Tag: #gratitude

My One Year Freedom-versary!

All I can do is speak my truth when it comes to pain. I wake up every day feeling as if I have been beaten with a sack of hammers one at a time.

Yay! or is it yay?

It’s officially been one year since I was um, uh, “released” from my job. On one hand it was a blessing. Spiritually, I’m still grateful for this on so many levels. I still have to be careful with what I say because of all the NDA and Severance Agreements. (Grrr.) On the other hand, being broke is kinda not fun…

This is going to be another bittersweet rant on my part. I’ve still got plenty of emotional and psychological scars that may never actually heal entirely. I intend to put myself on a timeline for my greatest and highest good, but it’s been some serious work getting there so far. Therapy has definitely been super helpful.

Pain. Physical, mental and emotional friggin pain.

The physical pain is one thing, but…

All I can do is speak my truth when it comes to pain. I wake up every day feeling as if I have been beaten with a sack of hammers one at a time. As a result, sometimes I have to call in sick to work, or at least that used to be the case. It got to the point where I had to apply for FMLA. My body has been used and self abused enough over the years that it just doesn’t function as well as it used to.

Fibromyalgia sucks. Arthritis sucks. Exhaustion sucks. Pain pretty much sucks. There, I said it.

I fight depression a lot. It’s been a year long battle not to feel like a total failure. I know I’m not, but sometimes I need to remind myself of that. Not having a job has left a bruise on my ego- a pretty big one.

I think some things may have been said prior to my unfortunate separation from that company that are still gnawing on me even today. Without getting into specifics, I flunked a friggin PTSD survey for crying out loud. Or passed with flying colors depending on how you look at it. (Whichever result we didn’t want? Yeah. That one.) My therapist says I’m still hanging onto a lot of anger and resentment, too.

I still can’t deal with criticism. It’s not pretty. I don’t even like going out in public. I know it sounds terrible.

Healing following the end of any relationship, including a job, takes a long time.

I’m still coping emotionally.

I keep telling myself I’m past it. I’m over it. I’m good. I’m happier without it than with it. For the most part I am over it. Really. I’m good.

Then something comes up to remind me I have zero income. My pride kinda steps in to remind me I’m not a breadwinner in a family of six. My oldest son has started busing tables at a restaurant. My next oldest is mowing lawns all summer. I’m working on… I intend to be a writer.

I turned 50 less than a month ago. It’s been a rough year. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting better. I can almost go out in public sometimes, for a short while. I’m still not big on “people-ing.” as my wife and oldest say it. Criticism tends to start a spiral ending in my poor therapist. Yeah. My therapist is awesome, though.

Some days the bear takes you to therapy.

It’s not all doom and gloom.

My wife, Heather, has been incredibly supportive through this whole thing. I’m pretty happy and grateful every day because I’m living in a house with my family. We have enough to eat. The bills are getting paid. She’s a super mom when it comes to taking care of the kids. She’s also an A+ baker.

I appreciate her a whole lot. She’s very camera shy, so no pic. Thanks, Honey!

My friend Laura DiBenedetto once asked me to draw up a list of 50 things I’m thankful for. It’s a good exercise. When you’re down it’s not as easy as it sounds, though. I think I actually did a hundred once. It’s 25 daily if you’re following The Six Habits Workbook. Regardless, the idea is I have plenty to be grateful for. I really am grateful for each and every one.

This website, my blog especially, has benefitted from me not traipsing out the door to work every day. Once toxic corporate culture wasn’t sucking the creativity and will to live out of me, I became much more productive. This blog means so very much to me. It’s been a daily endeavor for me every day since I rebranded it at the start of the year. I love writing!

Heather, family, Laura, readers, Bimoji, anyone else who I forgot.

It was for the best all around, I suppose.

Large corporations…

Was I the best employee? No. I mean, they did gimme the ax, didn’t they? Sadly, it wasn’t an issue with my skills as much as my attitude and my willingness to call bullshit when I see it. I don’t imagine the FMLA helped, but of course we can’t prove anything or really speak of such matters. BUT, it’s nice not having to be out of the house for 48 hours per week and deal with all the Mcgarbage of corporate life. I guess they did what they thought was “best for the company.”

Personally, other than missing the paycheck, I don’t miss all the bull I had to put up with (no specifics.) One of my main objections to the job, besides having one, was that I was working in an industry known to be incredibly destructive to the Earth. It was tough to reconcile spiritually every day.

In a very general sense, I believe it best to put people before profits. I also think it’s better to promote creation over destruction, which some industries globally are pretty horrible about. Last, I prefer prosperity for all over greed. Despite any company’s lip service, win-win usually doesn’t happen.

Disclaimer: Some people mistake me for a Socialist or a Communist. Now, to be fair, I have studied about both quite a bit over the years. If we’re being honest, some tenets of a socialist democracy do appeal. Unfortunately it’s prone to abuse, corruption, misinterpretation, and ultimately suffering. So, love our government and economic system in the US or hate it? Still better than the alternatives as far as I’m concerned.

My happy place.

Flowers grow in shit, too- metaphorically and practically. I ought to know. I’ve seen enough of it.

I’m grateful I’m no longer working in that awful place, or any awful place for that matter. I love my family a lot more than I hate dealing with big businesses. More importantly, being on my own in the “workforce” has been a huge blessing!

Think about it. No job gets me more time with my family. Theoretically a cleaner house. (Still working on that. See also, kids.) I get to go to ball games and roleplaying games that I wouldn’t have gotten to otherwise. My wife loves all the attention she gets these days, I think.

Not to brag, but I get to rest on the pain flare days. No one freaks out when I say I have to stay home. On the days when everyone is in school (my wife is a teacher) I get the whole house to myself. Just me and the cats. Still… I get to meditate, nap, eat stuff out of the air fryer, write, play video games, and run errands. It’s freakin amazeballs!

If anyone thinks I’m ever going back to a corporate environment of any kind, they’re sadly, tragically mistaken.

Startups, small businesses, local endeavors, individuals are more than welcome to invite me in/ hire me. (<gulp!> I guess.) I’ve been known to bend over backwards to help doing volunteer work back in ye olde days. These days, I’d work for credit on the right project. I’m not sure about working pro-bono these days, but I might consider it for the right person.

The one thing I will never go back to, short of a corner office and a six digit salary (LOL!) is a large, unfeeling, uncaring, nameless, faceless, rotten corporation. (Which ones are rotten? Umm…)

About the time anyone started talking yearly performance reviews, big meetings, (forced) peer interactions, or any of that other corporate Mc-culture crap? I’d be out the door. The last thing I want is to put myself in a position where the review makes waterboarding seem like a summer olympic event. I will never do harsh criticism again without going off and I will happily die on that hill before I let anyone tear me down.

That is one nervous breakdown I do NOT need ever again. You could call me into a meeting with six or seven people to tell me I’m employee of the year and I’ll be f’kn absent as Hell or fightin mad. I don’t care. If I even sense it in the air, I’m gone!

Jeffco’s Employee of the Year.

Let’s be honest. Working for myself is where it’s at.

Yeah, my profits have been down since January. It’s easy to claim $0 on my taxes yet. However, we’re into July without any pesky profits. It’s like we’re selling money repellant around here. Oh, wait. Okay, we’re giving away too many free samples of money repellant. Check.

(I WAS JOKING!)

All joking aside, better times are on the horizon. I’m working on new ways of monetizing my endeavors. I intend to have some kind of income flowing within the next year. It’s going to get better. Seriously, that’s the next hill I’m willing to die on so to speak.

I truly love being my own boss. I haven’t applied to work at someone else’s business since February. Really, it’s the best way for me to go. I’m happy like this. I’m free to do just about anything I set my mind to. I wish I had come up with a plan to do this years ago.

I’m going to consider doing some freelance or contract work in the coming year. It’s similar to working completely for myself and it pays better. I’m also going to get something published one of these days, even if it’s small, electronic (pdf) publication to start getting myself out there. Part of the key to getting discovered is appearing somewhere, right?

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!

Seriously. I can’t think you enough. I appreciate you being here. I love having readers. I love having people visit the site. You’re awesome! Thank you!

I love you all!
You ARE valued.
Photo by Katie Rainbow ud83cudff3ufe0fu200dud83cudf08 on Pexels.com

Please practice kindness. Embrace joy!

I bet someone scrolled down this far to see if I posted a different picture of me in a unicorn costume. Mmm hmm.

Freedom Day! February 2020 v2.0 Edition

It’s going to get better. One of the toughest lessons in Law of Attraction is learning when the Universe is testing us. Also, learning from past experiences that keep repeating themselves is important. The Universe likes to ask, “Are you sure? Are you really ready for this awesomesauce thing you’ve been manifesting?”

I only wish I was kidding.

No surprises, really.

Remember the year 2020? Have any of us forgotten it yet? So far, this year is starting to remind me of 2020 in all of its shitastic glory.

I’ve reviewed, revised and rewritten this site. That’s as close to a breakthrough as I’ve truly had this year. I feel like we’re connecting more, reaching you, a more receptive audience, and growing together.

Then there’s the rest. The Icky Cough-Coughs came to visit in the middle of January and ate up two weeks of our lives here at the Craigmile house. It was not fun times. All of us came through it okay, which is a huge plus. Just when ya thought you were done with quarantine, though. (Eyeroll.)

The beginning of the year also brought us Governor Kim Reynolds meddling about in Iowa Workforce Development. Iowa has a massive shortage of “skilled” jobs, but nothing requiring a college degree. Nothing like a Bachelor’s degree in two majors just to have IWD tell me they’ll be happy to retrain my fibromyalgia-having ass to become an arc welder or a dental hygienist. (That shit ain’t happening.) But I still persevered through all the added hoops necessary to keep my unemployment check coming.

Then this week, I got shot down for a job I really had my sights set on. That hit right in the old depression, worse than anything in months. While I was recovering from that and a pain flare, I got a love letter in the mail from IWD. My unemployment money is due to peter out this week. We knew this day would come, but it doesn’t take the sting out of it.

Plus a lot of little things keep popping up like the kids’ grades. Minor household disasters are one of the latest things on the shit list. (Okay, a chunk of our garage literally fell off the other day.) Just for fun, I accidentally chipped a tooth the other day, too. One of these days my student loans are going to come due.

Let’s not forget it’s also an election year. Russia and the US are doing their damnedest to not go to war with one another or however that works. Let’s not forget the trucking, uh disaster, in Canada. The mass news media has more garbage and propaganda than ever to spew. I wasn’t even going to touch on this, but it does come up around here occasionally. Every once in a while my wife also goes rant mode over something a school board does any given place in the US. This whole book banning/burning thing makes me ill.

Chillin. Waitin for things to improve.

It’s going to get better. One of the toughest lessons in Law of Attraction is learning when the Universe is testing us. Also, learning from past experiences that keep repeating themselves is important. The Universe likes to ask, “Are you sure? Are you really ready for this awesomesauce thing you’ve been manifesting?”

My answer is always, “Give me a couple million dollars and let’s find out, okay?”

Hasn’t happened yet, but any day now. Right? (Nervous chuckle.) Until it does, or something equally wonderful, I have gratitude for the blessings in my life. I am grateful for new friends, especially on #TTRPGTwitter. I’m also grateful for my Earthly teachers new and old. I’m grateful for the wealth and prosperity that flows into our lives easily, endlessly and copiously every day. It’s the whole notion of living in the dream fulfilled.

The dream shifts and evolves.

Maybe this is why my vision board is not posted anywhere but in my head and on the internet. My big dream is to be a successful RPG writer/game designer. I intend for my kids to be well taken care-of. I want my wife to be happy. I’m pretty satisfied as long as all of that is in motion.

Would I love to be rich? Sure. Am I focused on being happy regardless? Yeah. Most days. Growing beyond contentment into joy is the pinnacle of high vibrations. As we all know from LoA, high vibration pulls us closer to manifesting our highest and best intentions.

I appreciate all of you. Thank you for sharing this space. More to come.

Anxiety and How I Beat It Back

What’s the BEST that can happen?

Kind of a personal share today.

My chest is getting a bit tight just thinking about all this. Breathe…

I’m working on a couple of projects that I’m very excited about or at least I should be. I’m sworn to secrecy, so I can’t say what they are, but they’re very important to me. It’s also very exciting.

That’s all fine and well, but the old sinking feelings set in. I start asking all the wrong questions in my head. What if I fail? What if I miss my deadline? What if no one likes it? What if my wife gets on me for spending more time on this than housework or finding a “real” job. What if I’m successful? Ooh pressure… What if there’s criticism? See also all of my personal PTSD triggers…

If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled up under my desk.

Procrastination sets in. I start spending way more time on social media. I play Diablo 3 like it’s going out of style. I do housework until my body says “no more.” The cats are avoiding me because of too many snuggles. Time to be my own therapist for a change. None of this pattern is new to me. Time to break the cycle.

What’s the BEST that can happen?

The worst case scenario has had enough time in the limelight to last me a lifetime. I took Public Relations in college. I know how it works. But I’m done with thinking about what could go wrong. Let’s project what it looks like when things go right.

  • Use positive affirmations to build confidence back up. If nothing else, I am okay.
  • Speak it into existence with gratitude for what will happen. “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a successfully published RPG writer.”
  • Take inspired action. Don’t let those good ideas sit on the shelf.
  • “Lean into the suck.” (Thanks Laura DiBenedetto!) More on that below.
  • False Evidence Appearing Real. Let the demons go on a diet. No more fear.
  • Stay calm. Relax. Breathe. Stay present in the moment. Every now moment.
  • Get knocked down 99 times. Stand up 100 times. Failure is part of the process.
  • Do not compare oneself to the images on social media. The grass is always greener in someone else’s front yard.
  • Finally, criticism is also part of the process. Trust that it isn’t personal. Learn. Grow from it. Keep going with the knowledge that change and growth go hand in hand.

A good friend of mine once said, “Lean into the suck.”

Yes, there’s stress. But…

Yes, there’s going to be stress. It’s part of the process. Yes, there are challenges to overcome. If it were totally easy, someone else would have done it by now. Sometimes, you just have to push through all the fear, stress, concerns and challenges to come out on top in that place of gratitude. Even Elon Musk and Jeff Besos have off days and problems to solve.

Inspired action is still action and sometimes that comes with more challenges (or consequences.) I know I have to step out of my comfort zone. I have to reach for those goals. They’re not just going to happen magically while I sit on my couch and meditate. (Yay meditation, but still…)

Yeah, sometimes things are going to suck. There are setbacks. They’re not permanent. Hold my Dr Pepper. I got this.

I have to constantly remind myself I am NOT my feelings.

Sure, I have feelings. (My man card is burning. LOL!) The thing we tend to forget is that we choose our feelings. I’m not in any imminent danger of being eaten by a bear, so I can choose something besides stress.

Yeah, criticism is likely. But my editor is human. I’m still going to put my best foot forward and do my utmost to meet deadline. If it’s not perfect, we’ll figure it out together.

I am not my diagnosis of PTSD, ADHD, depression, anxiety disorder or anything else psychology labels me as having. I am capable of staying positive and present. I can do this. I’ve got this.

Thanks for bearing with me on a personal share. Sometimes I just need to put it down in words to feel my way through things. The interweb is my vision board.

I am so grateful for all of you. Be back soon.

If you’re interested in more life changing suggestions for personal growth, you can check out The Six Habits by Laura DiBenedetto. This book and its author have helped me so much these last three years.

New Year, New Everything.

I have not abandoned spirituality, ufology or the beings completely, but I’m stepping a very long way back from talking about it. I’ve been into tabletop roleplaying games for years before awakening.

After a LOT of consideration and thought, I’ve rebranded my site and almost everything else I had going. I’ll briefly get into a couple of reasons for this, primarily because I was just due for a major overhaul.

The first reason that comes to mind is I wanted the look of the site to evolve and reflect the change in content. I was running Sellswordgames.blog. As that site will no longer being used and I am pretty much done with that brand, we’re moving back in here with all my gaming content.

I have not abandoned spirituality, ufology or the beings completely, but I’m stepping a very long way back from talking about it. I’ve been into tabletop roleplaying games for years before awakening. I will still embrace the Universe in all things, thanking Source for all things, and loving life on Gaia each and every day. My focus on love, prosperity, and joy have not gone away, but rather are being rekindled here in a different way.

The second reason is I wanted to take advantage of my primary blog site’s WordPress features. There are a few more options for monetization, etc here than on the free WordPress sites. There are also more/better looking thematic options and plugins I can use.

Lastly, it was just time for some changes. Law of Attraction means getting into that flow state; acting on inspiration, and I really felt like I was getting into a groove at the end of last year. I will still be posting the occasional personal note along with all the cool gaming stuff I have lined up. I’m excited to be up and running again. I have a renewed sense of vigor when it comes to writing and I have a lot of fun projects lined up.

Thank you. Namaste

I am grateful for everyone who follows me and sees this. Thank you! Have a great week and I’ll be back very soon.

Freedom Day, DECember Edition

https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

Hard to believe it’s December already.

Christmas is right around the corner. I’m still without any kind of meaningful employment if anyone was wondering. Not that I’m bitter, but more on that in a moment. I have started an account on Ko-Fi if you want to buy me a cup of coffee or contribute to my kids’ college funds.

My Ko-Fi Can be Found Here:
https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

I really do.

I want to share some love with the people who have been here for me through the year. It’s been…

Good at times. We’ve experienced some real abundance. I’ve felt the “Flow” at times as we say in Law of Attraction circles. I’m going to drop a ton of Instagram links below in a movie-credit style roll for those interested in making new friends. It’s been a good year, in many respects.

Then there was the not-as-amazing stuff. Being unemployed is a blessing and a curse. (Again, more on that later.) Our health held up. Our roof stayed attached through all of the wind storms. Christmas is looking very bright this year. We’re still kicking butt as a single income house so far. Ya know, I keep coming up with all these things to be grateful for, almost like my Higher Self is showing me what to say?

Like, maybe you can’t be super high vibe all the time, but the lows aren’t so low, either. I will honestly say, I’ve had some struggles with depression, anxiety, anger, and pain this year. Depression and pain being the absolute worst of it, but I’ve managed to pull through. The valleys aren’t as deep any more and the hills aren’t as tough to climb.

Okay, taking a minute to spit a little anger at a few groups, because duality exists.

First, I’d like to put a big middle finger in the air up to corporate America. I especially have a mean-on for one specific industry that I can’t mention here for the potential of getting sued. But let’s just say it doesn’t bode well for any of the suit-n-tie-wearing, bottom-line-toting, conference-room-team-meeting, SMART-goal-fucking, overinflated, top-heavy, corporate McAssholes of the world when you treat people like absolute shit and then get around to firing them. In an ironic twist, I hear people are leaving some of those corporate jobs in droves because of shitastic working conditions and poor treatment by management, anyway. Good for them!

Second, another KissMyAss award goes out to #ufotwitter. Yes. You’ve earned it. Stop being pompous, overinflated egoic, know-it-all naysayers who allow no one a differing opinion or outlook. For people fighting for Disclosure and want to “believe” in ETs, UFOs, UAPs or whatever you’re calling them this week? Y’all got a funny way of showing it. Probably because you know the minute meaningful ET contact is made or Disclosure ends publicly, you’re going to have to shut up and your book deal will be gone. Meanwhile, all the government funded disinformation agents and shills out there are finally going to be out of their jobs, too. But, take heart. I hear Iowa Workforce Development will retrain you as an arc welder or dental hygienist for free.

Third, the State of Iowa could sink into the center of the Earth any day now for what it’s worth. Hopefully they can build bridges to connect other states over the crater. We’ll probably find some way to blame the Governor Kim Reaper for it. Our Cov-Icky-Cough-Coughs numbers are higher than most Third World Nations and our employment outlook is horrible. Iowa Workfarce Enforcement only cares about one set of uneducated-but-skilled laborers. If you have a college degree, get ready to step down and take it in the butt or go without a job. But if you’re fresh out of high school or suddenly disillusioned with UFOlogy and can follow instructions like a good little drone, they want you.

A Couple of Other Thoughts While We’re Here.

COVID… I’ve seen so much freakin rhetoric about vax vs anti-vax and mask vs anti-mask. And again, see that bright red state in the middle of the map with the outrageous uptick in reported outbreaks? Yeah… Get your shots or don’t. Wear a mask or don’t. Make the decision for yourself. Just stop talking about it, please. Save our sanity.

Mainstream Media- I have a journalism degree for cryin out loud. (Not that it’s ever made a huge difference.) You know what one of the first things I cut out of my life right after I graduated was? Watching any kind of news broadcast or reading any news outside of the occasional YouTube video or article from an independent website. Even then, I take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Please, do yourselves a favor this holiday season and in life and turn the TV off, stop listening to the bobble headed idiots on morning radio, put the newspaper down, and go outside for some fresh air. Screw politics. To Hell with what the Kardashians are doing now. Fuck COVID. Let the Chinese do whatever they’re going to do today. Ignore Trump entirely. Just go get some fresh air and appreciate the world around you. You’re gonna be so much better off for it.

Let’s talk about that whole “being unemployed” thing for a few.

This is not a dis on people with jobs. We all gotta do what we gotta do. Love ya for it.

Personally, if I never set foot in an office again to work, it’s not gonna hurt my feelings. I’m productive from right here at home. Yes, I’m struggling right now because no one sees my value. I can write. I know I can. I have yet to land a writing gig. Yes, I know what’s on my résumé It says I’ve been beaten more times than your college baseball team. But it doesn’t say a thing about me or what I’m capable of. Iowa Workless Defamation doesn’t see it. The locals aren’t hiring for anything I want to do and finding a remote job is like… Geez, I can’t even come up with a good comparison any more because it pretty much sucks!

Yes, I would love to have a “career” again. Quite honestly, being a stay-at-home dad is starting to feel a little like freeloading. This is not exactly fulfilling my life purpose or seeing my mission as a lightworker out, but it’s not horrible, either. I would love to be bringing in some money for roof repairs, a new vacuum cleaner, or whatever else comes up next. I mean, four kids. It’s always something.

LOL! Did I mention that Ko-Fi link? https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

People whom I wish to give much credit this year. Thank you friends, family, and Earthly teachers:

First Off, Thank you Heather Craigmile, loving wife and mother of our four kids. (No links.) She’s shy. Sorry folks.

Here’s a list of some of my friends on Instagram in no particular order:

  • Laura DiBenedetto: @lauraldibenedetto
  • Shane: @thespiritofthecosmos
  • Sharon: @candidly_sharonh
  • Andrea Garris: @a.l.garris
  • Dr Julia Colangelo @drjuliacolangelo
  • Alana Weinberg: @healwithalana

I had to leave a few people off for privacy reasons. And if I left you off, please know I still love you! Thank you!

Already?!?

God bless my wife for keeping the family going. Thank you, Heather, if you see this, for putting up with my antics for this long. You deserve a medal.

It’s the 19th already?!? Where does the time go?

This might be my last post on this blog. I haven’t fully decided yet. I guess I’ll let you know. It’s Freedom Day for me. It’s been four months since I had a “real” job.

God bless my wife for keeping the family going. Thank you, Heather, if you see this, for putting up with my antics for this long. You deserve a medal.

Time to get a little more vulnerable than usual. It’s been a rough month for me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Let me try to put this together in a way that will make sense. Please pardon my ramble in advance.

To the handful of people that read this, I thank you. You are truly appreciated.

Me.

This blog has been a kind of learning lab for me. Figuring out what to do, what not to do, and what all is possible. It’s been a labor of love. But I’m here to tell ya, family- this last month has really made me question a good number of things in my life.

First setback of the month was:

Let’s start at the top with the Añjali debacle. She announced that the Mojave expedition is permanently on hold due to the health concerns of the man who owns the land that the tunnel to the underground base sits on. It was a huge disappointment for some and an even bigger I-told-ya-so for the asinine turds of #ufotwitter. I guess yay for them, but it’s a huge setback for some of us.

It’s big old double whammy for those of us in the UFO and Spiritual communities. I mean I’ve been called a “New Ager woo-woo freak” by the nuts-and-bolts guys before because I’m spiritually active and listen to channelers, CE-5, meditate regularly, and so on. I really think someone should unite the communities. Añjali could have been that link, but too many people were protecting their vested interests and cash cows to listen. So, any credibility some of us freaks had in the UFO world is more disrupted than ever. ETs could land on my front lawn complete with video and #ufotwitter would say it was fake.

Añjali wasn’t necessarily the great white hope. We knew there was a possibility that she could be involved in a psyop to discredit, dismantle, and disrupt both the Ufology and spiritual communities. Personally, I don’t think she is, but I acknowledge that it’s possible. Then again, Lue Elizondo could be doing the same thing and there are plenty of people eating right out of his proverbial hands, too. I’ve said on Twitter and elsewhere that Añjali should have gone to the experiencer/contactee or spiritual channeling communities with her information instead of UFO (a$$holes) Twitter. But hey, like so many others, she shut me down and refuses to answer my Direct Messages. Again, the skeptic in me sees a false flag operation, but who knows…

It was NaNoWriMo Month again, too.

I’m unemployed. Technically every month could/should be NaNoWriMo. Family support is important if you intend to bang out an entire book in one month. I have five other people and three cats that all need love and attention on any given day so it just didn’t come together. I may actually start a novel yet this month, but there’s no pressure, no writing buddies, or any of the usual NaNo flair. It’ll be okay.

Found me a new community.

My English teachers and editors would be losing their ever loving minds over that header, but whatever. I have gone back into my #ttrpg roots, and that may be what this blog changes over to soon. Again, I guess we’ll see. I kinda like having a place for personal shares, but I have only this humble paid-for space and I would really love the Premium package for my gaming ventures. TTRPG stands for TableTop RolePlaying Games, for those who don’t know.

So, yeah, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a huge Dungeons and Dragons fan and have been pretty much my whole life. I started gaming back in the early 1980’s and have been at it for almost 40 years. But it’s always been a hobby and a writing venture. I have yet to sell anything in the industry. I’ve worked in game stores. I’ve sold a lot of games over the years. But, always a bridesmaid, so to speak.

That brings us to the next point.

I’ve had to spend lots of meaningful time with my friends at Iowa Workforce Development this month to ensure my unemployment check didn’t get cut off completely. I’ve gotten to attend all kinds of fun meetings to make sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I guess that’s what they get paid the big bucks for, but at the same time, they’re not actually doing anything for me, aside from my unemployment check.

I also got an anonymous message from a former co-worker with a juicy tidbit that confirmed some of my suspicions. I wish I could say a LOT more without jeopardizing my severance and NDAs, but I can’t. Somebody should, though. To quote the Matrix, Cypher told Morpheus “If you’d told us the truth, we would’ve told you to shove that red pill right up your ass.” That’s true of my severance package, but my family needed the money, so it’s a tough choice and I ultimately made the right decision.

That said, my job search has thus far been a running joke with me. Honestly, if I never work a “real job” again, it’ll be too soon. I like being my own boss, setting my own hours, and giving myself a pat on the back for being my employee of the month. Unfortunately, IWD has a hard time seeing this. They have an obvious agenda. I’m not part of that equation.

They told us in one of their little “classes” that they want people to fill what they refer to as the “middle skills” roles. In other words, they want people who have completed high school, but haven’t been to college. They want dental hygienists, welders, truck drivers and nurses. Do I fit that description? Hell no! Do I want to take a pay cut and do something I’m going to be absolutely miserable doing? F*ck No!!! I will literally embrace homelessness for myself (and only myself) before I will ever go back to the 9-5 grind doing something just for the sake of doing it.

And they keep trying to tell us “Oh, it’s so meaningful. So many people find their life purpose doing this…” No. No, people really don’t find it meaningful or fulfilling. In fact, it makes me sick to my stomach to hear the IWD people rattle on about fulfilling it is to sleep, eat, work, repeat and how everything else is just a fun hobby. Again, I get that it’s what they’re paid to do, but it’s not an enlightened, spiritually aware thing to do.

My whole resume is disgustingly full of the kinds of jobs they’re talking about. No offense to anyone, but I think I’d rather die than go back to just about any of those jobs. The pay is mediocre. The hours are long and unfulfilling. There is no appreciation from management most of the time. The benefits are crappy. Worst of all, my health will not support that kind of work ever again in an office or any other environment.

Lol! This is getting long. To be continued…

Oh Freedom Day!

I AM realistic. I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!!!

I’ve been liberated from the grind of 12 hour work days for three months!

I want to preface this with the thought: Be responsible! Don’t do anything rash on account of what somebody on the Internet said. I wouldn’t be here right now were it not for the kindness and understanding of my family. For that I am extremely grateful.

If you’re working hard to keep food on the table, keep going. You got this!

Things I’m grateful for since freedom came to me:

  • I’m my own boss and my own employee of the month.
  • Freedom from McCorporate Team environment.
  • The slow 12 hour workday trudge to the grave is no more.
  • Time for my family.
  • Time for my own health and sanity.
  • Setting my own schedule.
  • Deciding my own fate over putting money in their pockets.

Hallelujah! I am so happy and grateful to be free on this day! This is proof that the Law of Attraction really does work. It’s not always easy or painless, but it does come together in its own special way. We live in a benevolent Universe. I believe in good things and they are there for me. I AM realistic. I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!!!

I’ve worked toward manifesting this moment right here, right now. I’m my own boss, working my own hours, reporting to me. I’m my own employee of the month. This guy is truly moving onward and upward. I give me all kinds of praise and good reviews. Gotta keep that vibration up, though.

My Chairman of the Board. Taken from my mobile office/studio. I love this guy!

I’m so happy and grateful to be free from the corporate environment. If that’s your thing, great. You do that. Me? I’m my own boss. Technically still unemployed by the current socioeconomic cultural matrix standards, but that’s their label, not mine. I find things that are awesome about me.

It’s like finding inner peace on a whole new level. I set my own standards for success. I’m happy being me. It’s beautiful. There’s no one breathing down my neck. There are no performance “SMART” goals. No upper-middle-lower management clowns to bug me. No one setting standards they can’t meet themselves. My life is beautiful now that the greasy corporate mentality is all washed out of my system. I only get on my own case if I need to, and I’m learning to be more gentle with myself.

Teams? I’m it. It’s just me. The whole corporate team concept is broken. I’ve seen it fall apart or just plain fail for over 20 years now. You have a group of five to ten employees (sorry, “teammates” because we can’t just call people what they are) sitting around a table, forced to make small talk and participate in fakey fake team-building exercises that no one truly enjoys, and then one or two people end up doing any real work. It’s sad. I’m so happy and grateful to be a one man show.

I’m going to do a whole article on why the team thing doesn’t work. I’ve always had problems with it as a sociologist. It looks great on paper, but then you come out here in the real world and well, it looked great on paper.

Photo by Vinta Supply Co. | NYC on Pexels.com

I’m so happy and grateful to be free of “the trudge.” I report to me, on my time, and I love it! I know I say it a lot. Before I started working toward manifesting my dreams, it was a long, slow, painful, miserable, insufferable trudge toward the grave. Every day and night looked the same. Now every day- Every. Single. Day. is an adventure! Sometimes it’s just a nap with the cats or sitting on the couch while scarfing junk food and playing video games, but I’m allowed some free time. I’m excited to wake up in the morning. It’s genuine.

Time for my family is very important to me and I am grateful now that I have more of it. I missed out on over a decade with my three older boys while I was working nights. I’m happy to be free to take them to school, pick them up, and just spend some quiet time with them. I see more of my wife now. I’m happy to be supportive on the home front.

Time for my own health and sanity is so amazing now! I suffered so much at my last job, I mean truly suffered, that I put myself back in therapy. I’m still dealing with some psychological junk in the trunk, sure. I still have chronic pain, arthritis, fibromyalgia, and depression issues. Sure. that’s the tired old labels talking. Here’s the kicker- I’m healing. I don’t have to rush out the door after barely having enough time to eat, sleep, shower, and maybe wave at my family on the way by. I’m here to tell you, being free is its own reward.

I get to decide when I eat, work, even nap now. My wife is about the only person who gets to object to anything, and she’s pretty cool about my schedule most days. Thanks, Honey!

It might not make sense to a lot of people. Many do work weird rotating 4 x 12 hour nights or some other freaky calendar nightmare. We can still exchange knowing looks. Working oddball, non-nine-to-five hours really can take a toll on one’s sanity. I’m glad to be free. I’m still and always will be a Nocturnal American, though.

I’m looking at NaNoWriMo next month as a serious possibility. Pretty sure I can hit word counts and page goals per day and then some. It’s just so nice to be able to sit down and work on things without all the pressure. My wife might roll her eyes, but I can make it work. It’s ideal this year, really. You’ll know if I go quiet for all of November.

No longer getting up every day to put money in the pockets of people who don’t care about anyone else.

If I do anything now, it puts money in MY pocket. I love helping people out, sure. That’s what we’re here for. But the thing I’m absolutely loving more than words can tell is that I’m no longer subjected to artificial concepts like sales goals, target savings goals, and other artificial standards that all translate to putting money in some executive’s pockets. Seriously, why bust my hump every night, just so the company I’m working for can outsource everything from custodians to human resources in the name of saving money.

You know who profits from the toils of corporate employees? Corporate executives. These people are no different than anyone else except for the fact that they got a slap on the back and a handshake that put them in a corner office. We no longer live in a world where you work your way to the top from the ground floor. (Not sure if that ever really existed.) These managers and executives don’t care if one of their cubicle inmates works hard or knows what they’re doing. It’s all about the bottom line.

Here’s the kicker- Entrepreneurs worry about their own bottom line. That’s were I am today. That’s the threshold I’m presently standing on. It’s exciting! I’m a writer first and foremost now. The whole profits-before-people thing is dead to me now.

I encourage writers, artists, musicians, dancers and anyone else with a dream to shed the corporate grind and go have a free life. Yes. Be responsible. Take care of yourself and your family first. But beyond that? Please go on out and live your dream life!

Create the life you want to life!

Thank you for being here. Stay safe. See you again soon.

Drifting

Stuff happens. Yeah, maybe I “manifested” it. If I did, then I’ll own it. I’m a pro at making mistakes and fixing them. My wife can vouch for that. I have a dishwasher held together with loose screws and zip ties to prove it.

This will be a little different by way of a blog.

Some days…

Hey, it’s my blog. I’m going to be a little vulnerable. I know the mighty “they” say not to do what I’m about to do. They have hundreds or even thousands of followers. They have advertisers, sponsors, and maybe even “real” day jobs. The mythical they say “You shouldn’t post personal stuff on your blog if you’re trying to land a job.”

Well, what do they really know? I’m sitting here, still unemployed. Still trying to land a writing gig or something meaningful. I’m still looking for joy in, uh, well I won’t say all the “wrong” places. More like, I’m looking for joy anywhere I can find it, honestly.

I think some of the LoA gurus get it wrong.

It’s always the mantras of keep smiling, keep your vibration high, and chase away all the negative stuff. You have to clean all the mentally repressed junk in your trunk. You create bad days for yourself, so don’t create bad days for yourself. (That last one’s almost a verbatim quote, btw.)

Stuff happens. Yeah, maybe I “manifested” it. If I did, then I’ll own it. I’m a pro at making mistakes and fixing them. My wife can vouch for that. I have a dishwasher held together with loose screws and zip ties to prove it.

The all-knowing LoA experts will say I’m doing it all wrong. Do I always live in the dream fulfilled? Not necessarily. Do I practice my intentions every day and then forget them? I did that for a couple of years straight. Well, it landed me a third to half of what I wanted. Now I’m backed off from some of those intentions.

Or just have a dream.

I do intend to be prosperous.

Maybe not filthy stinking rich. Money in and of itself is a human construct, not a human value. Yes, I’d love to be a millionaire. But, more importantly, I’d like to make sure all the bills are paid. I’d like to be able to go out and buy that dishwasher that can accommodate a family of six. I’d love to go take a week and hide out in the north woods somewhere with no electricity or WiFi connections. But money only buys things that make me smile.

I think the last two letters in prosperous are the ones that matter. US. If we can’t all be share in the wealth, why are we knocking ourselves out earning it? I mean, I’m not embracing socialism or communism here. I’m just saying I want a flow of steady cash for my family first and foremost. I intend to have the bills paid and food in the fridge. I want to have some fun on the holidays and weekends.

Of course I’m not going about it the way they say to do it.

Them: You gotta get a job and work hard every day.
Me: Nope. Did that shit for 30 years so far and look where that landed me.

Them: You gotta show your employer you want to be there and earn your way to the top.
Me: See also 30+ years of their bullshit. Where did it get me? Hmm…

I’ve watched multiple companies go belly up. I’ve been fired a couple of times from jobs that were going to pieces anyway. I’ve spent countless hours of toil and brain sweat putting more money in other people’s pockets. Where’s that big promotion? Where’s my office? Yup. You guessed it. I’m here on my couch with a bum knee and a bad back.

Them: Don’t chase your dreams. Chase the almighty dollar. Plenty of time for hobbies after you retire.
Me: Screw that. I love my various pastimes now, but I do have a dream. Prosperity is part of that dream.

Them: You’ll never amount to anything. You’re too old, too fat, too poor too… (whatever.)
Me: Raises middle finger. You can say that, but we all know it’s false. I’m going to get where I want to be. I’m grateful for where I am and it’s only getting better.

I’ve kinda had the cruise control on lately.

Thank you!!!

I have you, if you’re here. Thank you. Otherwise, I have this lovely space in which to vent all sorts of things. I mean, why make my therapist do all the work, right?

I know a lot of folks probably read my blog because they’re “checking my socials.” Many are either potential employers making sure I’m not some subversive, conspiracy wackadoo, psycho, anti-corporate, pro-socialist something-or-other. And I know some are here waiting for me to say something negative about a certain former employer. (Big ole corporation’s scared I’m going to blow my top and say something serious about them. LOL!) Hopefully there are also a few genuine people in my audience. I’m super grateful if you are.

So, here we are. I’ve been very sporadic. Honestly, I hadn’t intended to go quite so deep with this one. I’ve been kinda floating lately. Not really stuck, just not moving toward anything specific. I’ve been cleaning the kitchen, taking kids to school, hanging out with the cats, and just generally taking care of myself. It’s not spectacular.

I feel like the breakthrough is there or here, even.

You see it all the time in the various LoA books and courses. Our beloved mentors start with stories like:

“I was sitting at my kitchen table barely able to pay rent for another month, when I got this idea.”
“I was selling women’s shoes at Blah Shoe Store in Los Angeles when…”
“I was dead broke and selling my book out of my girlfriend’s car when…”
“I was fired from 30 jobs in one year and decided to create my own life…”
“I was living in my grandma’s garage with all of my credit cards maxed out and I got inspired…”
And one of my personal favorites, “I had already earned a pile of money working in my parent’s restaurant when I invested in other things and…” (Is it really an LoA success story if you started out with money?)

The truly interesting thing to me is, I feel as if I’m in that kind of magical time frame right now. Sure, I have days when I’m ready to throw in the towel and go back to work for nigh onto minimum wage and work my way back up the career ladder. (In other words, bust my ass for someone else every day until I end up in the grave. Nothing but misery until the end.) But I also have plenty of days that I’m grateful for being alive, reasonably healthy, and my family is doing okay.

It’s not perfect. I’m not striving to control every little thought, every little thing from one minute to the next. I’m just living my life. Yeah, I’d love to be doing more. Sure, I’d love to wake up tomorrow and get hit with that million dollar idea lightning bolt or at least something helpful. It’s going to happen, mark my words. But I’d be happy just knowing there’s enough coming in to cover all the bills and do things that light me up.

When the focus becomes on the feeling of joy, the money in the bank is a side effect. Whatever I’m doing, I just want to have fun. I just want to enjoy it. If it becomes a grind, misery and suffering set in and who wants that?

Anyway, more writing to come in the days ahead. Thank you for listening this far. I am still looking to help someone out for a bit of spare cash if anyone would like some help. Stay safe. See you soon.

Any day now, Snoopy and I are going to be like…

HOPE-FULL

Please let me assure you. You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are talented. You are highly skilled. You have experience. You can learn. You are 100% more than any job in terms of your value. You are love and light.

I’m playing nice and omitted the name. It got a like because it gave me food for thought.

The last line of this post set me off!

Let’s go piece by piece, though. First, yes- getting laid off, fired or having your position change does royally suck. I’ve been there recently myself. (Still am if you’re reading this and would like to chat about writing jobs…)

Yes, a LOT of us are still in much the same boat. The Icky Cough-Coughs Scamdemic has cost a lot of small businesses their livelihood and made it easy for greasy corporate America to pull even more greasy weasel stuff. If people weren’t legitimately getting sick, you’d think the whole thing was some sort of economic ploy to make the rich and powerful even more rich and powerful.

So far this post sounds like your average upper management goob trying to sympathize with us “little people.” Maybe it’s sincere, or not. Everyone can use their own discernment. Then this post turns into straight-up garbage in my opinion.

Fact is, your next employer might be just as slimy as the one before…

I truly disagree with the person who said, “one company’s loss is another company’s gain.” It’s an awful cliché. Admittedly it is true, but for other reasons than what were listed. There’s really no telling what circumstances you are being hired under or if the interviewer is even being honest during the interview, assuming you ask questions at all. You don’t know what their agenda truly is, or if the last person was laid off, and they’re getting a new employee cheaper, with fewer benefits, or some other optimal measure strictly for the company. Ever wonder who you replaced? Or if this “newly created position” maybe came at the cost of other people’s jobs?

Yeah, your next employer might value your skills and experience. Or they might regard you as a convenience to cover two other positions that they merged. Or it’s entirely possible, especially in this day and age, that they’re just trying to fill seats or get names on a list for the corporate Mcheadhunters. Your skills may actually mean diddly.

And experience? Oh, let’s dissect that notion for a moment. The older I get, the more I’m discovering that is actually the LAST thing a lot of companies are looking for. Oh sure, they might say “3-5 years experience required” in the job ad. Because conveniently that’s what the person they’re already hiring from within had. Some job ads are literally posted as a formality to cover nepotism. It’s also conveniently about the length of a college degree plus internship, meaning they want to shape and mold some kid straight out of college.

For real, most companies cringe when they see us older guys and gals walk in the door. They can’t legally discriminate based on age, but… They dread what we’re going to bring to the table. No one, especially in the fancy Mc-corporate boardroom likes getting called out on their bullsh*t. The more “experience” a person has, especially in real life, the better a crap detector they’re going to be. Been there, done that.

Not to mention, more experience means we’re probably going to ask for more salary, better benefits, probably more time off. You know, all that stuff that most companies don’t want to hand out. “Oh, but you haven’t earned it yet” they’ll say. Meanwhile their little favorites are getting promotions, raises, and bennies all over the place regardless of skill or experience. Yeah… my “experience” is super valuable (to me.) Sorry. is my cynicism showing?

So far, this LinkedIn post is not cutting the mustard in the slightest.

For those who don’t know me, I’m very prone to calling out people on their crap. So far, I think this LinkedIn post is dripping with hyperbole. My response is pretty negative because I don’t think it’s fair to this person’s audience to be led down the primrose path. And I promise if I ever say anything quite so offensive or ignorant one of my readers can call me out on it and I will come clean. Okay, and I realize that this whole article is strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Truth is, I’ve had some really horrible experiences in the job market recently. Not only has my trust in any large company been completely eroded, but I have very little desire to be around people ever again, especially in an office environment. I have plenty of doubt about any of this post.

I’ve seen top-heavy companies go belly up. I’ve seen people who were so disconnected from their own employees that they didn’t realize the company was going under. I’ve seen multiple forms of reckless mismanagement of employees and funds. Sometimes the big money higher-ups just didn’t care. (I’m playing nice by not naming and shaming.) I’ve been in meetings where it was obvious to me what was going on around me, and who was going to get the ax and why (or at least the reason that would be given, true or not.) Again- experience does count, just not the misleading use of it above. Because people in charge tend to be full of toxic positivity and surrounded by ‘Yes’-people. They don’t want the voice of experience stepping in.

“Stay Motivated“

Okay, first part of this whole article that doesn’t make me want to scream. Yes, one should indeed stay motivated. Especially if one’s loss of livelihood was taken out of one’s own hands. But please, I implore you to take a look at where your motivation is directed!

What does the world need right now? Do you really want to be another highly skilled, experienced corporate drone? Are you living from one paycheck to the next working for people who in no way appreciate anything you do regardless of what drivel rolls out of their mouths?

The world needs more small businesses. The world needs more people creating their own businesses. The world needs YOU to be yourself! We need more grassroots, local, powerful efforts. We need artisans, writers, artists, musicians, entrepreneurs and people taking their act down their own path.

Last, but certainly not least.

This statement actually upsets me on multiple levels!

Now, normally this statement would be well-meaning? Maybe? I guess.

First objection: Who’s hopeless??? Am I hopeless because I’m unemployed? Middle finger goes up to that notion. Am I hopeless because corporate America rejected me? Other middle finger goes up especially to that notion. Never give into the lack mentality.

Truth: YOU’RE NEVER HOPELESS!!!

You ALWAYS have a choice. You can choose abundance. You can choose joy. You can choose to tell people who say you’re hopeless where to stuff it. Never let some clown, especially on LinkedIn, assume your value. You are a being of love and light having a human experience. Your value never diminishes. Trust me, no company will ever value you as much as you value yourself.

Second objection: “Hope.” You don’t need hope. There’s this neat thing called the Law of Attraction. All hope gets you is more hope. You can hope all day. You attract what you are. Live in the dream fulfilled. You don’t have to hope. It’s already there. Everything you need already exists. Be realistic. Believe in miracles. Great things can happen for you.

Second truth: Be grateful. You live in a benevolent and loving Universe. There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. I’m so happy and grateful just for being here with you. Just for being alive on this planet right now. I’m so very grateful for my readers.

Third truth: If someone laid you off, fired you, or cut your position, it’s an opportunity to expand. The Universe/God/Source has handed you an opportunity to expand. Take it and run! Make the best of it. There are so many things a person can do in between jobs, it’s ridiculous. I find more and more things every day.

Take a walk. Breathe fresh air. Take a nap. Finish that book you’ve been reading. Write, paint, sing, play an instrument, or find some other creative endeavor you’ve always wanted to do. Learn new skills. Life is not all about pounding the pavement looking for a job that you can grind on every day until retirement and eventually death. There is more to life than just feeding the bill collectors.

Fourth truth: You have to take care of you. No employer I have ever encountered ever gave a rip about my health or sanity. Most managers or bosses are only concerned for their profit margin. Oftentimes, it’s their own personal profit margin. There are plenty of businesses that will happily work someone into the ground for as little as they can get away with. Value yourself by taking care of yourself and your loved ones.

Last objection: Look at the hashtags after all the diatribe. “Best Job Strategy” my ass. That strategy looks a lot like “Sell yourself to the corporate overlords.” There’s no strategy to being treated like dirt. I’m sorry, but there is so much more to life than just sleep, eat, work, repeat until dead.

Last truth for now: Please let me assure you. You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are talented. You are highly skilled. You have experience. You can learn. You are 100% more than any job in terms of your value. You are love and light.

Seek out joy, abundance, love, and prosperity. Find or become an entrepreneur. Help out a small company, independent retailer, or local business. Embrace humanity. Embrace what lights you up.

Thank you for reading this. I appreciate your support. Take care.

The Work Ethic

I’m starting to sound like the LoA and spiritual folk that I used to rail so hard against just a few short years ago. The ones who regularly encouraged people to quit their jobs? Ya know, those people? I used to go off on them. Now I just want to give everyone a hug and thank them for their patience.

Coming up on a month off work. It’s been interesting. I’m not panicked like I would be normally.

To be brutally honest, I’m not in a hurry to get back to the regular 9-5 grind. Yes, it goes against the stereotypical midwestern Iowa work ethic. No, I’m really not too worried about it.

For the first time ever, I’m going against the grain of the old tried-and-true paradigm of “You gotta work hard every day if you want to succeed in life.”

That tired and blue, worn out, broken old paradigm just needs to be put out to pasture somewhere because it’s bullshit. Pretty sure a bunch of my extended family are rolling over in the grave fast enough to warm the ground above them now. But it’s true. Yes, I know how it sounds.

But here’s why: We were put on this 3D Earth to experience life, not grind away on the same tired old redundant stuff one day after the next until we finally die. Oh, and make sure to get married and have a family as to best pass on the redundant boredom.

Someone is probably saying, “But that’s just lazy. Stop and smell the flowers for a minute and get back to work, deadbeat.”

Please do what you need to do to stay in abundance. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Umm… No. I’m going to avoid going back to a 9-5 day job for as long as I freakin can. (My wife will likely have a conniption of some sort if she reads this. Sorry, Hon.) I just can’t see forcing myself into that old work-a-day grind at this point.

I’m starting to sound like the LoA and spiritual folk that I used to rail so hard against just a few short years ago. The ones who regularly encouraged people to quit their jobs? Ya know, those people? I used to go off on them. Now I just want to give everyone a hug and thank them for their patience.

I always have to add the caveat that if you’re working 9-5 at a job you’re happy in, that’s great for you. Please continue doing so. Yes, make responsible life decisions. Please take care of your family and loved ones the best you can. That’s awesome. Definitely keep that up.

Sounds like I’m becoming a deadbeat communist hippie or something. I still have a family to support. I’m not giving up on business and commerce completely. I just don’t want to go about it in the traditional way. And no, I don’t 100% beyond a doubt have a plan laid out just yet. I just know that the old ways are not for me.

I think a lot of creative people hit the point I’ve reached recently.

I’ve read a lot of work from various entrepreneurs, creatives and self starters with a common theme. In fact, it’s the one I’ve already shared. They got tired of the old paradigm. They got tired of the old 9-5 trap and were not satisfied with it. They started to groove to their own jams. They checked out of the old system. That’s where I strongly feel I am right now. That pinnacle moment where the old has to go and the new needs to be ushered in.

It’s not even that I don’t want to “work hard.”

I will sorta go back on something I said earlier. I want to work hard.

BUT… not just to put more money in someone else’s pockets. Especially not the pockets of some big, slimy, greedy, money-grubbing corporate McShmucks. Never again. Ever. They don’t deserve the time of day. Sorry if I offend.

I mean, I’ll bend over backwards for myself, my family, my clients (if I’m ever so blessed,) even strangers if they need some help. But I’ll be damned if I’m ever going to grind away day after dragging day ever again. If I’m not enthusiastic about what I’m doing, if I have to put on my “game face” just to go to work in the morning- I’m not doing it.

Do I hate money and those who have it?

Yeah. Hi.

Hello. Have we met? If you’ve been reading my blog, you already know what I’m going to say about that. If this is your first time here, welcome. If you’re just scanning my posts looking for something to hold against me, this is a good time to question your ethical compass and why you’re really reading this.

I love money! I love the things it can do for me. I want to feed and educate my kids, keep the lights on, keep my laptop and phone somewhat up to date. I love clothes, books, polyhedral dice and trips. At the beginning I did say we’re here to experience life. Money helps with that. Yay!

And I never begrudge anyone for making money. If you’re the CEO of Giant McMegacorp, good for you. Glad you got where you are. Hope that’s working out well. If you’re a multi-millionaire investor in real estate or some other high finance operation, good for you!

Now, I will say, somewhat contradictorily, that I will take issue if you treat people like dirt. If you’re filthy stinking rich of the blood and tears of others and continue to act like a dictatorial turd, then I will call you out. If you regularly treat your employees like crap and blame them for your perceived failings, we have issues. If your workplace is giving the appearance of thriving on toxic positivity and other ultimately destructive practices, I will shame you to the Nth degree possible.

But even on my worst day since learning about prosperity and the Law of Attraction, have I ever said, “Grr, rich people are bad.”

I mean, for crying out loud. I want to be rich. I’m just going to be super fussy about how I go about it. Believe me, I have an ethical code. Actually, it’s fairly strict. If I can’t go about something the way I think it should be done, I just won’t go about it.

Photo by David McBee on Pexels.com

“You just don’t know how to handle money, so you could never be rich.“

Bet me. Give me a million or even two million dollars and I’ll put it to work for both of us. Just because I’m not a millionaire now, doesn’t mean I can’t think like one. I’ve done the mindset work. I get what needs to be done. I’ll be grateful and overjoyed for every cent I have every day in every way.

Younger me did not understand a lot of the things I understand today. That’s my answer to why I haven’t done it already. If I had known then what I know how, this would be a different conversation entirely. Hearing abundance LoA talk from a millionaire is a lot different from hearing it coming from me today.

My plan is to take care of basic needs, build, grow, and be as loving and charitable in between as humanly possible. I truly want to give to people, communities, and family as much as possible. My ego is out to prove it can be done with a vengeance. The rest of me just desires peace and prosperity above all else.

Until next time, keep looking up. Be good to one another. Take care.

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