Jeff's Game Box

This is just a quick start to my blog. I want to talk about my favorite, or maybe second favorite genre of RPG gaming- Space Opera. One of my first loves was superheroes. But, I used to spend hours building starship crews with Marvel Super Hero characters. Then came the Star Wars RPG from West End Games.

I picked this book up as soon as I learned of it. And yes, I still have it. I was making characters and customizing ships on day one. The system was so simple, yet exciting. Of course, back in those days, we only had the Rebellion Era.

Since then, Star Wars has undergone some serious changes as both a movie and an RPG franchise. While I like the Clone Wars era with its Jedi, the new stuff is well… So, how bout that Rebellion Era? Good times, right?

So, lets talk about another WEG space game that many have forgotten about. Did anybody ever really get into Shatterzone? It was gritty, kinda Cyberpunk-esque. You could do literally anything, but there were Mega-Corps spanning the stars and more interestingly, there were new worlds to explore. I’d love to see this game make a comeback someday. As a side note, I’m happy Torg made a comeback not too terribly long ago.

Before I get into a newer space game, I should probably mention a really well-designed, well-loved classic- Star Frontiers by T$R. I have this in three different incarnations, PDF, an old beat-up box set, and probably my favorite, the newly re-tooled Frontierspace. Turns out the good folks at DWD Games love Star Frontiers more than I do. This is another almost generic space game, simple rules set, and you can do almost anything. But the thing I think I love the most is that it’s not actually tied to a specific world. You can do literally anything with it.

I should probably pay homage to Traveler. It’s had more editions than I’d care to think about. I like this game, but I always found it a bit dry. It’s very sciencey. Like, if you took all the dramatic elements out of Star Trek and just focused on complicated engineering equations. Not to mention that most incarnations had this unbearably complex character generation system reminiscent of Space Master. (Eesh!) I don’t hate it, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to find a campaign. It has a very small but fanatical niche in the RPG community.

Speaking of fanatical, I have owned and/or played/or have run pretty much every incarnation of the Star Trek RPG. Obviously, this game is not as combat oriented and tends to focus more on drama. That’s not to say there aren’t a lot of great science fiction stories coming out of this RPG, but it definitely encourages you to stick to canon. Although hats off to Mophidius Games for doing the Klingon book. (Like, the much awaited play-as-a-Klingon-Book.) Woot! But, the drawback to Star Trek can be that you must have a dedicated, fairly serious group, preferably one who watches every episode, has regular convention attendance and maybe even shows up to Ren Faires in their Trek costumes in order to get the authentic Roddenberry experience.

I would recommend taking a look at two old space RPG’s if you can still get a hold of them. The first is Amazing Engine, also from T$R back in the day before they went bankrupt. Bug Hunters and The Galactos Barrier are both classic RPG’s. There is also a briefly popular game from the WotC days called Alternity. Aside from giving my spell checker a coronary, it’s a pretty interesting and flexible system. I think both are worth a look. Alternity is out in a new edition under Sasquatch Games.

Another setting that came to mind that stands out as a winner is WOIN N.E.W. from EN Publishing. I highly recommend everyone who is serious about their space gaming experience go check this out. Much like Star Frontiers, mentioned earlier, you can do almost anything with this system. Exploration, military, space fantasy, (compatible with the other two WOIN books,) and even gritty, semi realistic neo political cyberpunk roleplay. It’s definitely worth a look. There are also a couple of really excellent sourcebooks out for this that are worth a look if you find yourself getting interested.

Last, before I go, I don’t think an examination of space games in the last 15 years would be complete without StarFinder from Paizo Publishing. As one might expect from knowing about the company’s flagship product, Pathfinder, it’s’pretty much D&D in space.

I’ll give it a little more credit than that, though. They have done an excellent job adapting the D20 Open License to a space game. I love the characters, love the sourcebooks. It really only falls kind of flat for me in terms of the setting. Like Pathfinder, it is very specifically tied to its campaign setting. I suspect this was intentional so people didn’t suddenly run amok with their rules and characters. After all, the Universe is vast and infinite, but if you want to market and sell an rpg, it’s probably better to limit it to one or two specific star systems, right?

I know I have probably missed a few classics, and we haven’t even started on all of the generic games and adaptations. Next time I want to talk about a spin-off genre to space games, Mecha. Til then, stay safe in the real world, and happy gaming!

Today I feel slightly less outraged, upset and insane than the past three or four. I might say mellow or even serene. I woke up and all I heard was a voice saying, I am blessed with abundance.

After the last couple of days, I really needed that reminder. And I finally did have that chat with my, uh, mentor? Someone I admire the bajeezus out of, anyway.

Which is not to say I didn’t feel slightly triggered at work when I found out the time table for the disaster has been there all along and is a lot sooner than we thought.

The more I dig into all this, the more I think everything appears in divine timing. I will move onto smoother, more prosperous times ahead. I am happy in the now moment. Really it all struck me as funny just now.

Here I am getting all worked up over, what? These guys? This place? Which, I still plan on leaving one smelly arse terrible review of, btw.

But why on Earth would I want to stick with a bunch of clowns that can figure out one job description and stick to it? Or figure out a position and know what it entails before they stick someone in it, which historically has not been the case.

That’s why I find this amusing and will probably be shifting between neutral and bemused for the next three or four months if I had to guess. If this company/department/”management team”/pack of rabid Mcjackals is that bad? They don’t deserve me and I deserve way better. And that’s where I’ll leave my opinion of them until I’m all the way out.

Yes, I still have a family to feed, but unlike the last few nights, I remember to have faith. We’ll make it through. The specifics are going to fill in as I go. A valuable lesson here is control. The harder one tries to control the narrative, the more stress it ultimately causes. Does anyone need more stress in this world?

We’ve survived Cronaa. We’ve survived murder hornets and locusts and murder hornets having babies with locusts. We’ve survived riots and massive social upheaval. I’m pretty sure this too shall pass.

I always think back to the newspaper clippings of photos from about 1910-1935 of all the people holding signs up that say quippy things like, “Repent Now” and “The End is Nigh.” Yet, we’re still here.

True, X-Events then took a lot longer to get around in the news than they do now, but every generation has the next big thing to end all things. My grandparents and parents had the Great Depression and the Atomic Bomb for cryin out loud. When you stop to think about it, 2020 is really no big deal on a grander scale.

So, lookin up from here.

What follows is an email I was getting ready to send to someone whom I look up to a great deal. I don’t want to say who. But I really need to get this off my chest, and it turns out hardly anyone reads my blog, anyway. Win-win, right?

Hey,

I sincerely hope this finds you well. How have things been as of late? It’s been a whirlwind year, to be sure. I’m not even talking about the plague or the riots. 

I’m writing to you because this is kind of a long story or at least longer than I could pop into a FB message. I’ll try to go easy on you since I know you’re busy. But, your advice is incredibly valuable and you’re one of my only real friends in the world, so… 

I’ll preface all of this by saying there are matters that I’m sorting through and using the resources already available (Long Story.) But I have a couple of really deep, really tough questions I was hoping to get your opinion on.

My job is, realistically speaking, coming to a screeching halt in the next 3-9 months. I know, kinda vague, but that’s what we’re working with. And while that is/was one of those things I wanted to change anyway, there are a few major downsides to it. 

First, we’re going to have bills piling up. My wife has given me that lecture twice already, and that was while everything was relatively stable. It might have been her way of preventing me from up-and-quitting my job. She’s a very protective Mom that way. (Sorry. Drama.) But obviously I have to have some kind of reasonable income coming in. (Did that sound weird?)

Second, and I was wrestling this before, is a bundle of fears all revolving around my age. You have said once or twice before that if I were to become a millionaire, I would have done it by now. (Please correct me if that’s wrong.) I mean, probably. But now would be a good time to reexamine that notion. I mean, isn’t that what all this LoA stuff is for?

No kidding, I feel old. I just turned 48 back in June. Shit. I’m too old to start over and anyone who interviews me is going to see my age and experience and assume the worst. Sad, but true commentary on our workforce.

And that’s another point that I’ve gone around and around with since before quarantine happened. What skills? What interests? Okay, the marketable ones? I just don’t know any more. 

Speaking of age, I’m old. My back is fried. I’m not going back to scrubbing floors or throwing groceries. There’s no future there for me, anyway. If nothing else, I’m too nocturnal. And again, if LoA is a real thing? I should be working for myself, not just putting money in someone else’s pockets.

I’m just an old game geek. I have plenty of ideas and stories, sure. But how many other people are doing the same? Especially these days. And a lot of my other non-gamer ideas are even crazier and less realistic. UFOs/ETs along with spirituality are my other jam these days.

Go back to school? The degrees I have now aren’t doing squat. Like, I might even tell my own kids not to bother given I’ve seen high school dropouts making more than I do at my current job. I mean seriously. A diploma is over-priced receipt for a job half done nowadays.

On second and third and fourth thought, maybe I won’t send this. I don’t want to be that one whiny, clingy, toxic dude that I dread becoming. I’m just feeling a LOT vulnerable, squishy even, right at the moment. I know you’re riding the mega wave of success right now and I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer.

Thanks for your time. Hope to hear from you. Anything you want to contribute would be lovely. You know I think you’re the best.

In closing, in terms of my blog showing on LinkedIn- I don’t do temp agencies or whatever y’all call yourselves nowadays. We just don’t mix. And, if I had money to donate? Why would I be looking for work?

If you have a legit, real, interesting offer of something you think I might go for? Please by all means, my email is on my blog or just PM me any time.

When last we left our uh, hero? guy? me? Something. Not totally sure. I’m not feeling terribly heroic these days.

The OLD Paradigm:

The man is the head of the household, the provider, and the chief decision maker. Dad is six and a half feet tall and bulletproof. He’s a manly man doing super manly things.

The NEW Paradigm:

My wife makes more than I do. She has better insurance. I let, practically insist on letting her pay the bills. Mom is all that and a bag of chips. Dad is a source of a paycheck and some household labor. Happy Wife, happy life (such as it is.)

Okay, so I have a few other things going on in the background and just in general I’m questioning a LOT of things in life. Quite honestly, I’m okay not having my current job. If it goes, it goes.

That’s not to say I want to be a “deadbeat dad.” I’m not lazy. I like working. But here’s the deal: I want to work on my terms. And if not for myself, then for someone I truly resonate with. (If such a person exists.)

And moreover, I want to do something I’m really passionate about. As long as my family is taken care-of. Hell if I know what that looks like right now.

Part of this post was actually going to be a frantic text message to someone very wise who I admire a great deal. Which I may very well do after this. We’ll see how it goes. I have some idea how that conversation might go. Again, just my gut.

I know a lot of who and what I’m not. Sure, I want to stay positive and high vibe for LoA sake. I intend to keep things going up.

But, honestly family, I’ll tell you what I’m feeling now that I will eventually reconcile. I feel let down, like I’m a failure. I feel like that deadbeat dad I dread becoming although that’s a more of a societal term. I feel old. I feel worn out. Folks, I’m tired and I’m just ready to go home. But I know I literally have more work to do here. What, where and how? No idea.

I’m going to let it go right here for now. I have a lot to say on the subject. But spiritually, I think it’s best to step outside of myself and observe (not bypass.)

I’m not even in full on rant mode yet.

I had a meeting with my supervisor. I’m going to mix what was actually said with what I speculatively know about these situations. Unfortunately, over the years I’ve learned corporate bullshit doublespeak. And kids, cover your eyes if you’re sensitive. I’m going to be raw, uncensored, and probably quite negative. Sunshine, roses, and unicorn farts to follow in another post.

I have worked for multiple companies that have gone belly up. It happens. Usually due to mismanagement. This is not entirely the case.

Our previous department head was very, very kind, open, approachable, heck- loveable. She was the first in and the last out on the day shift most days. She had been with the company for a very, very long time. Really, she was the best boss you could have asked for. Cut from a different mold entirely. And then she retired.

And we got these new people (and I’m trying to keep this pleasant. I have other terminology I like to use for a couple of them.) Day one it was made clear that they were going to do things the “new way” and make “big changes.” All the rhetoric you would expect from a new administration.

All of us old timers automatically knew that pretty much meant they were going to come in and clean house, change literally everything around, and probably fire most of the old guard. And today that’s pretty much what we were told.

They’re going to keep all the kids that are drinking their Cool-Aid. They’re going to play favorites. I’m about 90% sure my job is going away in about 6-9 months.

For once my gut and the circumstances are lining up on the same groove. I won’t get into too many specifics, but what I do can be automated easily. All of us who are somewhat tech savvy knew an algorithm can do this job. Of course our shiny new bosses caught onto this fact. yay…

But they don’t want us to react like we’re all losing our jobs because we might still have a position in the company… blah blah blah blah-blah. (Translation: I’m screwed.) Position in the company being what? Custodian again? Not on my salary. Not on my schedule.

And I can almost promise if this all goes down, I might very well forget to turn the other cheek. By that, I mean I may very well proverbially butcher them on social media, my blog and job sites that allow reviews. Bad word-of-mouth advertising is just as detrimental and good reviews are effective. Or I might have calmed down by then. Who knows?

That’s what I know in my head. This situation is pretty grim financially and in terms of providing for my family. I know plenty of people who have been decimated by Coronavid in a similar fashion.

So, in the tradition of keeping my LoA teachings alive- I am grateful to still have my job. I am grateful I have a car that runs. I am grateful I have a home to go to. I am grateful for my wife and children being healthy and well-fed. Miracles happen every day. The Universe is benevolent and this too, shall pass.

More on this shortly.

Good news today, sort of. The Saga D’Fridge is in a holding pattern, as expected. Works for me. Looks like we’re back to our original selection, probably sometime in September if all goes well. Patience.

My Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain got me an extra night off last week. The obvious drawback was a fun-filled night of holding down the couch. Then four nights off. I know. It must be rough?

Well, not really given the trade-off. 12 hour shifts, 4 nights in a row in a place that is the opposite of fulfilling. I’m grateful for providing a paycheck for my family, but it’s giving me some major pause in terms of Presence. (Capital “P” because it’s one of The Six Habits.)

I recently took a refresher course of sorts on The Six Habits. (Go check out the book if you get a chance. It’s very worthwhile.) I was reminded that during the last three months of virus/riot lockdown insanity that I may have gotten away from the good habits I worked so hard to develop the 90 Days prior.

Well, no more. As I have turned over a new leaf and started blogging almost daily again, I’m getting back into all Six Habits starting tonight. I know how to be grateful, kind to myself and others, present in the moment, good to myself energetically, how to accept myself, and how to set good intentions. Sometimes I’m less conscious of them, especially as of late. But with a little practice, they will go back to being ingrained as tightly as before.

Things were pretty quiet before the world shut down. I had time to myself to meditate, think, maybe do some writing. I looked forward to every day, even on some of the ones I worked. Then, back in March, everything came to a screaming halt.

No more walks around the lake. No more spontaneous walks around the neighborhood. No more spontaneous trips to the river. No sleeping quietly for at least four or five hours per day. No more meditating in the backyard. I can’t remember the last time the kids were really out of the house for very long. Needless to say, it changes a person.

Right now I’m having a hard time separating what I know in my head from what I know in my heart. I had long term goals a few months ago. I had goals in general a few months ago. Now all I feel like I know is my wife, kids, cats, and work. Which some would say is, “normal,” I suppose. But when have I ever gone out of my way to walk with the herd?

No lie, folks. I feel like “normal” is a slow, very painful trudge toward the grave. I yearn for way more than the cycle of work-eat-sleep-entertainment-rinse-repeat. I’ve never been 100% sure how to get the hell out of said cycle. But I am determined to break the chain somehow.

If this whole cov-rona-ick plandemic has taught me anything, it’s that I love working from home. I would love to be my own boss. I am affirming today again I am my own best boss and number one employee. The 64.5 cent question is: Doing what?

That’s what’s been holding me back. If anyone has any thoughts, I’m all ears. I just really don’t know the what. I’m a man of several talents. Not sure how to get paid for any of them, which has been my problem for the last 30+ years.

Anyway, thank you for indulging another rant. Tomorrow, we’ll discuss what my head and my heart know that really, truly throw a wrench into all the self development and Law of Attraction stuff I know.

Til then…

Good news! I am grateful my wife is still a free citizen. I am grateful we still have a new fridge coming- eventually. I’m grateful the old fridge is still alive and kickin. I’ll take what I get.

My wife went to the store where we purchased our new refrigerator and renegotiated a new model, newer date, and… they’re calling us to make sure we can get it. Otherwise, it might be middle of September or later- much, much later. But we’ll take it. #firstworldproblems. At least we’re getting there.

She went in mad. She’s still pretty mad, I think. Everyone is blaming Cov-icky-boo-boo-ronavirus for all the messed up delays. Except it’s not just the damn plague.

It’s people underselling one another. It’s inaccurate inventory numbers. It’s scratch-n-dent crap getting passed off as fully functional. It’s people so desperate for commission, they’ll say literally anything. It’s manufacturing being shut down and on an entirely on another continent. It’s about big corporate appliance retailers and their screwed up way of doing business.

Let’s rewind about 70 years or so. There’s a building, just down the street from here who sold furniture and rent-to-own appliances. If the owner didn’t have it on hand, he didn’t sell it. If he could get it in, he’d order it and give you a call when it came in. And the best part- the manufacturer was still in the same country as the store.

So was it any surprise when the entire world up and shut down because of Covirona things got totally fouled up? And ‘they’ are actually pushing us closer to nothing but big box retailers willing to stab each other in the back for a bigger commission, with appliances built overseas. This isn’t where I get all teary-eyed and wave the flag.

Cash? Going away. Small retailers? Dying fast. Local manufacturers? A thing of our distant past. Neighborhood stores owned by local people? You guessed it. Dropping like flies. Welcome to what some of us call, “The Plandemic.” And it’s only going to get hairier as it goes, family.

There are a lot of beautiful, kind, gentle people out of a job because of this mess. And more unemployment on the way. My job is looking pretty grim right now. I can see it coming. Of course the bosses are denying it fervently, but I’ve been in this situation before. My Spidey Senses are going bonkers more every day. For about 50 years, automation has been displacing good people. The world shutting down due to sick humans is only encouraging more machine interface.

So far, patience, perseverance, empathy and peace are winning the day. I’m grateful just for being here. I’m grateful my family is healthy. I’m grateful that for now, I still have a job that pays okay. But, by God, as my dear Dad used to say, By God, things are going to get better. The world does not have to be a mess. I CHOOSE BETTER!

This all goes well beyond a fridge or even a gallon of milk in it. It goes beyond one family in Iowa. ALL of us are living not in a “new (gag) normal.” We are living in a new paradigm. We need to adapt, change and band together in communities. Not just local neighborhoods. Not just like-minded folk. We need to get our act together as a global community for economic and social change. (Nothing political.)

End Rant. For now. I guess. Because this is running long.

So, we get Round 3 of Wife Vs Large Appliance Retailer. More as it develops.

So, our 25 year old fridge here at Casa De Craigmile is quite literally being held together with bubble gum, twine and the handyman’s secret weapon, duct tape. (Thank you Red Green.) To make things more entertaining, we have a very awkward small-ish space to put it, because the previous occupants of the house had few worries about it and built the kitchen cabinets around the fridge. We have a family of six, so we need every inch.

My loving wife did a ton of online research and narrowed it down to one place that might have actually had one on hand. So, my wife and I packed the kids into the van and went to (Large Appliance Retailer) with hopes a newer refrigerator to replace the old clunker.

Now, this might sound like a “poor me” story, but it really isn’t. And, truly I believe this is a test from the Universe. I think the happy ending is coming. We’ll see.

The first salesman we talked to at (Large Appliance Retailer) said the Samsung models were all back-ordered to Hell and gone. I’m thinking, okay I like LG. That’s cool. GE makes some nice stuff. But with all of our size requirements and taste in large appliances we found a Samsung that we really, really liked.

Us: Are you sure, absolutely sure you can get it?

Salesman Number TWO: Oh yeah, no problem.

Us: Are you sure? The other guy said they were massively back-ordered due to Covid.

Salesman Two: Yeah there’s one up in our warehouse up in Minneapolis.

Us: Okay, cool.

Me to Salesman Number One: (Right before corralling the kids out to the van.) Are you sure it’s not on back-order?

Salesman Number One: (Looking at Salesman Number Two for approval.) Oh, yeah. It’s fine. We’ll get it.

Me: (Shrug.) Okay.

My wife hashed out all the fine details for our shiny new metal $2,300 dollar Samsung Model XX Bad Ass Refrigerator complete with water dispenser, ice cube maker, and WiFi connection. (Because I guess I need to check my phone to see if the temperature of my Brussels sprouts are okay?) And it was supposed to be here and all nice and hooked up on Friday, Aug 7. This was last week. July 27th or thereabout.

The next day my wife got a text message that our order had been delayed. Panic ensued. Phone calls were made. We found out it was just a bag of parts for the water hookup. No big deal. Game on for the 7th, Right?

We cleaned all around the fridge. We’ve got everything we can think of cooked up, thrown out, cleaned up, etc in preparation for Friday morning. (Today being the 5th. My wife is super worried about this whole thing coming together.) And we get a new voice mail automated message. “Please re-schedule your installation. Your refrigerator was delayed.”

So, my loving and now angry wife was then on the phone for over an hour trying to get a live human being to explain what the actual hell was going on with the new fridge. Turns out they didn’t have one in the warehouse in Minneapolis as promised and nearest they can tell, it’s on a boat headed here from Korea, assuming there are no delays from Covid. The new estimated arrival time is (ha ha ha) September 17. Assuming everything goes well.

I say the old one still runs, duct tape and all. Let’s wait it out. Yes, it’s a little inconvenient with the shelf that broke which started this whole comedy of errors. Meh. We cut back on groceries a little. Maybe cook more out of the pantry and less out of the fridge. No big.

The old me would have wanted a head on a pike and a quart of blood from the sales staff at (Large Appliance Retailer.) The new, more patient, more understanding, more empathetic me is willing to wait this out. I really believe it’s a test of patience. LoA would indicate if there is resistance, Source has something bigger and better in mind, right?

<Gulp.> My wife is going to said appliance store tomorrow. I fully expect to hear, “East Side!” followed by a floor model fridge being crammed uncomfortably down someone’s throat or something equally angry. The people at Arby’s probably still have flashbacks from that ugly Cherry Turnover incident a few years ago.

We figure either A: they never had the thing in the warehouse in the first place and yay commission. Or B: This is a massive circus of errors between here and the warehouse or the warehouse and Korea. My whole point is not to pull out the blamethrowers and start yelling until we have more facts. Even then, what good is it going to do? We need a fridge. Yelling at some poor unsuspecting factory guy in Korea is not going to get it here any faster.

I’d like to think that since gaining a small amount of spiritual enlightenment and all of the self development work from The Six Habits by Laura DiBenedetto that maybe I have the patience, understanding, presence and mindfulness not to completely get triggered and go apesh*t on someone like I used to. Guess we’ll find out. Really all I want to do is make sure the kids have cold milk to drink. Which, so far we do.

More news as it develops on “Fridge Debacle 2020.”