Tag: @lauradibenedetto

Freedom Day! 11th Month Edition

Our continuing mission to seek out new opportunities, new wealth and prosperity has hit yet more snags. I’ve been off work for 11 months with no prospects for gainful employment in sight. The government is not helping yet or possibly at all. The bills are starting to creep up.

Captain’s Log. Stardate: 6.19.2022.

Our continuing mission to seek out new opportunities, new wealth and prosperity has hit yet more snags. I’ve been off work for 11 months with no prospects for gainful employment in sight. The government is not helping yet or possibly at all. The bills are starting to creep up.

A family of six surviving on one paycheck in this day and age looks pretty grim. Law of Attraction aficionados would say I chose this. Lord knows I have plenty of reasons to be down these days. Guess I’m choosing depression, too. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could just bury my head in the sand and just pretend things were going to improve.

Site engagement has been up.

THANK YOU!

One silver lining this month has been engagement on this site. I saw a couple of beautiful spikes in views earlier this month. Wow! If you’re here, thank you! I appreciate you stopping by.

A lot of the feedback I’ve received from sources such as #ttrpg Twitter has been extremely positive. I’m still somewhat new to blogging and it makes my heart flutter a bit when I hear a compliment. Thank you! Of course, more site traffic isn’t a sign of positive or negative opinions, but I’ll take the up-tick in views. Thank you!

Then there’s a ton of stuff that doesn’t make much sense yet.

I regularly mull over what I’m doing right in terms of writing, parenting, husbanding, adulting, etc. There’s never a super clear answer to any of my questions. It’s not like life comes with a user’s manual. Kinda wish it did some days. (Like, the ones ending in “y.”)

I keep wondering about how to best monetize myself in the roleplaying game market. Kickstarter? Patreon? Maybe just put stuff on Ko-Fi? I’m not sure I’m ready for DriveThruRPG just yet. That would require a finished larger product.

Someone recently mentioned trying out Fiverr. (Coming Soon!) I have often considered doing piece work, short articles, and social media posts. The same wonderful person mentioned possibly doing some ghostwriting or editing. Terrifying, which is why I’m looking into it.

Then again, am I really supposed to be in the RPG market at all? What about writing a novel? (Not as easy as it sounds, btw.) What about life coaching? (LOL! Not sure if I should be coaching or finding one.) What about becoming some sort of spiritual teacher? (*Don’t worry. Andey Fellowes and others would talk me down off that ledge.) What about a self help book? (Uh… 😐)

Figured out what I’m not doing.

That list goes on forever. The most obvious ones include finding another dispatching job. No thanks PTSD. Not today.

Scrubbing floors is right out. Even if my back and pain levels could tolerate it, my wife would likely shoot me. The hours for that kind of work are not worth the pay and effort involved.

Iowa Workforce Development. There’s a reason I’m no longer looking for a job in this state. They were more than happy to help as long as I wasn’t neurodivergent, in pain, and happy to throw my college degree out the window. Iowa needs dental hygienists and welders. Just don’t come around here being one of those sinister teacher types. (*Love you, wife.)

I’m too old and out of shape for retail, restaurants, factories, and office jobs. I have too many values and principles to ever do sales, especially over the phone. Call center jobs tend to become very stressful and triggering about five minutes in. I don’t even think Wal Mart would take me as a door greeter at this point.

In fact, screw working for any kind of big company or corporation ever again. Even if all the corporate culture head trash didn’t make me want to vomit, I’m pretty sure any review I receive is going to trigger me all over the place. That’s assuming we get that far. “Let’s have a meeting” would be followed by me coming completely unglued on someone. No thanks.

Bring my Garden Weasel to work day?

A brilliant and beautiful soul put me onto some new avenues of abundance.

Laura is the best!

I can always count on my friend Laura DiBenedetto to set me straight. She recently clued me into a couple of new avenues to abundance. I’m working on it, but it’s taking a little time. More on that as it develops.

I also continue to practice the skills I learned from The Six Habits. Laura’s book legitimately can and will change your life if you work with it. I may still get down sometimes (depression sucks!) but it’s an ongoing process, much like spiritual awakening.

The human brain creates channels of memory like lava carving its way down the side of a volcano. Practice a habit for 21 days and you can change the channel. Brain cells that fire together wire together. Neuroplasticity can modify those channels to improve your life. Look up Hebb’s Law. A constant practice of Kindness, Acceptance, Gratitude, Presence, Goodness and Intention will yield positive results given enough practice.

I’ve been back into the book lately, myself. Sometimes we get out of practice on certain things. It’s good to go back to basics and remember why we came here.

Gratitude is key.

Okay. I’ll buy that one. I’m so happy and grateful I have a roof over my head and a food on my plate. I’m grateful for all of the wonderful things I have in life. I’m grateful for my family’s health. I’m super extra grateful for my wife’s job. I’m super happy and grateful when I find loose change on the street, too. I’m grateful I met Laura, too.

Gonna go off now…

I’d like to say I’m grateful I got canned from that last gig. Look at all the stuff that’s teaching me. I’m grateful to be walking around with not-two-shits to give about anyone working for a large corporation or what they have to say. I’m grateful Iowa Workforce Development was more than happy to help as long as I did exactly what they wanted me to do. I’m extra grateful the government keeps denying my disability because I love being f’kn broke all the time. I’m grateful every time I log into LinkedIn to find out some other scamtastic pile of refuse has viewed my profile, because it reminds me I’m glad I gave up that damn job search crap months ago.

I know I have some things working against me every day.

Silly “Old Grognard” photo

First up, my age. I turn the big 50 in ten days. Even if I wasn’t long in the beard and bald as a cue ball, my birth certificate does not lie. I could shave tomorrow, but I know in my heart of hearts it will do me no good.

But what does that mean? Why is that so bad? Well, first off, employers really don’t want to see me walk in the door because they know I’m old enough not to take any sh*t that they hand out to the younger new guys.

On every given day, especially now that I’m officially “old,” my health comes into question. Which, I know how much they cringe with FMLA comes up. I literally have no choice but to mention it nowadays. I’m happy to be functional three days out of five most of the time.

My back and my pain tolerance make it pretty hard to do a lot of those fun repetitive motion tasks like mopping floors, scrubbing toilets, running a cash register, stocking shelves, standing all day, and a lot of other things y’all youngins take for granted. In fact, writing is one of the few things I can enjoy doing while sitting down from the comfort of my couch. (Too bad it doesn’t pay better, but we’re working on it.)

As bitterly annoyed as I am becoming toward certain entities, one fact remains prevalent.

No clue wtf I’m doing any more.

I have a family to take care of. That hurts on so many levels I can’t even describe them all. I’m very grateful my wife is taking care of all of us. That’s super.

Sorry, kids. Dad’s kind of a deadbeat. Seriously, I know how it looks. I wish I could provide more. I so desperately want to give more financially. And I live here. Your mom and I are still married somehow.

So, yeah. 11 months into this sh*tshow and I still have more questions than answers. I’m still wrestling with finding myself, accepting my own inadequacies, and fumbling around with what to do. I’m still unable to rub two shince together and have not two sh*ts left to give some days. Improvements are hopefully on the way soon.

Thanks for being here, one and all. I would have liked to have glowing things to say, but it’s been another r month. Onward and upward, I suppose.


Massive Shout Out!

Please don’t just take my word for it! Please go check out her website. I know I sound biased. She’s a world class coach, professional, CEO, and TEDx speaker among other accolades. She’s done so much and helped many people find joy.

Thank you, Laura DiBenedetto!

Not just a friend, but a force of nature!

Almost out of the blue yesterday, I received a couple of LinkedIn notifications. One was a message from Laura and the other was a comment on one of my blog slugs on LinkedIn. I had commented in that article about wanting to make more money and how I’m a bit stymied at present.

Well, long story short, my very good friend Laura put me onto a couple of ideas that I will be developing further in the coming weeks. I want to expand at my own pace in a way that makes sense for me, but at the same time builds up some financial success for my family.

I’m so ridiculously grateful to know Laura and have had the privilege to work for her a little bit. She’s generous to a fault. She’s always been very helpful. There’s no encouragement like Laura’s. And let’s mention jaw-dropping, heart stopping motivation. Seriously, I get all teary-eyed and speechless.

She’s also honest when needed. I can always count on her to make me face reality and set me straight when I’m all over the place. A more true friend I’m not sure I could ask for in this world and I don’t have that many.

I can’t mention Laura without mentioning The Six Habits.

This book can change your life!

LauraDiBenedetto.com
Please don’t just take my word for it! Please go check out her website. I know I sound biased. She’s a world class coach, professional, CEO, and TEDx speaker among other accolades. She’s done so much and helped many people find joy.

I first discovered Laura on Instagram. Her posts are always off the charts cool. I learned a LOT about life, success, joy and spirituality from her. She’s incredibly wise and still learning. As a side note, she’s the only person I know who retired at 37 years young and then got pulled back into a leadership role many times over.

No, it’s not a cult. Just want to put that out there. I know my recent encounters with Andey Fellowes made me really consider that notion and Laura doesn’t tick those boxes. No worries. She’s one of the good ones.

I have, however, discovered many other amazing folks on Instagram as a result. I’ll shout some of those fine folks out in a future article. Laura has a fantastic circle of friends and is so helpful when it comes to networking!

One thing will always blow my mind when it comes to Laura.

She’s very high class. Like, we’re talking she can hang with people who make six digits or more per year. She’s rock star/Hollywood celebrity caliber. (Ammunition pun intended. See one of her newest ventures.) I so totally admire this lady and would gladly follow in her footsteps were that an option.

Alas, I follow in my own footsteps. I can aspire to my own greatness. I owe her that much. Honestly, I’m not sure how the heck I made it from 2019-Present without The Six Habits and some encouragement of my friend. She would likely say that’s the best any of us can do is carve out our own path and find joy for ourselves.

What still blows my mind is the notion that she’s so classy and high powered but still somehow manages to find the time to chat with lil old me out of the blue. Like, wow. Just… wow.

I can’t thank you enough.

THANK YOU, LAURA!

I still contend I owe you like, uh. Okay I lost count. A LOT, okay. I owe you big time! Thanks for being so awesome!

And thank all of you for stopping by. Lots of love and aloha as my friend would say. I appreciate you. More to come.

Anxiety and How I Beat It Back

What’s the BEST that can happen?

Kind of a personal share today.

My chest is getting a bit tight just thinking about all this. Breathe…

I’m working on a couple of projects that I’m very excited about or at least I should be. I’m sworn to secrecy, so I can’t say what they are, but they’re very important to me. It’s also very exciting.

That’s all fine and well, but the old sinking feelings set in. I start asking all the wrong questions in my head. What if I fail? What if I miss my deadline? What if no one likes it? What if my wife gets on me for spending more time on this than housework or finding a “real” job. What if I’m successful? Ooh pressure… What if there’s criticism? See also all of my personal PTSD triggers…

If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled up under my desk.

Procrastination sets in. I start spending way more time on social media. I play Diablo 3 like it’s going out of style. I do housework until my body says “no more.” The cats are avoiding me because of too many snuggles. Time to be my own therapist for a change. None of this pattern is new to me. Time to break the cycle.

What’s the BEST that can happen?

The worst case scenario has had enough time in the limelight to last me a lifetime. I took Public Relations in college. I know how it works. But I’m done with thinking about what could go wrong. Let’s project what it looks like when things go right.

  • Use positive affirmations to build confidence back up. If nothing else, I am okay.
  • Speak it into existence with gratitude for what will happen. “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a successfully published RPG writer.”
  • Take inspired action. Don’t let those good ideas sit on the shelf.
  • “Lean into the suck.” (Thanks Laura DiBenedetto!) More on that below.
  • False Evidence Appearing Real. Let the demons go on a diet. No more fear.
  • Stay calm. Relax. Breathe. Stay present in the moment. Every now moment.
  • Get knocked down 99 times. Stand up 100 times. Failure is part of the process.
  • Do not compare oneself to the images on social media. The grass is always greener in someone else’s front yard.
  • Finally, criticism is also part of the process. Trust that it isn’t personal. Learn. Grow from it. Keep going with the knowledge that change and growth go hand in hand.

A good friend of mine once said, “Lean into the suck.”

Yes, there’s stress. But…

Yes, there’s going to be stress. It’s part of the process. Yes, there are challenges to overcome. If it were totally easy, someone else would have done it by now. Sometimes, you just have to push through all the fear, stress, concerns and challenges to come out on top in that place of gratitude. Even Elon Musk and Jeff Besos have off days and problems to solve.

Inspired action is still action and sometimes that comes with more challenges (or consequences.) I know I have to step out of my comfort zone. I have to reach for those goals. They’re not just going to happen magically while I sit on my couch and meditate. (Yay meditation, but still…)

Yeah, sometimes things are going to suck. There are setbacks. They’re not permanent. Hold my Dr Pepper. I got this.

I have to constantly remind myself I am NOT my feelings.

Sure, I have feelings. (My man card is burning. LOL!) The thing we tend to forget is that we choose our feelings. I’m not in any imminent danger of being eaten by a bear, so I can choose something besides stress.

Yeah, criticism is likely. But my editor is human. I’m still going to put my best foot forward and do my utmost to meet deadline. If it’s not perfect, we’ll figure it out together.

I am not my diagnosis of PTSD, ADHD, depression, anxiety disorder or anything else psychology labels me as having. I am capable of staying positive and present. I can do this. I’ve got this.

Thanks for bearing with me on a personal share. Sometimes I just need to put it down in words to feel my way through things. The interweb is my vision board.

I am so grateful for all of you. Be back soon.

If you’re interested in more life changing suggestions for personal growth, you can check out The Six Habits by Laura DiBenedetto. This book and its author have helped me so much these last three years.

Please Hire Me

I’m looking for work, like nothing I’ve ever done before. Please let me know if you need help. Looking to work from home, maybe do some writing.

Bitmoji image of me that says Please Hire me?
This is a fairly straightforward article today.

This is the most honest and impassioned plea I can put forward.

What can I do for you?
– Web Design
– Copy writing
– Research
– Promote your business or services
– Write reviews of your book, product or service.
– Anything else online within reason and legality.
– Heck, if you live close enough, I’ll walk your dog.

If you have suggestions for other enterprises, I’m all ears, within reason. I’m pretty flexible as long as there’s some sort of legitimate, real pay attached to it. Extremely reasonable rates.

I’m ready for a change.

This wouldn’t be my blog if I wasn’t going somewhere with this.

Sure, I have a résumé. I’ll even send it to you if you’re a potential employer and you want to see it badly enough. BUT, it doesn’t say much about me in the context of what I’m moving into.

It won’t tell you that I have a highly creative mind. My résumé doesn’t speak to my passions or what I truly enjoy doing. Why not? Because I’ve almost never gotten to branch out that far in the past. All that document really shows is the human doing, not the human being. I’m more than just a sum of my pieces and parts.

That man on my résumé was pre-spirituality, pre-personal development, pre-light-code-activation, and not the guy I am today. Yay, I worked all these jobs that don’t represent who I am now- who I’ve become. I love that guy to pieces, but he’s evolving. I’m here and I’m ready for something more.

This poor ole blog gets used to vent a lot of stuff.

If you’re here from somewhere else in interweb land, I write about a lot of stuff. Sometimes I get a little heated, emotional, or even triggered. I maybe don’t always use all the proper punctuation, grammar, or spelling. I do use a lot of Bitmoji art, Pexels royalty-free images and pictures of my cats. I work with what I’ve got. My blog, like me, is evolving every day. I learn as I go and build on what came before.

What I need right now more than money:

A very close friend of mine once reminded me that money is not a value in life. (Thanks, Laura!!!) Yeah, it buys awesome stuff that makes me smile. It puts my kids through school and pays for vacations. I mean, yay money, but right now I need something more.

I’m looking for things that bring me joy. I want to do work that I’m passionate about. I want to do something that matters. Sure, I could flip burgers or sell magazines over the phone, but that’s not my thing. If it’s your thing, great. But I’m looking to make more of a difference.

I have a few of close friends and family along with about 500 bunnies I met on the Internet.

I’m not perfect. My biggest hurdle at the moment is that I don’t have any references. I am literally a WYSIWYG human right now. In other words, if you hire me, you’re hiring me on good faith that I will do the best I can for you. That’s tough, but I have to start somewhere.

I have met some wonderful friends on Instagram and even YouTube, but unfortunately, years of being nocturnal have taken their toll. The number of people I keep in touch with out in the “real” world are very few and far between. Certainly no one I’ve worked with even recently can vouch for me, nor would I ask. I’m not the same person I was twenty years ago, five years ago, even last year at this time. Please get to know me in the now, not the then.

Really.

Thank you if you made it this far. I appreciate your support wholeheartedly. I can’t do it without you. Take care. See you next time.

Staying in Abundance

Humanity and I are going to keep on striving for a better day tomorrow and the day after.

It’s easy to slip back into a lack mentality, especially when times get tough.

A lot of Law of Attraction gurus have covered this, so I won’t go overboard explaining every nuance, but this came up in my life recently. It’s almost a daily occurrence right now in my own mind, though. Adapting to new life circumstances or we’ll say different now moments has been a challenge at times.

How do you keep up the mental walls of positive thinking when it looks like everything has fallen apart? Some would put it more pragmatically and say, “face reality,” but I find reality as we understand it to be a very fluid concept. It’s almost like a line from Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” I’ve been presented with a grand opportunity, and I’m super determined not to let it slip away. Or to quote Eminem, “You’ve got to lose yourself in this music, this moment… You only get one shot. This is your chance blow…”

Only this is Craigmile, not 8 Mile. Opportunity is infinite like everything else in the Universe. It’s another cliché, but when one door closes, another opens. I believe Source is constantly testing to see what we’re ready for, then presenting it, then challenging, and so on ad infinitum. It’s a constant cycle of sureness. Sometimes it appears as adversity. Other times it appears as triumph.

Aren’t we just lying to ourselves? Spiritually bypassing?

The Six Habits

Laughably, no. And allow me to elaborate. I find there are a few keys to coping with a change in circumstances without bogging down into that old lack mentality. My three favorites are acceptance, gratitude, and presence. And if this sounds like Laura Dibenedetto’s The Six Habits, you’re absolutely correct. BUT… It’s also taken from other brilliant minds such as Alan Watts, Bob Proctor, Jake Ducey, Sri Akarshana, Aaron Doughty, Ralph Smart, Abraham Hicks, and so many more.

If I were bypassing, I could just bury my head in the sand and try to meditate my way out of this whole situation. Instead, I’ve chosen accept the things I cannot change. I have recited the Serenity Prayer over and over during the last two weeks. One thing I’ve noticed people tend to forget, however is we live in a Universe where there are no victims. Yes, it’s hard to swallow, but everything is a matter of choices. My choices are going to lead me to better and better places.

Mentally, it’s hard for the ego to let go of the “this sucks” notion. It can leave one ranting like an insane person, walking about the house muttering, arguing with oneself about circumstances vs ideals. Without bypassing, being delusional, you have to live in the present as if it were the ideal that you desire. I think it was Alan Watts that talked about being homeless, but mentally constructing your mansion as if you were living there. You have to know every detail as if you were remembering it. Scripting is important, but so are intent and action.

How do you keep from letting your circumstances get to you?

It’s easy to say, “This sucks. I can’t cope. It’s so unfair that -blah- happened.” Instead of complaining and hating on circumstances, I find it easier to focus on the things we have to be grateful for. Now, my list literally grows by the day, some old favorites and some new items. I am happy to be free. I am overjoyed to be my own boss. I am so happy and grateful I finally have some real time on my hands to do some writing. I am so happy and grateful people are reading this right now. I’m grateful I get to be here with Gaia right now. The list can just go on and on…

I am happy and grateful I still have a roof over my head, good food to eat, and my family is happy and healthy. Truthfully, if that’s all I ever manage to manifest in my life, that is awesome. That’s not to brag, either. Plenty of people out there are hurting in one of those categories of more. But humanity and I are going to keep on striving for a better day tomorrow and the day after. It’s not always easy, but it’s always manageable. My advice if you’re struggling- believe in your heart of hearts that it’s going to get better.

I don’t drink alcohol, smoke anything, vape anything, do “recreational drugs” or anything else to try to escape. If I had to pick a soothing behavior, it would be video games and even that is becoming more manageable by the day. My other main hobby is tabletop role-playing games, but that is becoming more of a side hustle and possibly my main hustle eventually.

But if I’ve learned anything over the past few years of taking in LoA teachings on a daily basis, it’s that I never have to completely trudge around in the muck. Sure, there are things I’m going to do, maybe not today, but eventually. My wife and I discuss the grocery budget almost every day. Our kids drink milk like little calicos in June around here. We’d love to eat out more. But we’re going to make due with what we have whether it’s a little or a lot. I’m leaning toward a lot. We’re going to make it happen.

What keeps you focused?

There are two things I’d like to attribute to my success and sometimes failures with LoA. The first is mindset. It took a very long time to rewire my brain. (Somewhere I hear Jake Ducey and a couple of other folks laughing at me.) But it’s so true. You have to turn that minus – into a plus + every day. That line in the middle of the plus sign goes from the bottom up. Sure, I have negative thoughts. It’s gonna happen. The faster you catch it and wire in something more positive, the better.

Some people like to do it subliminally or through hypnosis. I’ve done some of that myself. It works, but you also have to believe. Taking time every day to script either in writing, verbally or even just as a regular thought exercise might seem silly and tedious in the short run, but over days and weeks, it starts to sink in. Daily affirmations do help quite a bit.

Sure, I still get triggered by something silly or take a hit to my self esteem occasionally. The most important thing is not to dwell on it for too long. Psychology plays a major role in spirituality and LoA. We all argue with that little voice in the back of our minds from time to time. It’s called an ego. It’s there to protect us. It can be a big helper when you need it. Other times, you just have to tell the little bugger to sit down and shut up. Sometimes your heart, your gut, and your third eye will get you places that obnoxious ego won’t get you to.

Yes, I DO recommend meditation.

Photo by Felipe Borges on Pexels.com

The best way to be in the presence of God is to pray or meditate every day. I sometimes do both and then some. Regardless of your religious beliefs or practices, just sitting in silence for a few minutes every day can really help you reign in your focus.

I can’t stress enough that it’s not hard. When I meditate, I don’t have any special pose or seated position beyond sitting down, eyes closed, no distractions, palms up (but that’s personal to me.) Relax, be in stillness, and let go of your thoughts for a while. Don’t worry. Don’t think about anything. Just BE. Even if it’s just sitting outside for 10 minutes and observing nature. Some people meditate while walking.

Shaolin monks take it to the extreme in a way. I remember one student saying “Everything we do is meditation. When we punch, we are doing punching meditation. When we kick, we are doing kicking meditation.” Singular focus is key. Pretty soon, if you practice mindfulness long enough, you start picking up on patterns and seeing the world in a whole new light.

Eckhart Tolle explains that meditation itself is not about doing something. It is simply a matter of BE-ing. You have to train your mind to rest and just let the Universe flow though you. That’s when you are in presence the most. There is no trick, posture, pose or plan to get there. It’s a state of being, but does it ever help with the rest of the day.

So, <POOF> I meditated and it’s all better?

Alas, it is not all about meditation. Seriously, if it were that easy to cast a money spell just through meditation, wouldn’t we all do it? Zero point energy, wealth, food and well being for every creature on Earth would have happened a thousand times over and we wouldn’t need to be here if it were that easy. This is the hardest part of LoA for both myself and most people- you have to take what is called, “Inspired Action.” When opportunities present themselves, and they often do, you have to be ready to pounce. For example, if you get offered a new job, and your gut says “yes,” then you have to pounce on it.

I look for new and more opportunities all the time. Being more present and mindful will help you see that when it comes up. In kinda New Age terms you’re collecting your energy and focusing it on that which you intend and the proper time to make it happen. Again, not as easy as it sounds. Ever see a Shaolin monk punch something? Punching meditation. He’s literally pulling energy from the Universe and channeling it through his fist and through the target. It’s all one motion for them.

On a final note, I believe in second, third, and more chances. We ultimately live in a kind, loving Universe. We are beings of love and light. God does not exist to punish us. In my opinion, the Kingdom of Heaven is truly within. If you screw up, like I do, The Universe will put something else in your path. You will attract something new, possibly better than you would have expected.

In the end, the most important thing you can manifest on this Earth is joy. It’s also the easiest. Find one thing to smile about. Find something, even if it’s small, to take some happiness in. Even if you’ve been standing in swamp water up to your chest for two and a half days, as long as you find something to laugh about, you’re going to be okay. Love? Be happy for yourself and your partner. Money? Be happy for however much you have and you’re going to have. Career? Be happy you get to go to work every day in a place you want to be in.

Til next time, stay safe and smile!

Freeeedom!!!

Being free of the shackles of 9-5 corporate America has been one of the most positive experiences of my life.

Living the dream.

This whole being my own boss thing has been amazing so far! It’s been peaceful, quiet, and very relaxing. Authenticity has been so much easier. My anxiety has been at an all time low. I haven’t spent this much time with my family since the pandemic broke out. I have no complaints thus far.

Are there challenges?

Yes, absolutely. My wife would prefer I look for a regular, conventional job. >cringe< I’m exploring options to keep being my own boss and doing my own thing. Yeah, I’m still putting out resumes here and there. I haven’t had a lot of bites and that’s okay.

Also, full personal disclosure, I’ve been feeling the chilly bite of depression here and there for whatever reason. But hey, “shadow work” is how we grow. I knew it was coming and I’ve been dealing with it using all the tools I’ve learned along the way. It’s actually been a bit easier when not coupled with anxiety and frustration.

Flipping to a day schedule has been probably the hardest part. I honestly don’t remember the last time I rose in the morning and slept at night. Still working on that second half. I meditate. I nap. I’m awake at some pretty oddball hours yet. I don’t mind.

Oh, and the ever-present challenge of working from home, which makes me giggle with glee. My wife wiped out drawer in the kitchen. Oh noes… And occasionally one of the cats will hork up a furball or one of the kids needs a bike tire repair or something. Nothing to get excited about.

What do I enjoy?

Like, besides everything right now? Lol! well, maybe not everything. But darned close.

I have an affirmation on my desk that says, “I am my own best boss and favorite employee.” It’s true. I have another one that says, “I choose to be my best self.” I feel liberated.

If you’re working for some big, nameless, faceless, uncaring, unfeeling corporation but you’re happy? Great. I’m happy for you. Me? I NEVER want to go back to that environment. A friend on Instagram mentioned she’d recently gotten out of the fast food industry. I practically celebrated for her! Hallelujah!!!

I want to help people. I intend for my message someday to reach a million people or more. It is possible to be happy! I’ll just as gladly help one extraterrestrial contactee/experiencer at a time. I’ll help build you a website for dirt cheap. I don’t think authors are making heaps of money these days. But at least it’s interpersonal and not ultra professional.

Am I saying people should run out and quit their corporate jobs?

No. I will say I wish I had done so a very long time ago. I used to call out and mock certain well known LoA gurus who talked about that. What I will say, is be responsible for yourself and your family. I would not have made it this far without the love and support of my wife. I have every ounce of faith that I’m going to pay her back.

That having been said, I’m not going back to a corporation probably ever. Not my cup of tea. If it’s your thing? Great. Enjoy that. Really. Personally, I’d rather dip a paper cut in boiling, concentrated lemon juice while being waterboarded during a police interrogation on Christmas morning than go back to work for any large company ever again.

I have so much gratitude.

I have to thank so many people. I’ll be dropping Instagram posts and emails for some of them. Every night, I thank Gaia, Source, my Higher Self, my Family of Light, the Ascended Masters, my Earthly Teachers, my human family, my three fur children and my readers. I’m grateful just for being here and for the wealth/prosperity that flows into our lives endlessly, effortlessly and copiously every day. I’d also like to shout out @lauradibenedetto because she has helped me to get where I am now. Thanks all!!!

Struggling to Stay Positive

Neuroscience has taught us you can begin to retrain your subconscious mind with more positive, powerful and productive thoughts through affirmations, mantras and visualization.

Okay, so I’m kinda carpet bombing the site with posts today. There’s a lot on my mind and I’ve had four days of holding down the couch to think. Yes, literally. My fibromyalgia/chronic pain has felt extremely unkind as of late. And that’s just the physical stuff. Mentally and emotionally, I’m ready to jump out of a window and run screaming naked into traffic. (Figuratively!) But let’s re-frame a little. It’s been super challenging this week and I’m struggling not to open fire… uhhh It’s been super challenging this week and I really love small animals. There. That’s about all I can muster. Kittens, bunnies and puppies help keep me sane.

Kitten picture borrowed from Instagram. Please email me for credit.

I did hit it right on the head, though. One of the many powerful tools available to us is reframing. If you catch a negative thought within 17 seconds, neuroscience has taught us you can begin to retrain your subconscious mind with more positive, powerful and productive thoughts through affirmations, mantras and visualization. I AM coping with this situation.

Yes, spending time with small animals, even the thousands of photos and videos on the internet can be extremely helpful. I mean, seriously. How can anyone stay mad when you’re smiling at cute, innocent and furry?

Another helpful tool for me is neutrality. Sure, I get reactive, downright mad at times truthfully, but I’ve learned from watching and listening to philosophical and spiritual giants such as Rupert Spira and Eckhart Tolle that neutrality and/or putting oneself in a non-reactive state is all around wiser and healthier that my knee jerk reaction to start screaming epithets and hurling mad insults. I AM calm and rational. I AM calm and rational. I am calllllmmm… ahh.

All joking aside, neutrality is still a step up on the vibrational scale over freaking out angry, hateful, apathetic, and so forth. I know this scale gets tossed around a LOT by the spiritual and LoA communities, as well it should. Vibration is the law that governs the Law of Attraction that we all love so much. Not only should we be paying attention to it, but we should be considering it in almost everything. And in 2020, that’s been a damn challenge.

The vibrational scale.

I’ve felt it. You can call it Mars retrograde, ascension symptoms, energetic resistance, or whatever. I’ve had tons upon tons of negative junk come up lately. I’ve really had to stop and think- or rather, stop and FEEL my way through a lot of things. Before I embraced spirituality? I’d have been raging mad and losing my marbles in traffic, much less with all this nonsense the school year is throwing at us, Covid-19, and about a half dozen other things. Kids are nerve-wracking enough. Try being cooped up with the little buggars seven months… I AM LOVE. I AM love…

And that reminds me of my next point. One great way to maintain a higher vibration and stay positive is humor. My really broad, sometimes dark and freaky sense of humor has helped keep me going the last few months especially. I don’t have to look far for things to laugh about or laugh at these days. They just come to me. Whether they’re appropriate to laugh at is another subject entirely. Sarcasm, crude humor, and internet memes still count as humor as far as I’m concerned. The only thing I frown upon is hurting others. But as long as the laughs are harmless? Keep em comin!

I feel like I need to meditation here as well. I do it a LOT, probably more than my wife would like. It’s tough in a house full of kids, but I make the time for it on my nights off, my breaks from work, and as soon as I get home if no one is up yet. (Advantage of working overnights.) I know some people say they have trouble calming their minds, but it’s really only as hard as one makes it out to be. Once you get into the habit, it becomes easier and easier to get into that trancelike state of utter tranquility. Next to sleep, it’s the number one way to reset your vibration.

The Six Habits by Laura Dibenedetto.
I highly recommend you check it out!

The next thing I was reminded of just now is gratitude. Where would we be without gratitude? It’s an exercise in appreciating the little things you have in life on top of the big things. I AM grateful just for being here, on the internet, with my laptop, in my house, with electricity. Heck, I am grateful I woke up alive in the 3D world with plenty of fresh air to breathe today. I am grateful for you reading this far. Thank you!

As I have said before, one of the things I am super grateful for is The Six Habits. I swear this is not a shameless plug, but rather honest fact. This book has helped me so much. Gratitude is just one of the habits. The anecdotal evidence just from the book is overwhelming! Gratitude really is your friend!

One last point I want to touch on in regards to positivity is energy. EVERYTHING is energy! Energy is seen and unseen. Nikola Tesla once said that if you want to understand the universe, you must think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.

Abraham Hicks talks about negativity in terms of resistance. Whatever you wish to manifest will always be that much farther away if you resonate with negativity. However, if you are positive, resonating in a positive vibration, what you are trying to manifest will be drawn to you. As so many have quoted from Wayne Dyer, “The law of attraction is this: You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are..”

Or as many have added, you attract what you feel. Higher vibration is really, really a good thing. Sometimes it’s tough to remember that when life is flinging poo like that monkey in the zoo, but we still manage to get by. Til next time, I AM just happy and grateful to be here.

Two Days of Working from Home!

I just spent night number two of working from home. I love it! I’m not sure if it will last, but it would be pretty cool if it does.

Admittedly, one of the days at home was because someone at the office caught the Icky Cough-Coughs. My oldest decided to give the thing a Doc McStuffins name. I’ve adopted that term. I hope whomever got ill recovers quickly.

If there has been an upside to this plandemic, it has taught me that working from home is so much more preferable to working in the office. It has definitely approved my meager attendance. It’s a lot easier when I’m in pain to crawl across my basement and log in than drag myself to the car and shlep all my gear around the building into the office.

I AM so happy and grateful now that I am my own boss. And that is my affirmation today. Well, every day, really. It’s most assuredly manifesting.

Feelin boss today!

I AM my own best boss and favourite employee. Another affirmation that adorns my vision board and my affirmations list. This is part of the Acceptance piece of The Six Habits. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s also a pretty big component to LoA, or more specifically, the Law of Vibration.

Acceptance is a key Habit.

For those who might not be familiar yet, feeling, or even being in the moment as if you were is the Secret. I’m learning a lot of LoA hinges on mindset, fairly high vibration, and living in the moment. Not trying to brag, but my last couple of days have been pretty phenomenal. I hope yours have, too.

The best part is, feelings don’t cost anything. You can be in a great mood for absolutely free. And money can’t buy happiness, but it can sure as heck buy a lot of things that make me happy. Happy my family is taken care-of, happy to be reading, happy to be watching, happy to be traveling… the list goes on for about ever. So why not be happy now?

Have a beautiful now moment all day.

Presence Today

Pets are pros at Presence. Ever just sit and stare at your pet or pet your animal for a long time?

I choose to talk about Presence today. It is one of the Six Habits in Laura DiBenedetto’s book, The Six Habits. If you want to know more about it and would like to read the book, the link for it on Amazon is here: The Six Habits. The audio just came out too, by the way.

Presence is in short, all about mindful presence. Can you be in the room and be fully focused on what is going on in the room? It’s not as easy as one might imagine, especially in these modern times when we have numerous distractions- TV, radio, and the biggest attention-sucker ever- smart phones.

THE SIX HABITS by Laura DiBenedetto
Practical Tools for Bringing Your Dreams to Life.

Then there are the internal distractions. How often do you catch yourself thinking, “I wish I was anywhere but here?” Or my favorite, “I wish I was home right now,” while I’m at work. Sometimes, my mind wanders about 200 miles northwest of my current location, in a nice forested area, with a lake and a view of the mountains, within driving distance of the Pacific Ocean…

But the catch is, can you bring yourself back? Can you be fully on top of your game at work? Can you listen to the kids telling you about some video game character or a YouTuber they’ve discovered? Sometimes it’s hard. My email, especially ads from dice companies, is way more interesting than either thing I just mentioned.

My favorite example was the other day at a restaurant. This woman was at the table across from us with her family of six. My kids know, and my wife is usually aware of the rule, phones get put away at the dinner table. My guess is, the nice lady across from us did not have that rule at her house, or that phone call must’ve been pretty important.

Meanwhile, her husband was trying to wrangle the kids, all of whom were probably 10 and under, squirrelly as most kids are, and wiggling, wriggling and monkeying around as most kids do. The guy looked absolutely miserable. That phone call lasted most of the meal. I’d probably have said something had she been my wife, but… Hopefully they sorted that out afterwards.

Husky pup. Much more adorable than an Excel spreadsheet. I mean, seriously. Please email me for photo credit..

My other example, and this one is purely on me, is work. You think Instagram is far more amusing than my job? Spreadsheets and boring emails vs cute pictures of husky pups, kittens, bunnies, spiritual stuff, conspiracy stuff, and so on… I can get distracted very easily. The trick is coming back to the present moment.

How much more productive am I when I’m fully present? It’s pretty shocking how much I can really get done when I have my eye on the metaphorical ball. Would I rather be blogging? Yeah. Or really doing anything besides pouring over line upon line of dispatches and crunching numbers. UFOs, ETs, and things coming and going from other dimensions are way more entertaining to talk about.

Here’s the best part. Coming back to joy. I mean, if I’m more productive at work, maybe I finally get promoted or a pay increase. That keeps the family happy, right? And failing that, I get all of my actual work done and can dip out for a few and look at the latest dice offers in my personal email. Or, I can get everything set for the night and keep an eye open for driver requests while I write a blog article. Tee heehee. (Not that I ever do that.)

The same is very true at home. If I’m fully centered on my family and listening to them, I hear about their day at school. I hear about how my wife’s work went. (Yeah… the Co-la-ro-lala-nala-vir-usla is a very ugly topic here with teachers in Iowa right now…) I get to actually enjoy dropping some advice or bringing the topic around to something more interesting. Although my family’s thoughts about the Ninth Dimensional Arcturian Council are for another post. But it’s nice being a husband and a dad when life throws me a chance to be both. And there’s plenty of time to hang with the cats and write blog articles afterward. (Grin.)

Have a beautiful now moment.

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

Self Care

My health has to come first.

Today I chose to make self care a priority in my life. I didn’t sleep very well. I’ll confess there’s a bit of stress in my life around my job, try though I might not to admit it. And that leads to, (drum roll please-) a pain flare. So, upon waking up for my alarm today, I called in sick instead of going to work.

Bitmoji of me low on health
Low on Health

What I didn’t know, until I called work, was that I was not the only one. Apparently two out of the six of us had already called in. Can’t really say I blame them. In fact, I think there is zero blame here. I don’t know why they called in, but I can honestly say my body chose rest and self care.

Kindness is one of The Six Habits mentioned in the book by Laura DiBenedetto. Kindness to others, sure. But kindness to yourself is key. And, well, this was definitely a good cause for that tonight. When I wake up feeling like I’ve been beaten soundly with a sack of hammers one at a time, it’s time to take a sick day. It’s me saying I have to take my health seriously.

This was the case before we started working these crazy 12 hour shifts four nights in a row. It’s only exacerbated by the need to use FMLA because I’m out of sick time that much faster. It’s unfortunate for the company.

The sad part, on a tangent, is I’ve offered to work from home. But for whatever reason that’s not good enough for them. I have a desk job. If all I had to do was crawl across my basement (almost literally,) and log into my compy from home? My attendance would skyrocket! I’d be nigh onto employee of the month in terms of attendance. But, alas…

Photo by Musa Ortau00e7 on Pexels.com
Not me, but you get the idea.

My health has to come first. Years ago, I would have been so hell-bent on taking care of my family, I would have tromped in there, pain be damned. Ironically, those were the days I really wrecked my health, especially my back, in my quest to become super dad/husband. No regrets, really. I’ve forgiven myself for all that happened and accepted everything happens for a reason. I chose to have that experience and I am grateful for it. (Yes, I said I’m grateful for the days I feel like I punched it out with Tyson, Ali, and Foreman in no particular order.)

And then for added strife, my supervisor more or less bit my face off when I called in. I empathize that he was having a rough day by his own admission, but still, he was pretty rude. I get kindness to others, acceptance, and mindful understanding. His comments and behaviour are on him. I’m never in charge of someone else’s feelings, only my own. And, I’m not letting it get to me per se, but there was definitely a time I would have. I’ve been processing it in my mind all night, but maybe not for the reason one might imagine.

I know I love me. As arrogant as it sounds, it’s true. I hope everyone says the same about themselves. I don’t expect everyone to understand that. And I feel somewhat bad that the guys had to work a shift with half the manpower. But again, not really and not for the reason one might imagine.

Here is my reason and affirmation: I AM Worthy of being treated well. Any person or company that would expect me to put my well-being aside so they can “optimize their profits” (or whatever other corporate gibberish they want to cook up,) really doesn’t deserve to have me. Again, not trying to be a jerk, just honest. It has taken me many, many years to learn this lesson.

Now, would I do this if I were working for myself? Absolutely! The major difference is, as my own boss, I’d totally let me work from home. Same with anyone working for me as long as they are able to work from home. And if not? Yes. Take care of yourself.

SO, in conclusion, I’m not intending to complain about my health or my job. I’m pretty well over both. I accept my strengths and limitations. But I am 100% ready to move forward with my life.

Intentions are being set. Vision boards created. And I am living the dream fulfilled in the now moment. 2020 is the year of change. This is going to be the year I started knocking things out of the park.

Namaste and publius.

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