is only encouraging more machine interface.

So far, patience, perseverance, empathy and peace are winning the day. I’m grateful just for being here. I’m grateful my family is healthy. I’m grateful that for now, I still have a job that pays okay. But, by God, as my dear Dad used to say, By God, things are going to get better. The world does not have to be a mess. I CHOOSE BETTER!

This all goes well beyond a fridge or even a gallon of milk in it. It goes beyond one family in Iowa. ALL of us are living not in a “new (gag) normal.” We are living in a new paradigm. We need to adapt, change and band together in communities. Not just local neighborhoods. Not just like-minded folk. We need to get our act together as a global community for economic and social change. (Nothing political.)

End Rant. For now. I guess. Because this is running long.

So, we get Round 3 of Wife Vs Large Appliance Retailer. More as it develops.

Crisis D’Fridge

So, our 25 year old fridge here at Casa De Craigmile is quite literally being held together with bubble gum, twine and the handyman’s secret weapon, duct tape. (Thank you Red Green.) To make things more entertaining, we have a very awkward small-ish space to put it, because the previous occupants of the house had few worries about it and built the kitchen cabinets around the fridge. We have a family of six, so we need every inch.

My loving wife did a ton of online research and narrowed it down to one place that might have actually had one on hand. So, my wife and I packed the kids into the van and went to (Large Appliance Retailer) with hopes a newer refrigerator to replace the old clunker.

Now, this might sound like a “poor me” story, but it really isn’t. And, truly I believe this is a test from the Universe. I think the happy ending is coming. We’ll see.

The first salesman we talked to at (Large Appliance Retailer) said the Samsung models were all back-ordered to Hell and gone. I’m thinking, okay I like LG. That’s cool. GE makes some nice stuff. But with all of our size requirements and taste in large appliances we found a Samsung that we really, really liked.

Us: Are you sure, absolutely sure you can get it?

Salesman Number TWO: Oh yeah, no problem.

Us: Are you sure? The other guy said they were massively back-ordered due to Covid.

Salesman Two: Yeah there’s one up in our warehouse up in Minneapolis.

Us: Okay, cool.

Me to Salesman Number One: (Right before corralling the kids out to the van.) Are you sure it’s not on back-order?

Salesman Number One: (Looking at Salesman Number Two for approval.) Oh, yeah. It’s fine. We’ll get it.

Me: (Shrug.) Okay.

My wife hashed out all the fine details for our shiny new metal $2,300 dollar Samsung Model XX Bad Ass Refrigerator complete with water dispenser, ice cube maker, and WiFi connection. (Because I guess I need to check my phone to see if the temperature of my Brussels sprouts are okay?) And it was supposed to be here and all nice and hooked up on Friday, Aug 7. This was last week. July 27th or thereabout.

The next day my wife got a text message that our order had been delayed. Panic ensued. Phone calls were made. We found out it was just a bag of parts for the water hookup. No big deal. Game on for the 7th, Right?

We cleaned all around the fridge. We’ve got everything we can think of cooked up, thrown out, cleaned up, etc in preparation for Friday morning. (Today being the 5th. My wife is super worried about this whole thing coming together.) And we get a new voice mail automated message. “Please re-schedule your installation. Your refrigerator was delayed.”

So, my loving and now angry wife was then on the phone for over an hour trying to get a live human being to explain what the actual hell was going on with the new fridge. Turns out they didn’t have one in the warehouse in Minneapolis as promised and nearest they can tell, it’s on a boat headed here from Korea, assuming there are no delays from Covid. The new estimated arrival time is (ha ha ha) September 17. Assuming everything goes well.

I say the old one still runs, duct tape and all. Let’s wait it out. Yes, it’s a little inconvenient with the shelf that broke which started this whole comedy of errors. Meh. We cut back on groceries a little. Maybe cook more out of the pantry and less out of the fridge. No big.

The old me would have wanted a head on a pike and a quart of blood from the sales staff at (Large Appliance Retailer.) The new, more patient, more understanding, more empathetic me is willing to wait this out. I really believe it’s a test of patience. LoA would indicate if there is resistance, Source has something bigger and better in mind, right?

<Gulp.> My wife is going to said appliance store tomorrow. I fully expect to hear, “East Side!” followed by a floor model fridge being crammed uncomfortably down someone’s throat or something equally angry. The people at Arby’s probably still have flashbacks from that ugly Cherry Turnover incident a few years ago.

We figure either A: they never had the thing in the warehouse in the first place and yay commission. Or B: This is a massive circus of errors between here and the warehouse or the warehouse and Korea. My whole point is not to pull out the blamethrowers and start yelling until we have more facts. Even then, what good is it going to do? We need a fridge. Yelling at some poor unsuspecting factory guy in Korea is not going to get it here any faster.

I’d like to think that since gaining a small amount of spiritual enlightenment and all of the self development work from The Six Habits by Laura DiBenedetto that maybe I have the patience, understanding, presence and mindfulness not to completely get triggered and go apesh*t on someone like I used to. Guess we’ll find out. Really all I want to do is make sure the kids have cold milk to drink. Which, so far we do.

More news as it develops on “Fridge Debacle 2020.”

New Daily Intention

I hereby affirm and intend to post at least one article to my blog every day. That’s the plan, anyway. We’ll see how it goes.

One of the absolutely best pieces of advice I have every received was from Prof Kathleen Richardson at Drake University. It was very simple. Write for 20 minutes every day. No matter how basic or insignificant it might seem,

That can mean journaling, an actual report, paper or document, or just journaling. But the limit is 20 minutes, no interruptions. No distractions. Even if it’s just a brain dump. I’m going to apply that to this blog.

Which is not to say I’m planning to spout gibberish or put out articles that make less sense than normal. It’s about developing a habit of presence. (Thank you @LauraDiBenedetto ) And truly, honestly I believe it is necessary if I wish to grow as a person and possibly build a professional practice.

Those who know me know I’m big on Law of Attraction. You see a lot of LoA stuff elsewhere on my page. New habit, new vibration, and a new pattern is needed. Which is far better than eat, sleep, work, kids, repeat ad nauseum.

Someone very wise once asked me what I want from LoA. It’s simple, really. I gave the exact wrong answer. I said, “money.” And then I was, uh, we’ll say redirected? Money isn’t a value. Try again.

Hmm… Why do I want money? (Which I still do, but that’s another conversation.) Well, it’s easy. I want a feeling of fiscal safety and security. Are you sure? Well…

Yes. Safety.

Okay, then what. You’ve got safety. Now what?

Fun. I mean, thinking back on it, I should have said that in the first place.

Okay, so why not just focus on the JOY and let the other stuff fill in its own blanks behind it?

That was like the “Aha” moment some people describe in spiritual circles. Of course she was right. And that’s sort of where I am now.

Truth be told, I’m probably still overthinking it. Still in old beliefs. Still trying too hard. Still struggling. But, the first step is recognizing it. Heh heh. Maybe I’m onto something.

Have a beautiful now moment. More later.

They’re Here and They’re Watching

In my prior article, I mentioned beings from “out there” watching all of us beings here on Earth. I should clarify. In the case of extradimensional beings, they’re already here in many cases. We can’t see them or touch them, but their reality overlaps with our own. If we’re talking about extraterrestrial beings, they have to reach Earth. Our best minds have hypothesized they are crossing to Earth through dimensional barriers.

What’s an “alien?” We don’t use that term for a reason. The Earth is actually a crowded place if you could see it. Remember, humans only see a small fraction of the visible spectrum. Beings probably look into our dimension and see us as clueless aliens because we’re in the middle of their living room and we don’t know it.

So, if God/Source/Universe is watching, presumably through the eyes of these other beings (ETs/Angels/ghosts, etc.) What do they see? Realizing that they are likely far, far more advanced in intelligence, consciousness, and socially, they’re probably shaking their heads for the most part.

Earth 2020 has to be the highest rated reality show in the history of existence. Well, as far as we know, but we can get into Earth history and time travel elsewhere. On one hand it’s high comedy and on the other, it’s deplorable tragedy.

Somewhere in all of this, the US government is hinting around about UFO/ET Disclosure. They’ve thrown out a few breadcrumbs in the form of the Nimitz Encounter and the Gimble video. Oh, maybe we have recovered “alien” craft. Maybe we have a few ETs stashed somewhere. President Trump has alluded to possibly giving up the goods.

I could go all day on this topic and why it’s so ridiculous. We already KNOW these beings are here. We have so much crash retrieval evidence and archaeological or historical evidence. The United States is behind the rest of the world in acknowledging these beings.

Back in my day, you were a nerd if you played Dungeons & Dragons and read comic books. The same can be said of UFOlogy. Now? It’s like you’re an outcast if you’re not into these things. Maybe I’m over-generalizing a little. But, it’s rapidly becoming mainstream again.

I’ll get into theirs versus ours in terms of unidentified craft at another time. but there are plenty of non-terrestrial vehicles spinning around the Earth. And those are just the ones we can occasionally catch a glimpse of. Think about the hundreds of orbs, craft, beings, and drones that are hovering around, observing humans right now as we speak. It’s staggering!

Next time we’ll get into the why of it as well. We’re actually not that boring as a civilization. Until then, stay safe and keep an eye on the skies! (And everywhere else.)

Dark Stuff

I took a break from social media recently. I didn’t look at Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn. Why? Well, part of being Awakened, (or “woke” as the kids say,} is dealing with your shadow and at the same time you become aware of some really dark stuff.

I believe in Kindness and Goodness. I’m aware that others are part of a greater consciousness, a greater whole. I don’t consider myself an empath, but I’m also not totally oblivious to the feelings of others. And some of what I see in the world, we NEED LOVE and PEACE. The question is always, “How?”

I know about the Illuminati. In my old Blogspot posts, I dissed them a lot. Since, I have learned about things that go way beyond just control of finance and media. I’ve learned about Satanic Cannibal Pedophile cults. And as a parent and a fairly sensitive person, I absolutely revile this notion.

I can only forgive and forget so much. And I’m telling you, family of light, this is the cutting edge of horrible. And when I pop onto social media and a lot of my very enlightened friends are all talking about Wayfair and Epstein? Yeah. Time to take a break.

I like videos of fluffy kittens and huskies. I love bunny rabbit videos. Heck, I will scroll though pics of gardens and trail hike videos. Yay nature/

So how the actual f*ck do some of these really unspeakable awful things happen? Crimes against humanity can not and should not be allowed to stand. Now, I won’t advocate violence against these “people.” (And believe me when I say I’d love to hunt these individuals down with enough firepower to commit a war crime.)

But, family, here’s the truth: God put this in our path, too. There will be a reckoning very soon. It’s a triggering event, to be certain. The evil will be exposed. The innocent will be saved and protected. There will be justice. The days of these political figures, musicians, Hollywood and news media are coming. It might be scary and shocking, but we’re going to get through this storm as well.

I won’t spiritually bypass this or ignore it. But I absolutely refuse to let it drag my energy down. I refuse to dwell on the nasty stuff out there. Sure, I could worry incessantly, freak out, demand justice, load up the gun, or talk about it at every opportunity. But what good does it do?

Knowledge of the darkness is there. I am returning to the I AM. And I have my own shadow, nothing overly serious compared to eating people, but it still needs to be taken care-of. Meanwhile, I have compassion and love in my heart for those who have passed and their innocent families. Hug my own kids a lot tighter. Yeah.

Go forth in love and light. Forgiveness is there for those who need it. We’ve got other things on our global plate than just Pizzagate. We have a plague and race riots to consider. There is so much healing we need to do and peace to make.

And next on our collective plate is the ET connection to literally ALL of this. Beings not even of the Earth are watching all the time… more next time.

Time to Kick Butt and Take Names!

I’ve been watching a certain YouTuber that I have had some issues with in the past. We don’t always agree. But lately, I’ve felt like I need to shake things up. It’s easy, so very easy to get complacent in this topsy turvy lockdown riot whackadoo world.

I’m somewhat guilty of sitting back. Maybe for too long. So, I’m going to offload my brain and see what happens for a few minutes. Some of this will have a positive, happy ending, some might not…

Spiritual Awakening was hard. And that was a couple of years ago. That’s not by accident. I think I was meant to awaken just before the greater whole. It’s easier for me to relate. We can all learn together, right?

No lie, I’m STILL struggling with the whole life purpose thing. I love what I’ve learned from Laura DiBenedetto. She’s amazing. The Six Habits really did change my life for the better. But I still wonder every day. Why am I here?

I’m not really afraid of death or much of anything else. I’ll stare down a Draco Reptilian and laugh. I mean, what’s he really going to do to me? The only thing that concerns me, and I don’t say “fear,” but what kind of legacy am I leaving?

Ya know? I want to be remembered for something, heck, anything. (I have a new rpg blog, as a side note.) But more importantly, I want someone to notice I did more than take up space. And I’m 48.

Now, the negative. I really, really hate my job. On so many levels, I don’t belong in a mc-corporate cubicle, putting money in everyone’s pockets but my own. I should be my own boss. I so strongly desire to be my own boss. Yeah, it’s egoic, but when you can feel it in your essence, it’s tough to deny.

But the hard part is when I have a family to feed, bills to pay, cats to obey unquestioningly (or so they think.) So, I can’t just drop everything and quit my job. Responsibility, right?

Let’s talk Law of Attraction for a minute. Oh noes, I had negative thoughts. Are my dreams coming crashing down around me or just moving slower toward me now? Hmm. Not sure about that. My vibe will bounce back. Sometimes just getting junk off my chest helps.

So does meditation. So do things I really enjoy. Sleep helps, when possible.

So, back to my title. I’m going to start publishing very regularly. possibly daily. I want to seriously get the word out there.

You’re not alone. You’re a being of love and light. Yes, there’s some disturbing stuff out there, but never fear. Never despair. We are all just hear to walk one another home.

Game On!

I’m trying this out. I’ve been a GM/Guide/DM/Judge for over 35 years. That long? Yikes! But I’ve been collecting, loving, writing, running, playing, eating, sleeping, drinking, and dreaming tabletop rpgs for many, many years.

So, I think I’m overdue to write about my gaming thoughts and gaming ideas. And by no means am I an absolute authority on all things gaming. Plenty of people might disagree. I’m not well-published yet, but I’ve been published. It will happen.

I took some serious time out. I have kids, wife, and three cats. There are some serious time issues there. Little League, swim meets, oh, and work… Who has time to play an rpg for 6 hours per night once per week?

So, old gamer guy moment. RPG’s are/were/ALWAYS will be my life! Never, ever give up on your dreams. I might not be Gary Gygax, but I’m going to be known. Keep watching.

We’re going to roll some dice and blow stuff up. Keep watching! Huzzah!

Where Attention Goes, ENERGY Flows.

Where your focus is, energy builds.

Where attention goes, ENERGY flows. I’m not sure who said it first, but it is so very correct.

Family, friends, fellow lightworkers, starseeds, others… You are probably aware of this nasty virus going around. The mainstream mass media is trying its best to whip everyone up into a frenzy of fear. “They,” the Illuminati, the reptilians and other negative entities want you to be afraid.

Please do yourself a huge favor- If the news, social media or any other media is bothering you, just turn it off. Walk away. Don’t tune to that channel. Turn off that feed. Put your phone down for a day. 

I’m not saying ignore the virus. Be sensible. Take care of yourself like you would any other day. Eat well, exercise, sleep, hydrate, eat your vitamins and say your prayers. Whatever you would do normally.

But imagine, instead of all of this focused attention went toward Kindness, Goodness, Presence, Awareness? What if instead of being afraid, we focus on love, understanding, mindfulness, and joy? Check out

We’re all going to get through this together, family. We’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna be great. Stand together in spirit. Stay in touch with one another. And please, lift one another up whenever possible. And please, please, be safe.

What lights me up?

I recently told a friend, “I don’t know if the lightbulb had come on yet.” And truthfully, I’m still not 100% certain. I’ve had a hand in so many things over the years. Some of them aren’t necessarily profitable or viable careers, but fun? Heck yeah!

Let me provide examples. All through high school and some of college, I did theatre. The stage was my life. I was building sets, designing lights, and memorizing lines. But, all of the older, wiser folks in my life convinced me “there’s no money in that.”

While I was in high school, I helped with various sports as an assistant coach/manager. I also did video work and photography. At one point I was even the guy in the mascot costume. And I carried the camera work all the way through college. I still love taking pics and making videos.

I’ll admit, I’m not much of an athlete. Yes, old , broken paradigm, I know. But I used to ride a 10 speed bike everywhere. I didn’t get a driver’s license until my 21st birthday. I grew up in Iowa, a state where towns are pretty spaced apart, but most small towns can be traversed by pedal power in 20 minutes or less. I know bicycling a little bit.

I was around for the early, early days of the Internet. I’ve always been fascinated with the world wide web. That’s something I still dabble in now.

I shadowed a reporter in 7th grade. (I don’t remember what grade exactly.) I thought newspaper work was cool. I learned newspaper work before we had computer aided layout. Line tape, straight edge, Exacto knives, and lots of glue. It seems primitive now. But master the old, hard basics and the new stuff is easy. Same with theatre lighting.

I loved art in school. I mixed a hobby- role playing games- with art in the form of miniatures wargaming. I love painting minis. I love sculpture period, regardless of size. I love paintings, too. Abstract is mutt favorite, but I can appreciate just about anything.

I mentioned role playing games. That’s how I became a sociology major, actually. I love small group interactions. I love talking to people one-on-one. Everyone has a story. As a side note, I always admired that about my dad, too. I love a good story.

I love crafting stories either with my fellow game “nerds” or by myself. Although gaming with friends gives me a better excuse to eat mad snax and roll lots of dice. There’s also mandatory hours of joking around after.

So, what is all this? I’m going through a period of deep self exploration. I’m learning to understand, accept, and love myself. My love of all things paranormal, especially UFO’s and ETs led to my spiritual awakening and revived my love of meditation and universal peace. Ultimately, it led to Laura Dibenedetto’s 90 Day Habit Mastery Program.

This isn’t another shameless plug, but rather where I’m at right now. Things are coming up for clearing that I had imagined were long gone. With all the painful past memories, I’ve also remembered old passions. I used to be kind of a renaissance man.

So, I’ve been doing a great deal of introspection and soul searching as part of the 90 Day Habit Mastery Program. Was I born to tell gasoline truck drivers where to go all night? Abso-friggin-lutely not! Do you think there’s joy in that? Again, abso-smurfly not!

Here’s the dilemma. I have a family to provide for. Now I’m thinking, “hmm. Maybe my dear ol’ Dad was right.” Maybe I should leave all the childish things behind and get a grindy, boring, monotonous job that just wears my soul down hour by hour, day by day, month after trudgerous month, year after unfulfilling year until I retire or die. Sounds great, right? My entire worth is in my paycheck.

Oh no. Lack mentality kicks in. What do I do without that check? What do I do if I get canned? Why can’t I up and quit without something else lined up? What would become of me?

Okay, I’m not totally daft. They’re called “loved ones” for a reason. It’s not lack, fellow lightworkers. It’s safe. Maybe too safe, keeping the old, monotonous grind job. But, if LoA is as awesome as all the gurus say, I can stay put AND still attract better. Right? Well, we’ll see. Money *does* light me up, technically.

I mean, think about it. Turn me loose with a large budget. See what happens. Bills get paid. Sounds rudimentary, but think about it- some of those bills have living people with families on the other end. Sweet! Helped then out today.

Money is a good thing! Damn right I’m excited! Theatre- productions need backing. And facilities, lights, set, and props aren’t free. Bicycles cost money. Minis? Paint? No budget concerns? Woohoo! Books. Omg books and books… Yeah. Money is cool.

So what lights me up most? Ya know. I’m still not sure. I’m looking around right now. I’m digging deep. (Thanks @lauraldibenedetto.) And I’ll let you know. If anyone has any suggestions, please send me a message. I have a long list of “no’s,” but you might be surprised what gets a “yes.”

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