Freedom Day: May 19th Edition.

What’s the lesson? What’s this trying to teach me? I mean, I’m trying to to wrap my head around a lot of this even now.

Personal Share.

Sigh. It’s the classic best-of-times, worst-of-times scenario. Getting canned from a place where I was miserable might have been better for them than me? Maybe? The verdict is still out on this one. (*Note, I have to tread very carefully with this topic. Certain folk might still be creepin on my socials and here.)

Spiritually, it’s all about the silver lining. What’s the lesson? What’s this trying to teach me? I mean, I’m trying to to wrap my head around a lot of this even now. I’ve done a lot of processing, or at least I’d like to think I have.

Here’s my question: Who’s teaching this class, anyway?

I love Eckhart, believe me.

The very spiritually correct answer is the Universe/Source/God. I’m not trying to force any of this concept on anyone. Take from it what you will. I’m no Eckhart Tolle and my connection with the Divine might not be quite as strong these days? Sorry. That escalated quickly. (*Much like I occasionally poke at Matt Mercer, I seriously doubt Eckhart or his people read my blog.)

If we’re the creator and the creation at the same time, why do we make things hard for ourselves? This question has been relevant for centuries, maybe longer. Sadly, I don’t even have it that bad! Basic human needs met in this 3D lifetime? Check. Anything beyond that? Still working on it.

If you want to stretch the bounds of spirituality a bit, it’s actually me teaching me or my higher self teaching me. And then so on and so forth up the multidimensional food chain all the way to Source. That’s kind of a trippy concept. What? I can’t give myself the proverbial Cliffsnotes?

Karmically, how many times does one have to go through the wringer before we move on?

Early Iron by Maigheach-gheal is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0
This is a wringer for those wondering.

I seem to remember someone saying situations would be repeated until a specific lesson is learned. Now, clothes used to go through the wringer a few times to help them dry, but there came a point where it wasn’t doing any good. So I have to ask, if I continue to flunk the same lesson, do I still get to, uh, “graduate?” Is “graduation” day when we die or the next proverbial day when we get to go answer for everything? The deeper one reaches, the more questions come up to be answered.

My dear old Dad used to say, “It never gets any easier, does it?” The older I get, the more I really understand the question. Not sure I have any more answers than I did when I was 17, but at least I get the question from multiple angles.

Every answer leads to more questions. Some questions are more of a struggle to figure out than others. Sometimes we struggle like crazy just to come full circle to the simplest answer possible. We overlook simple answers due to their lack of complexity. As my good friend Jake once said, “If it was simple, we wouldn’t be here.”

People say I spend too much time in my head and I overthink things. Yeah. I probably do. Then again, I believe anything worth doing is worth the effort. The details are important. If I’m worried and giving something a lot of thought, it’s a sign that I care.

One of my favorite teachers often reminds us that we’re already there.

Anna Brown, who claims to not be a spiritual teacher, but quite often speaks the truth about all things spiritual, really gets it in my opinion. You are already that which you are seeking. There are no answers to search for because you already possess the knowledge. Basically, stop trying to dig philosophically so much because you can just live.

Only, I’m stick-stone-stubborn as hell. I refuse to give up. I refuse to stop beating my head on the metaphysical wall. What the heck am I doing here if not to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing here? I love chasing my tail!

Back to the metaphysical drawing board this month.

I started watching a skeptic named Andey Fellowes on YouTube recently. Please don’t think I’m abandoning my views on spirituality or any of my beliefs. However, some of what Andey has to say does ring a bell. He gets very honest and critical about certain popular spiritual and Law of Attraction teachers and what they’re saying. Honestly, I’ve had some of the same experiences. He’s right about a good number of things.

I’m still kind of a “New Age” guy, though. I’m not changing everything about myself to become an atheist or a former “New Ager” as they are called. I don’t troll Andey, either. In fact, if love and light is your jam, there’s no point in trolling anyone, ever. Especially not someone who is speaking out against your long-held beliefs.

All of that having been said, I’m going back to my spiritual roots through the end of June. I am thoroughly examining what my goals in life are. I’m going to ask myself what I intend to manifest. I’m going to give a lot of mental effort over to changing beliefs that aren’t working for me. My overall goal is to hone the habits that will get me to a better place in life yet. It’s time to get off the struggle bus and find some joy again.

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate you. Have a wonderful day wherever you are and whatever you’re doing.

Personal Spiritual Share: Existence.

Sometimes the struggle comes before the prosperity. Whenever you’re going through crap, there’s always a lesson on the other side.

It’s been a rough couple of days.

Expectation of injured.

One thing people don’t tend to understand as well about depression is that it doesn’t show on the outside. The same goes for chronic physical pain. Just because there’s no fence post sticking through my neck, doesn’t mean I don’t feel the pain every day both emotionally and physically.

I’ve said before that if pain is fear leaving the body, I can walk up to Godzilla and kick him in the nuts. I ain’t scared of nothin. (*Editor’s note: Yes, that’s horrible grammar.) But the point is: I’ve had my freakin fill of pain and fear both. I’m done.

There’s ALWAYS a lesson!

Quick story for ya. The other day I went to my kids’ ballgames and dropped them off to their respective teams. Grandview Little League is notorious for having very little available parking on Saturdays during game days. I circled around a few times and couldn’t find a space. So, out of sheer frustration, I took the car home and walked back to the baseball field. It only takes about 15-20 minutes. I used to do that kind of thing all the time where I grew up.

So, I get back to the ballpark and walk past my usual parking space only to find it wide open. I busted out laughing because you just can’t make this stuff up. The Universe taught me a lesson that day. Sometimes the struggle comes before the prosperity. Whenever you’re going through crap, there’s always a lesson on the other side.

Taking it one or two steps further.

Walk with me for a moment figuratively. IFF we’re spiritual beings having a physical experience, then the human body is basically a lens through which experiences are focused-in-on and perceived. These fleshy suits we wear in 3D reality are like a magnifying glass for experiences and feelings in the physical. (Editor’s Note: If you really want to blow your mind, multiply everything by millions upon billions of beings across the universe and alternate reality timelines. It’s staggering!)

As a collective consciousness, Earth is a big classroom with the Universe/God/Source as our teacher. Everything we all experience together is then a spiritual lesson for us all. Every moment of joy, triumph, or passion teaches us something. Likewise, so does lack, pain, and suffering.

I think we all know what we would prefer to experience while we’re here on Earth. The hard part is experiencing all of the things we don’t prefer in order to learn what we do prefer. For example, we have all at some time experienced lack (of some sort,) so we know what an abundance looks like. We’ve all been sad, so we know what joy looks like.

It’s hard to be grateful for the negative stuff.

Yet I am, because without it, I wouldn’t know what the awesomeness on the other side will look like. As an aside, because I do know what much better times look like, I know the sad times won’t last forever. Until then, I’m grateful for what I have.

Thank you all for being here. Have a fabulous weekend.

Change of Projects.

I once had what I thought would be a fun horror/space game for FATE. It still looks pretty in my notes.

Once upon a time recently I was planning to do a horror/space one shot for FATE RPG.

First, GI Joe RPG showed up at my doorstep. Then, Freelancer: Skies Over Tolindia showed up in the mail. I backed it on Kickstarter wayyy back when I still had a job/stable income. Finally, I recently acquired a copy of Mutant Crawl Classics RPG, which promises to be as fun as DCC and Gamma World combined. Woot!

Needless to say, I have three big reviews I want to write in coming days. I’d like to drop a few one page adventures for GI Joe and Power Rangers RPGs while I’m at it. They’re easy enough to plan. I might also cook up a couple of adventures for DCC and MCC, since Goodman Games is pretty cool about their intellectual properties.

I can always come back to the other stuff, right?

Just because I abandoned one spiffy project for other things doesn’t mean I can’t come back, right? It was a good idea once and will still be there in the future if I decide to come back to it. I still have my hand written project outline.

For a guy who doesn’t work a regular job, one would imagine I have a lot of time on my hands. It looks good on paper, anyway. When I have four kids to chase, a wife to support and all of my own wacky projects? Time evaporates rapidly and I find myself writing for my Blog at 2:00 in the morning. Yay.

For added excitement, my youngest developed an earache at 4:00AM on Friday. We have Little League games all weekend. My oldest has to be taken to and from work. Somewhere in there we actually have to cook and get groceries in there. Oof. To think I wanted to squeeze in D&D or Power Rangers in the midst of the chaos. Maybe next week? LOL!

I appreciate all of you. Thank you for being here with me on this incredible journey. See you tomorrow at about 2:00AM.

Summer Vacation and My First Monster.

Ah, the lazy days of summer. It makes me think back to all those days I laid around in the air conditioning reading D&D books and coming up with cool stuff.

The first time I read through the AD&D Monster Manual, my first instinct was to create a monster.

Okay, I was 10. I was the DM for our group. One of my friends loaned me his AD&D Monster Manual so I could throw more XP their way. I skimmed through the whole thing. There’s a lot of goodness in there. The thing that naturally stuck out to me were the dragons.

First, a tiny bit of backstory.

I grew up in a small Iowa town. When school wasn’t in session, there wasn’t a ton of stuff to do. This was before the internet was a thing. Summers were mild until about mid-June. My parents house was old and got super hot. Hanging around in front of the air conditioner was a necessity sometimes. Like so many others, I had a small dedicated group of like-minded nerds.

My summer vacations were full of Kung Fu or kaiju movies on Saturday night, after pro wrestling and Pac Man on the ATARI 2600. Backyard baseball, swimming at the public pool, and of course, D&D rounded out my days. Those really hot summer days were spent camped in front of the air conditioner.

That’s when I did a ton of reading. I digested the entire 1st Ed AD&D DMG and a book on Zen Buddhism one week, the Monster Manual 2 and a Stephen King novel the next. Somewhere in there I drew dungeon maps or created Marvel Superhero bad guys for game days.

A couple of years later, it was all about horror movies and DC Heroes. Star Wars RPG came out somewhere in there and all of us were big fans, so that became a regular game session for us. We also played a lot of Battletech somewhere in there.

I was hoping my first character would be a ninja.

Those were the Basic Days. I ended up playing an Elf. I was somewhat sneaky and roguish. Oriental Adventures wasn’t a thing yet. But, I still got to swing a sword and throw Magic Missile around.

Imagine my disappointment when there were no actual kaiju in the Monster Manual. Dragons are cool to this day, sure. But Godzilla is king of the monsters. So, the first monster I ever created was the Plutonium Dragon. I also made its frightful cousin, the Uranium Dragon. Alas, I haven’t seen the notebook pages they were written on in a long time.

I miss being a kid and looking forward to summer vacation. There was always that sense of wonderment and well, adventure. Sure, I still come up with new monsters, but there will always be radioactivity spewing nightmare fuel dragons.

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate you as always. Have a great day. See ya soon.

Personal Share at 3:33AM

After my last “real world” job experience, I’m not too keen on criticism. Seriously, I’m still having nightmares about that shit. I wasn’t kidding about the PTSD. Trust me, I’m still in therapy

I’ve been having trouble sleeping the last couple of weeks.

Yup.

Depression is real. I fight it. I fight it every freakin day. Some days are better than others. I choose joy. I choose positive thoughts. Shit still happens.

I’m grateful for being here in one piece, chatting with you. Yes, it could be a thousand times worse and I seriously feel for anyone who is struggling right now with depression or possibly a war in their back yard.

Lately, it’s been a little tough. I’m not pulling in the big bucks like I was. Okay, specifically, I’m not pulling any bucks. It’s kind of a downer if I’m being pragmatic. We’re not starving in the streets, but I’m starting to feel like a sixth wheel in my house. It gets to me because there’s so much more I want to do.

I get that I’m not everyone’s cup-o-tea.

“Look I so old to young eyes?” –Yoda

If rejection letters and flush emails were currency, I’d be a millionaire. I’m a writer, so getting shot down for things is kinda par for the course. Not a huge deal. And I’ve been blessed with not-a-ton of criticism.

After my last “real world” job experience, I’m not too keen on criticism. Seriously, I’m still having nightmares about that shit. I wasn’t kidding about the PTSD. Trust me, I’m still in therapy. Probably for a long time to come.

My wife and I playfully debate about changing my profile pics. She keeps trying to convince me to shave the beard. I contend that looking a couple of years younger is not gonna help and I love my beard.

It’s what I have to work with. Trust me when I say I have my share of issues working against me. Now if I could just convince the government…

I don’t expect everyone to love me. I’m not that arrogant. If I’m not your cup of tea, can I at least be your soda? Cup of coffee? Coaster? Anything?

February was the month of getting shot down in flames.

Criticism is not my friend.

Ever see that old Nintendo game, Duck Hunt? You can just call me “Daffy” because it’s like I’m out there flying around just waiting to get picked off. That dog’s still laughing at me, too.

The other day I receive another one of those should-have-known-better flush letters. I don’t know why I put myself through some of these things. I see opportunities that I think are fabulous that are “open to everyone, but…” The most bothersome part of that debacle is it wasn’t even a paid gig. It was a scholarship for cryin out loud!

Again, grateful there was no criticism there with the feedback. I would have caught that one in the feels for sure. I’m happy for whomever got it, but it was pretty obvious that I had no hope in Hell on that one. Onto the next one, I guess.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m on my own for the most part.

I’ve taken down my “Looking for Work” banners, etc on social media for the time being. I’m also pulling my resume down off of some websites because I’m tired of people just looking for names to add to their list or worse- selling it to telemarketing scum. I’m also a little annoyed that I’m getting spam calls from people who obviously pulled my number off the resume. If I didn’t give it to you, you shouldn’t have it!

I feel like seven plus months of looking for a job is enough for now. If I was going to get hired for real money, it would have happened by now. Countless applications = one kinda lame interview. Depressing.

I’m not sure I’m back to starting my own game company or looking for a suitable bridge to practice my high dive from. (Kidding about the bridge, for now, I guess, maybe.) At this point Wile E Coyote and I have a lot in common when it comes to wacky schemes. If anyone has any offers or deep thoughts they’d like to share, I’m all ears. jeffcraigmile@gmail.com

Thanks for hearing me out. I appreciate you.

Freedom Day! February 2020 v2.0 Edition

It’s going to get better. One of the toughest lessons in Law of Attraction is learning when the Universe is testing us. Also, learning from past experiences that keep repeating themselves is important. The Universe likes to ask, “Are you sure? Are you really ready for this awesomesauce thing you’ve been manifesting?”

I only wish I was kidding.

No surprises, really.

Remember the year 2020? Have any of us forgotten it yet? So far, this year is starting to remind me of 2020 in all of its shitastic glory.

I’ve reviewed, revised and rewritten this site. That’s as close to a breakthrough as I’ve truly had this year. I feel like we’re connecting more, reaching you, a more receptive audience, and growing together.

Then there’s the rest. The Icky Cough-Coughs came to visit in the middle of January and ate up two weeks of our lives here at the Craigmile house. It was not fun times. All of us came through it okay, which is a huge plus. Just when ya thought you were done with quarantine, though. (Eyeroll.)

The beginning of the year also brought us Governor Kim Reynolds meddling about in Iowa Workforce Development. Iowa has a massive shortage of “skilled” jobs, but nothing requiring a college degree. Nothing like a Bachelor’s degree in two majors just to have IWD tell me they’ll be happy to retrain my fibromyalgia-having ass to become an arc welder or a dental hygienist. (That shit ain’t happening.) But I still persevered through all the added hoops necessary to keep my unemployment check coming.

Then this week, I got shot down for a job I really had my sights set on. That hit right in the old depression, worse than anything in months. While I was recovering from that and a pain flare, I got a love letter in the mail from IWD. My unemployment money is due to peter out this week. We knew this day would come, but it doesn’t take the sting out of it.

Plus a lot of little things keep popping up like the kids’ grades. Minor household disasters are one of the latest things on the shit list. (Okay, a chunk of our garage literally fell off the other day.) Just for fun, I accidentally chipped a tooth the other day, too. One of these days my student loans are going to come due.

Let’s not forget it’s also an election year. Russia and the US are doing their damnedest to not go to war with one another or however that works. Let’s not forget the trucking, uh disaster, in Canada. The mass news media has more garbage and propaganda than ever to spew. I wasn’t even going to touch on this, but it does come up around here occasionally. Every once in a while my wife also goes rant mode over something a school board does any given place in the US. This whole book banning/burning thing makes me ill.

Chillin. Waitin for things to improve.

It’s going to get better. One of the toughest lessons in Law of Attraction is learning when the Universe is testing us. Also, learning from past experiences that keep repeating themselves is important. The Universe likes to ask, “Are you sure? Are you really ready for this awesomesauce thing you’ve been manifesting?”

My answer is always, “Give me a couple million dollars and let’s find out, okay?”

Hasn’t happened yet, but any day now. Right? (Nervous chuckle.) Until it does, or something equally wonderful, I have gratitude for the blessings in my life. I am grateful for new friends, especially on #TTRPGTwitter. I’m also grateful for my Earthly teachers new and old. I’m grateful for the wealth and prosperity that flows into our lives easily, endlessly and copiously every day. It’s the whole notion of living in the dream fulfilled.

The dream shifts and evolves.

Maybe this is why my vision board is not posted anywhere but in my head and on the internet. My big dream is to be a successful RPG writer/game designer. I intend for my kids to be well taken care-of. I want my wife to be happy. I’m pretty satisfied as long as all of that is in motion.

Would I love to be rich? Sure. Am I focused on being happy regardless? Yeah. Most days. Growing beyond contentment into joy is the pinnacle of high vibrations. As we all know from LoA, high vibration pulls us closer to manifesting our highest and best intentions.

I appreciate all of you. Thank you for sharing this space. More to come.

Short Personal Share

I’ve pretty much been out of action for 4 days. I’m healing, slowly. Lots to catch up on.

I’ve been pretty much flat on my back for 4 days now.

Between my chronic pain flare the other day, which went way longer than expected and this stupid cold (Thanks, kids!) I’ve been flat on my back most of the week. Needless to say, I’m woefully behind on everything at this point. It ain’t pretty.

I think I wrecked my posting streak here on the site. We were up to about 10? days in a row. I was trying to hit the big 100 mark before I took a day off. I’ll have to keep going, I guess. Welcome to the hustle and grind portion: Law of Attraction edition. Heh heh. Naw. I mean it. This blog is part of my flow.

Anyway, Hot n Sour soup and a warm comforter will probably help most. I’m going to try to keep #FlashFicFeb up. Day 10 was rough. I haven’t started it or Day 11 yet. I’ll get there. Gotta get the creative juices flowing again.

Have a lovely weekend. Stay hydrated. Please get lots of rest, vitamins, sunshine and fresh air. See ya soon.

Photo by Dina on Pexels.com

Fibro “my” algia

It’s a pain in my neck and everywhere else. Literally.

I don’t wish this thing on anyone.

Ever have a bout of the flu where it hurts to get out of bed because you feel like you’ve been beaten with a sack of hammers? Not to identify too closely with the diagnosis, but that’s what I feel like every day. Some days, it’s one hammer at a time and those hammers are huge.

Some days are better than others. The last couple of days qualify under “others.” Yup, I’ve been down and out. I’m just grateful to be alive.

For those who know, there are a host of other fun issues that come with chronic pain like depression, neuropathy, and brain fog. It will never be mistaken for a fun time. Oh, and what’s even more fun is when people attempt to tell me that only women have this problem. Surprise. No, guys have it too. Maybe guys don’t talk about it as much.

Anyway, that’s my short personal share for the day. More to come. I really want to finish a couple of D&D adventures in the next day or two. I’ve got #FlashFicFeb day 3 coming up soon, and I’m working on some Power Rangers stuff although it would be amazing if Renegade would answer my requests for customer service, post my review, contact me… I’m also itching to get some other games rolling if I have the time and energy. So many projects, so little time. See ya soon.

Freedom Day! Sixth Month Edition.

Getting fired from a job I was really starting to despise was practically a relief. Every month I celebrate my personal freedom. I am so happy and grateful for all of life’s experiences.

I’ve been at this since July 19, 2021.

Since then, I’ve had many wonderful, warm, happy, spiritual experiences. It’s been mostly peaceful, downright pleasant. About the only downside has been the change in stable income. I went from a level I was very comfortable with to, uh… yeah. Still working on that one. But it’s all good.

I will say I don’t miss the grind. We’re getting by okay on one income. The bills are covered. Personally, I’m working on some writing projects and looking for writing jobs so I can pass the goodness onto my friends in the TTRPG community and elsewhere.

There are literally no regrets otherwise. All the crapola that came with that job otherwise? They can keep it. I wish I could say more, but I don’t feel like getting sued. I am a big believer in karma, though.

It was never exactly the plan I intended.

I really mean it. Please take care of your needs and those of your loved ones.

My intentions looked a lot different originally. I intended to be wealthy with a steady enough stream of income to retire somewhere in the Pacific Northwest US and never effectively be heard from again aside from social media and my written work and YouTube. (I still intend to retire to a quiet cabin next to a lake some day.) That was mid-2019, before everything totally went to pieces worldwide.

Needless to say the lockdowns/quarantines from COVID brought us closer as a family. I’m pretty happy being around my family these days. My wife has been extremely loving and understanding about the whole unemployment thing so far. Lord knows I’ve dated women before her that would have kicked me to the curb a lot sooner. Yes, the kids still tend to drive me a little batty, much like any parent, but I love them to pieces.

I originally intended to fulfill a more spiritual mission as it related to Ufology. I wanted to bridge the gap between the nuts-and-bolts ufologists and the more spiritual side of Ufology. While it may happen some day, it probably won’t be me that gets it done. Too many people have too much to lose to give up their stream of income and jaded opinions to cross over to the other side of the fence in both communities. I have more love than ever for the Experiencer community, though.

Mental Health Matters!

Therapy. Needed. Badly…

I remember that night six months ago. They met me at the door and pulled me into a side office. I knew instantly what was going down, reaffirmed by the contents of my desk sitting in a box on the table. I think we’ve all seen this before. All the specifics are kind of a blur because our mind seeks to protect us from pain/trauma. I wasn’t especially hurt or angry. More like slightly annoyed and disappointed.

Really the biggest question in my mind was what to tell the kids. My wife had often said the writing was on the Jumbotron and that it was no real surprise. Yet, my number one biggest concern was for her and the kids.

You know what? It turns out that my loving wife sees me as more than a paycheck. She totally shattered that misconception when she touched my arm and told me it was going to be okay. Not gonna lie, I cried a little over that.

Yes, I’ve had bouts of depression and anxiety since. It happens. It’s normal for many of us, despite the social stigma attached to it. “Cheer up,” and “Don’t worry,” don’t magically make depression and anxiety go away. Honest. Unemployment has done wonders for my anxiety, though. There’s less to worry about when I’m home all day with the cats and no shitz to give otherwise.

My inner critic calls me everything from “deadbeat” to “freeloading loser.”

To him, I say, “Go fly a kite. Soaked in gasoline. In Hell. Don’t care.”

You might have guessed by now that I still need therapy. I’m still in therapy. I was going back to my therapist before they canned me because things had gotten pretty grim mental health wise, anyway. Truthfully, I was pretty relieved not having to go back to that place.

Who knows? Another six months of therapy might even see me wanting to be around people again. I might even go see if I can get hired as a door greeter at the local Wally World. Between my physical and mental health, we know for sure there are certain jobs I won’t touch ever again.

At least I can proudly say my mental health is improving. I know there are a lot of people quitting their jobs right now because they’re tired of the crap. Love them. They’re doing the right thing for it. Employers need to learn what they can’t get away with if they want to retain people. You know what’s truly crazy? Working somewhere that pays less than what one is worth, for long hours, crappy benefits, and harsh criticism.

That’s probably the thing that drove me into therapy the most. It’s one thing to criticize someone’s job performance in the name of improving the company. I get that. But when they literally tell you to internalize that they think you’re less than mediocre? Another reason for me to NEVER set foot in an office environment again. Sorry, I just don’t have the personal resources to handle that. Again, I believe in karma.

I got the boot a couple of weeks after that total downer of a review. No surprise, really. Just annoying. Treat people the way you would want them to treat you. And middle finger on each hand up to corporate America for some of their contrary values.

I am a spiritual being having a physical experience. When I’m not afraid to die, I’m not afraid of anything that can be said to me. However, I still have feelings and free will. Luckily, I choose in every now moment to stay calm, forgive, and remember we’re all here on the Earth plane to have these types of (crappy) experiences. Some day I’ll tell you what all I’ve learned. LOL!

Not a millionaire yet. Just going for joy.

Time to get creative!

I’m not going to do the whole sappy happiness-over-money bit. Money serves a very important function in society. It buys me a lot of things that brings joy, plus it helps people. I love wealth and prosperity. I admire people who have more than I do. Sure. Why begrudge anyone their happiness and prosperity? We should all be so fortunate.

That all said, I can write for enjoyment. I’m not fighting through the chronic pain every day to crawl into work just to be miserable some more. (God/Source/Universe bless you if you do.) I don’t have an overzealous middle management supervisor breathing down my neck and I’m not just a meaningless cog in the corporate machine any more. Years of stress and not taking care of myself in the name of the almighty dollar left me with a wrecked body and tons of pain. Please, do yourself a favor and take care of you, too.

Now, I’m waiting for the good graces of government and/or a remote job to come through. Otherwise, I’m writing for fun and ttrpg money. I’m going to stamp my own personal NaNoWriMo on a month coming up assuming everyone is healthy (and nothing else is going on) to knock out my first actual novel.

What’s all this TTRPG business about?

DMSGuild.com Just one of the places I want to get published.

For those unfamiliar with the term, TTRPG stands for Table Top Role Playing Game. Some would recognize Dungeons & Dragons as probably the most popular ttrpg on the market today. Of course there are literally hundreds of ttrpgs out there in the world in every genre imaginable with as many systems as one would care to learn.

I discovered a very warm, very welcoming #ttrpg community on Twitter a few months ago after the AƱjali fracas left a very bad taste in my mouth. My new online friends have helped me realize that running, writing, and discussing roleplaying games truly does make me happy. Remember that whole joy thing? Yeah. That’s my joy.

Plus, having all this time off because employers want to hire me about as bad as I want to work for some of them has given me a lot of time to learn interesting new skills and embrace old ones. I’m getting back into blogging, web design, and social media a bit. Maybe I’ll even do some freelance work along those lines eventually.

I’m looking at dropping some of my own written ttrpg work onto DriveThruRPG, the DMSGuild and possibly starting something on Itch.IO going forward along with some freelance writing jobs in the industry. I’m aspiring for that electrum best seller spot on OneBookShelf.com on at least one of their affiliate sites. Years of being turned down by game companies have taught me the best way into the industry is to just do the darn thing and publish it myself.

This year is looking up so far. Yes, steady income is cool and all, but doing something I love to the point where it is almost indistinguishable from daily living is priceless. Plus I have more family time than ever, which has been nice.

That’s why my blog has mostly changed. I’m still dropping some spiritual stuff here and there along with my personal shares. Mostly, my goal is to post about that which really lights me up now or things I’m passionate about one way or the other. This might be the last Freedom Day update for a while. I’ll keep everyone posted if things change.

If you want to help out and keep this blog going, please consider a donation on Ko-Fi.

This Just Got a Little Worse.

My wife and oldest son tested positive for COVID 19 today. Wish me luck.

Honestly, I’d rather blog about anything but this.

My wife popped a fever of 103.9 yesterday and was up half the night with body racking chills. She finally went to the doctor and took my oldest son with her hoping it was a simple cold or maybe Influenza A.

Would anyone like to guess what happened at the doctor’s office? Yup. They ran a Covid test. Annnd now a third of my family officially has the Icky Cough-Coughs. I’m hoping that’s as far as it goes in this house.

I’m literally sanitizing things as I pass by them at this point. My immune system is really not equipped to handle major illnesses as well as I’d like. Plus I’m now single dad and nurse to a family of six while my wife recovers. For added fun, one of the cats honked up a furball on the bed for me to stick my hand in. (Euww…)

Remember how I said I’d pretty much had my share of dealing with this thing? Yeah… I’m so over it. Article can be found here.

My writing projects may fall behind. My blog is one of the only things keeping me sane at this point, so please anticipate regular updates unless I get sick. Please remember to eat all your veggies, drink lots of water and get regular sleep. I’m grateful for all of you. Take care.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com
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