Personal Share: Healthy Amount of Skepticism.

The Universe is vast and almost unknowable. There are billions of planets around billions of stars. It all had to start somewhere, right? It is sheer folly to think we’re it when it comes to life in the Universe. It is ridiculous to think there aren’t forces at work outside of what our five paltry human senses can detect.

Possibly the toughest part of being open minded is hearing things you know you don’t agree with.

And what’s really rough is when they turn out to be true. I’ve been listening to this very wise person named Andey Fellowes. @andeyfellowes on Instagram. He’s a skeptic when it comes to “New Age” beliefs and the more esoteric end of spirituality. He’s also a pro at debunking a lot of Law of Attraction myths and bringing logic to a space where it’s not as common.

Andey Fellowes. Brilliant guy! https://andeyfellowes.wordpress.com/

Andey Fellowes has made many good points on Instagram, YouTube and elsewhere.

Fellowes has been through a lot of junk in his life. He’s a cult survivor, specifically Teal Swan’s Tribe. He regularly calls Teal’s teachings into question along with those of Ralph Smart and several others. He also suffers from depression, the same as many of us have. He’s also come back to spirituality after being an atheist.

I’ve called some of Ralph Smart’s rhetoric and background into question in the past as well. Most of it has been taken down off of YouTube and Instagram. Fellowes has also called Aaron Doughty and other LoA YouTubers into question and for good reasons. I think this is what has been missing for a long time from a lot of the spiritual/self growth/LoA community that I have been listening to.

I don’t agree with everything he says, which I’m sure he would be the first to say is a good thing.

I’m still very “New Age-y” in my beliefs and practices, although I’ve begun to question some things after listening to Fellowes. I still listen to Lori Ladd, The Ninth Dimensional Arcturian Council via Daniel Scranton, The Spirit of the Cosmos, and others regularly. Anna Brown is still one of my heroes. I’m still very much a fan of Aaron Doughty and Jake Ducey. Honestly, I’ll never abandon my friend Laura DiBenedetto and the Six Habits no matter what anyone says.

But here’s the thing- I don’t believe everything anyone says without question. Laura DiBenedetto will be the first to tell you, I ask a LOT of questions. (LOL! True story.) I never blindly follow any one spiritual teacher. That’s cult behavior and we don’t follow that around here.

But I will say I’ve learned a lot listening to Fellowes. He’s put a different spin on things and said a lot of things out loud that I’ve often wondered about. I’ve learned a lot and I’ve begun to look at certain teachings more critically. However, all it does sometimes is strengthen my resolve and belief in Law of Attraction. Freedom, prosperity and joy are all possible and attainable.

What if Light Language is just gibberish? What if channeling is all just psychological? What if a lot of spiritual teachers just use a lot of colorful language and pseudoscience metaphors to push their products and services? Are we ruled by material capitalism and the almighty dollar?

What good is faith if we don’t question it occasionally?

Skepticism is healthy.

I acknowledge The Ninth Dimensional Arcturian Council is kind of a running joke around here. When I started listening to Fellowes, my wife got all hopeful that I had abandoned my spirituality in favor of cold, hard, logical cynicism. Alas, I haven’t and I won’t. My wife can call me crazy all she wants. We’re still married.

The Universe is vast and almost unknowable. There are billions of planets around billions of stars. It all had to start somewhere, right? It is sheer folly to think we’re it when it comes to life in the Universe. It is ridiculous to think there aren’t forces at work outside of what our five paltry human senses can detect.

To doubt is human. Please don’t ever take the word of any one teacher, guru or expert as pure truth. Please explore, doubt and challenge everything. It’s your sovereign right to do so. But, please- never take any one word for all of it?

Let’s talk Ufology again for a second.

Please come get me? Any time. Please do it in broad daylight so everyone can witness it. Proof is a good thing!

I have had multiple tests of faith over the last year or so. One of the biggest was the whole disaster surrounding Añjali. While I won’t get into my opinion of her here, she is part of the reason I changed this blog and my focus onto other endeavours for a while. But I’m still very interested in the topics of extraterrestrials/extradimensional beings, which by default plays into Ufology.

What I don’t buy into any more is this whole notion of Disclosure. Yeah, the governments of the world lie to us like we’re all stupid. Añjali and another known shill, Lue Elizondo, exist to perpetuate the myth. Many agents working for the government and black budget secret access projects have been sent to infiltrate the Ufology and spiritual communities to spy on us and spread misinformation for decades now. I suspect 1952 was the year that all began in earnest.

The fact that there are hundreds (or more) of beings watching and sometimes interacting with humans is being covered up. Send MIB to my house. Go on. I’ll wait. The truth is, they won’t. I have no proof. All I can do is speculate and ask others to do the same. But I know in my heart, these beings, in whatever form they take, (angels, spirits/ghosts, ETs, and so on) have been around for centuries and aren’t going anywhere.

How do I know?

Peace.

I believe. I don’t exactly know. That’s where skeptics come in. They call those beliefs into question.

If God/Source/Universe is real, then why not beings we can’t see or touch with our little 3D bodies? Who’s to say there isn’t some truth to all myths about the Universe? How does one explain events from history and religion since time immemorial?

Science fact, history, and faith all intersect at certain points. Yes, we can explain away miracles. We can dismiss UFO encounters and ET experiences. Sure, let’s try to thoroughly debunk various “pseudoscientific” studies such as the famous double slit experiment and Masaru Emoto’s study on water. What if it’s all legit?

At some point, humankind must choose what to believe and disbelieve. Skepticism can help us maintain balance. Yes. Please do call things into question. If the beliefs end up being false, then so be it. If I’m wrong, I’m willing to admit it. What if we’re trying to dismiss things that actually do exist?

But if I’m right, it all plays out according to the Universal Laws and everything happens for a reason. Multiple timelines do exist. Beings of every sort imaginable are visiting this planet and watching from the moon. The Law of Attraction really can benefit us in theory as well as practice. There really is no such thing as coincidence. Believe. There is one true Source of all life in the Universe and it wants us to know it’s real!

The best part is, no one has to agree with me. Please, make up your own mind. Believe what you wish to believe.

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate you. Have a great weekend.

Day 20: Dream

The internet has long been my vision board. This is how I picture retirement, some day after the kids have all graduated.

#FlashFicFeb although this is only “fiction” because I’m not presently experiencing this reality in a purely physical sense.

Day 20: Dream #FlashFicFeb

Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.com

I intend to live in a cabin; near a lake; in the woods; with a view of the mountains; where I can sit in a hand built wooden chair next to a stone fire pit where I cook many delicious meals. I will befriend as many animals as I can. I will walk around the lake at least once per day.

I want to be within an hour’s walking distance of a small town. Other than electrical and water, my cabin will be mostly off the grid. I only need to go into town to use the WiFi occasionally and buy supplies. I might get one of those fancy recumbent tricycles if I get tired of walking. My car is going to be parked and probably covered most of the time.

I want to enjoy fresh air at night outdoors as often as possible. I want to watch the sun rise and set next to the lake. I’ll watch the geese and the ducks come and go. With some luck I’ll even get to see the deer occasionally, and maybe a raccoon. I don’t hunt or fish anymore, so they have nothing to fear from me.

I might become more of a vegetarian than I am now. I plan to make pizza, chili, maybe some eggs now and then. I’ll roast corn, zucchini, potatoes, and onions over the fire pit. I’ll pop popcorn in a pan. I can’t go fully vegan because I love cheese, eggs, and butter too much.

My days will be filled with writing roleplaying games and novels. My weekends will be filled with conventions for roleplaying games or Ufology. I’ll never need to go on a spiritual retreat because the cabin will be far enough from traffic that I can rest and meditate without noise from traffic or other nearby houses.

I want to be able to fall asleep occasionally in my chair next to the fire pit with a blanket over my legs for added warmth. I’ll meditate regularly in almost any weather. My cabin will have a solid roof and a wood stove for cold, rainy nights.

I might get a cat for company. Otherwise, I don’t really need or even want a lot of companionship. I’ll still upload my blog. I’ll e-publish most of my stuff, anyway. It’s not that I don’t like being around people, I just want as much peace and quiet as possible.

Don’t pinch me. I don’t want to wake up. This is real for me.

Photo by Spencer Selover on Pexels.com

Freedom Day! February 2020 v2.0 Edition

It’s going to get better. One of the toughest lessons in Law of Attraction is learning when the Universe is testing us. Also, learning from past experiences that keep repeating themselves is important. The Universe likes to ask, “Are you sure? Are you really ready for this awesomesauce thing you’ve been manifesting?”

I only wish I was kidding.

No surprises, really.

Remember the year 2020? Have any of us forgotten it yet? So far, this year is starting to remind me of 2020 in all of its shitastic glory.

I’ve reviewed, revised and rewritten this site. That’s as close to a breakthrough as I’ve truly had this year. I feel like we’re connecting more, reaching you, a more receptive audience, and growing together.

Then there’s the rest. The Icky Cough-Coughs came to visit in the middle of January and ate up two weeks of our lives here at the Craigmile house. It was not fun times. All of us came through it okay, which is a huge plus. Just when ya thought you were done with quarantine, though. (Eyeroll.)

The beginning of the year also brought us Governor Kim Reynolds meddling about in Iowa Workforce Development. Iowa has a massive shortage of “skilled” jobs, but nothing requiring a college degree. Nothing like a Bachelor’s degree in two majors just to have IWD tell me they’ll be happy to retrain my fibromyalgia-having ass to become an arc welder or a dental hygienist. (That shit ain’t happening.) But I still persevered through all the added hoops necessary to keep my unemployment check coming.

Then this week, I got shot down for a job I really had my sights set on. That hit right in the old depression, worse than anything in months. While I was recovering from that and a pain flare, I got a love letter in the mail from IWD. My unemployment money is due to peter out this week. We knew this day would come, but it doesn’t take the sting out of it.

Plus a lot of little things keep popping up like the kids’ grades. Minor household disasters are one of the latest things on the shit list. (Okay, a chunk of our garage literally fell off the other day.) Just for fun, I accidentally chipped a tooth the other day, too. One of these days my student loans are going to come due.

Let’s not forget it’s also an election year. Russia and the US are doing their damnedest to not go to war with one another or however that works. Let’s not forget the trucking, uh disaster, in Canada. The mass news media has more garbage and propaganda than ever to spew. I wasn’t even going to touch on this, but it does come up around here occasionally. Every once in a while my wife also goes rant mode over something a school board does any given place in the US. This whole book banning/burning thing makes me ill.

Chillin. Waitin for things to improve.

It’s going to get better. One of the toughest lessons in Law of Attraction is learning when the Universe is testing us. Also, learning from past experiences that keep repeating themselves is important. The Universe likes to ask, “Are you sure? Are you really ready for this awesomesauce thing you’ve been manifesting?”

My answer is always, “Give me a couple million dollars and let’s find out, okay?”

Hasn’t happened yet, but any day now. Right? (Nervous chuckle.) Until it does, or something equally wonderful, I have gratitude for the blessings in my life. I am grateful for new friends, especially on #TTRPGTwitter. I’m also grateful for my Earthly teachers new and old. I’m grateful for the wealth and prosperity that flows into our lives easily, endlessly and copiously every day. It’s the whole notion of living in the dream fulfilled.

The dream shifts and evolves.

Maybe this is why my vision board is not posted anywhere but in my head and on the internet. My big dream is to be a successful RPG writer/game designer. I intend for my kids to be well taken care-of. I want my wife to be happy. I’m pretty satisfied as long as all of that is in motion.

Would I love to be rich? Sure. Am I focused on being happy regardless? Yeah. Most days. Growing beyond contentment into joy is the pinnacle of high vibrations. As we all know from LoA, high vibration pulls us closer to manifesting our highest and best intentions.

I appreciate all of you. Thank you for sharing this space. More to come.

Anxiety and How I Beat It Back

What’s the BEST that can happen?

Kind of a personal share today.

My chest is getting a bit tight just thinking about all this. Breathe…

I’m working on a couple of projects that I’m very excited about or at least I should be. I’m sworn to secrecy, so I can’t say what they are, but they’re very important to me. It’s also very exciting.

That’s all fine and well, but the old sinking feelings set in. I start asking all the wrong questions in my head. What if I fail? What if I miss my deadline? What if no one likes it? What if my wife gets on me for spending more time on this than housework or finding a “real” job. What if I’m successful? Ooh pressure… What if there’s criticism? See also all of my personal PTSD triggers…

If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled up under my desk.

Procrastination sets in. I start spending way more time on social media. I play Diablo 3 like it’s going out of style. I do housework until my body says “no more.” The cats are avoiding me because of too many snuggles. Time to be my own therapist for a change. None of this pattern is new to me. Time to break the cycle.

What’s the BEST that can happen?

The worst case scenario has had enough time in the limelight to last me a lifetime. I took Public Relations in college. I know how it works. But I’m done with thinking about what could go wrong. Let’s project what it looks like when things go right.

  • Use positive affirmations to build confidence back up. If nothing else, I am okay.
  • Speak it into existence with gratitude for what will happen. “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a successfully published RPG writer.”
  • Take inspired action. Don’t let those good ideas sit on the shelf.
  • “Lean into the suck.” (Thanks Laura DiBenedetto!) More on that below.
  • False Evidence Appearing Real. Let the demons go on a diet. No more fear.
  • Stay calm. Relax. Breathe. Stay present in the moment. Every now moment.
  • Get knocked down 99 times. Stand up 100 times. Failure is part of the process.
  • Do not compare oneself to the images on social media. The grass is always greener in someone else’s front yard.
  • Finally, criticism is also part of the process. Trust that it isn’t personal. Learn. Grow from it. Keep going with the knowledge that change and growth go hand in hand.

A good friend of mine once said, “Lean into the suck.”

Yes, there’s stress. But…

Yes, there’s going to be stress. It’s part of the process. Yes, there are challenges to overcome. If it were totally easy, someone else would have done it by now. Sometimes, you just have to push through all the fear, stress, concerns and challenges to come out on top in that place of gratitude. Even Elon Musk and Jeff Besos have off days and problems to solve.

Inspired action is still action and sometimes that comes with more challenges (or consequences.) I know I have to step out of my comfort zone. I have to reach for those goals. They’re not just going to happen magically while I sit on my couch and meditate. (Yay meditation, but still…)

Yeah, sometimes things are going to suck. There are setbacks. They’re not permanent. Hold my Dr Pepper. I got this.

I have to constantly remind myself I am NOT my feelings.

Sure, I have feelings. (My man card is burning. LOL!) The thing we tend to forget is that we choose our feelings. I’m not in any imminent danger of being eaten by a bear, so I can choose something besides stress.

Yeah, criticism is likely. But my editor is human. I’m still going to put my best foot forward and do my utmost to meet deadline. If it’s not perfect, we’ll figure it out together.

I am not my diagnosis of PTSD, ADHD, depression, anxiety disorder or anything else psychology labels me as having. I am capable of staying positive and present. I can do this. I’ve got this.

Thanks for bearing with me on a personal share. Sometimes I just need to put it down in words to feel my way through things. The interweb is my vision board.

I am so grateful for all of you. Be back soon.

If you’re interested in more life changing suggestions for personal growth, you can check out The Six Habits by Laura DiBenedetto. This book and its author have helped me so much these last three years.

Gratitude for the Storm

I AM GRATEFUL FOR: The dedicated people who worked super hard to clean up this mess. Having refrigeration. An opportunity to clean out my fridge. Air conditioning. Trees. Wind. Rain. Fresh Salads. Warm Pizza. Popcorn. Time with the kids. Having everyone safe after a weather disaster. Having a car that runs. Being able to charge all of our various electronics. A chance to get my wiring projects caught up in the house. (Power was out, so may as well, right?) Cold beverages.

I apologize for having to take a couple of days off. We had some really severe storms roll across the state of Iowa three days ago that wiped out our electricity until a few short hours ago. This whole near-disaster was a lesson in gratitude, appreciation, acceptance and love. Oddly enough, I’m actually happier tonight than I was before this thing hit.

Another thing that belayed my posting is my bosses were “sitting in” with us. All it really meant was a lot of long, very boring meetings about the stock market and why we should watch it. Which is hilariously pointless given I work overnight and it has absosmurfly nothing to do with our jobs. And even more ironic given that they’ve already said they’re cutting our jobs. I think they’re just trying to figure out which ones they want to keep. (Like it’s not already bloody obvious?) Again, I’m just laughing at the whole stupid thing. But in the interest of decorum, I tried to stay somewhat present and not post from work.

So, two nights of working with the clown and pony show followed by two days of coming home and trying to sleep with no air conditioning. I stayed surprisingly calm and centered through the whole experience. Our power came back on and my family was super excited. I’m just as calm as I was when it went off. Why?

Again, I’ve been practicing Presence. It’s one of the Six Habits created by Laura DiBenedetto. I know I shamelessly plug the book and the program a lot, but it has done wonders for my state of mind and spiritual well-being. This latest disaster is another example. I’ve really been digging back into my habits lately.

The other morning I noticed how quiet it was. Now, my neighbor’s genny ran non-stop, plus all the chainsaws and traffic out there along with the occasional police/fire sirens. How is this quiet?

Simple. No TV, no Internet, no phone (trying to save on the battery,) and the kids weren’t all up yet. I would bet 200 years ago, this site I’m living on would have been beyond peaceful. As it is now, just listening out the window is pure joy. Even tonight as I listen to traffic and crickets. It’s easy listening for the quiet mind.

I want to end this post with a gratitude list. I won’t go into all 25, but just the highlights I have realized over the last few days.

I AM GRATEFUL FOR: The dedicated people who worked super hard to clean up this mess. Having refrigeration. An opportunity to clean out my fridge. Air conditioning. Trees. Wind. Rain. Fresh Salads. Warm Pizza. Popcorn. Time with the kids. Having everyone safe after a weather disaster. Having a car that runs. Being able to charge all of our various electronics. A chance to get my wiring projects caught up in the house. (Power was out, so may as well, right?) Cold beverages. Last for now, Gaia. And God.

As I’ve been saying, Gaia smacked us and God saved us. That’s pretty much what happened. But the greatest gift from ALL of it, are the lessons learned and gifts we can appreciate. So, thank you, Universe, for again showing us all the marvelous experiences we can have here on Earth. Thank you!

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