Freedom Day, DECember Edition

https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

Hard to believe it’s December already.

Christmas is right around the corner. I’m still without any kind of meaningful employment if anyone was wondering. Not that I’m bitter, but more on that in a moment. I have started an account on Ko-Fi if you want to buy me a cup of coffee or contribute to my kids’ college funds.

My Ko-Fi Can be Found Here:
https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

I really do.

I want to share some love with the people who have been here for me through the year. It’s been…

Good at times. We’ve experienced some real abundance. I’ve felt the “Flow” at times as we say in Law of Attraction circles. I’m going to drop a ton of Instagram links below in a movie-credit style roll for those interested in making new friends. It’s been a good year, in many respects.

Then there was the not-as-amazing stuff. Being unemployed is a blessing and a curse. (Again, more on that later.) Our health held up. Our roof stayed attached through all of the wind storms. Christmas is looking very bright this year. We’re still kicking butt as a single income house so far. Ya know, I keep coming up with all these things to be grateful for, almost like my Higher Self is showing me what to say?

Like, maybe you can’t be super high vibe all the time, but the lows aren’t so low, either. I will honestly say, I’ve had some struggles with depression, anxiety, anger, and pain this year. Depression and pain being the absolute worst of it, but I’ve managed to pull through. The valleys aren’t as deep any more and the hills aren’t as tough to climb.

Okay, taking a minute to spit a little anger at a few groups, because duality exists.

First, I’d like to put a big middle finger in the air up to corporate America. I especially have a mean-on for one specific industry that I can’t mention here for the potential of getting sued. But let’s just say it doesn’t bode well for any of the suit-n-tie-wearing, bottom-line-toting, conference-room-team-meeting, SMART-goal-fucking, overinflated, top-heavy, corporate McAssholes of the world when you treat people like absolute shit and then get around to firing them. In an ironic twist, I hear people are leaving some of those corporate jobs in droves because of shitastic working conditions and poor treatment by management, anyway. Good for them!

Second, another KissMyAss award goes out to #ufotwitter. Yes. You’ve earned it. Stop being pompous, overinflated egoic, know-it-all naysayers who allow no one a differing opinion or outlook. For people fighting for Disclosure and want to “believe” in ETs, UFOs, UAPs or whatever you’re calling them this week? Y’all got a funny way of showing it. Probably because you know the minute meaningful ET contact is made or Disclosure ends publicly, you’re going to have to shut up and your book deal will be gone. Meanwhile, all the government funded disinformation agents and shills out there are finally going to be out of their jobs, too. But, take heart. I hear Iowa Workforce Development will retrain you as an arc welder or dental hygienist for free.

Third, the State of Iowa could sink into the center of the Earth any day now for what it’s worth. Hopefully they can build bridges to connect other states over the crater. We’ll probably find some way to blame the Governor Kim Reaper for it. Our Cov-Icky-Cough-Coughs numbers are higher than most Third World Nations and our employment outlook is horrible. Iowa Workfarce Enforcement only cares about one set of uneducated-but-skilled laborers. If you have a college degree, get ready to step down and take it in the butt or go without a job. But if you’re fresh out of high school or suddenly disillusioned with UFOlogy and can follow instructions like a good little drone, they want you.

A Couple of Other Thoughts While We’re Here.

COVID… I’ve seen so much freakin rhetoric about vax vs anti-vax and mask vs anti-mask. And again, see that bright red state in the middle of the map with the outrageous uptick in reported outbreaks? Yeah… Get your shots or don’t. Wear a mask or don’t. Make the decision for yourself. Just stop talking about it, please. Save our sanity.

Mainstream Media- I have a journalism degree for cryin out loud. (Not that it’s ever made a huge difference.) You know what one of the first things I cut out of my life right after I graduated was? Watching any kind of news broadcast or reading any news outside of the occasional YouTube video or article from an independent website. Even then, I take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Please, do yourselves a favor this holiday season and in life and turn the TV off, stop listening to the bobble headed idiots on morning radio, put the newspaper down, and go outside for some fresh air. Screw politics. To Hell with what the Kardashians are doing now. Fuck COVID. Let the Chinese do whatever they’re going to do today. Ignore Trump entirely. Just go get some fresh air and appreciate the world around you. You’re gonna be so much better off for it.

Let’s talk about that whole “being unemployed” thing for a few.

This is not a dis on people with jobs. We all gotta do what we gotta do. Love ya for it.

Personally, if I never set foot in an office again to work, it’s not gonna hurt my feelings. I’m productive from right here at home. Yes, I’m struggling right now because no one sees my value. I can write. I know I can. I have yet to land a writing gig. Yes, I know what’s on my résumé It says I’ve been beaten more times than your college baseball team. But it doesn’t say a thing about me or what I’m capable of. Iowa Workless Defamation doesn’t see it. The locals aren’t hiring for anything I want to do and finding a remote job is like… Geez, I can’t even come up with a good comparison any more because it pretty much sucks!

Yes, I would love to have a “career” again. Quite honestly, being a stay-at-home dad is starting to feel a little like freeloading. This is not exactly fulfilling my life purpose or seeing my mission as a lightworker out, but it’s not horrible, either. I would love to be bringing in some money for roof repairs, a new vacuum cleaner, or whatever else comes up next. I mean, four kids. It’s always something.

LOL! Did I mention that Ko-Fi link? https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

People whom I wish to give much credit this year. Thank you friends, family, and Earthly teachers:

First Off, Thank you Heather Craigmile, loving wife and mother of our four kids. (No links.) She’s shy. Sorry folks.

Here’s a list of some of my friends on Instagram in no particular order:

  • Laura DiBenedetto: @lauraldibenedetto
  • Shane: @thespiritofthecosmos
  • Sharon: @candidly_sharonh
  • Andrea Garris: @a.l.garris
  • Dr Julia Colangelo @drjuliacolangelo
  • Alana Weinberg: @healwithalana

I had to leave a few people off for privacy reasons. And if I left you off, please know I still love you! Thank you!

A Man without a Country

Every time I see one of those cute concentric circles on Twitter with everyone’s massive friends groups and it brings back that tired old feeling left over from grade school. You know. The kid that’s always the last one picked? That’s me. Story of my life. No lie, I remember a couple of times in middle school and high school when they completely skipped me, leaving me without a team.

We humans are social animals. I guess.

It’s funny. Every time I see one of those cute concentric circles on Twitter with everyone’s massive friends groups and it brings back that tired old feeling left over from grade school. You know. The kid that’s always the last one picked? That’s me. Story of my life. No lie, I remember a couple of times in middle school and high school when they completely skipped me, leaving me without a team.

I’m here to tell you. That sh*t hurt! It’s one thing to get picked last. I get that. I mean, someone has to be last, right? Sure. But not to get chosen at all? Ouch. That was somewhat trauma-inducing. Science is now showing that stuff stays with us all the way into adulthood.

I’ve always had trouble making friends.

Maybe it’s astrological. I’m a Cancer. We don’t necessarily socialize well.

Maybe it’s divine. Maybe it’s just in my soul contract that I’m not designed to be super popular or even have a ton of friends. Why did I sign up for that? Who the heck knows? I’ll let you know when I see my Akashic Record. There’s bigger mysteries out there, I suppose.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m in plenty of communities, at least on social media. Plenty of people know me on social media, or my persona, anyway. I just always have to wonder, if I closed my accounts today, would anyone notice? I’m still around, but it makes me wonder.

Ufology is kind of a split community. You’ve got the nuts-and-bolts crowd, the spiritual crowd, and the conspiracy crowd. There’s also the “abduction”/contactee/experiencer community, which is almost a group unto itself. There are some overlaps. We all want the government to cough up what they know. Everything else is pretty much up for grabs as to how and why. After the Añjali thing, I’m not sure if any of us will ever be right again.

The “New Age” spiritual community has its own special share of differing opinions. There are so many variations on how, what, and who to believe it’s hard to pin anything down beyond a mutual love of each other and Source. Again, there’s a lot of overlap, but then it gets wild.

Writers are a funny lot. Sure, we encourage each other. But at the same time, there’s always a subtle air of mistrust and competition. It’s like I hope you do well, but don’t steal my stuff! Overall, writers can be a pretty aloof bunch. Not really my jam, but I like NaNoWriMo.

Back to my own roots.

After a somewhat rocky couple of months in the Ufology community, I took an extended break. I went back and visited my friends in the worlds of tabletop roleplaying games. The Dungeons & Dragons crowd is relatively warm and welcoming. I guess 40+ years of being mocked, picked-on, and called names makes for solid bonding amongst fellows. I know D&D is currently riding the wave of popularity, but even after the wave subsides, we’ll still have a hobby.

Sure, conflicts arise in any group, but how they are handled within the community is what defines it. Gamers eventually forgive and forget most offenses. It’s just easier to move on and keep having fun than hold grudges over what is supposed to be a social exercise.

That having been said, do I have a group? Yeah. My family. I’m happy, grateful and proud my kids are picking up the hobby. I have plenty of folks I know on Twitter and Instagram in the hobby. But, again… besties? Well, not so much.

The lesson here is: Don’t put too much stock in what people on social media think.

I like social media, generally speaking. I spend some time on there. Sure, who doesn’t? I mean, there are probably plenty of people, but I think a lot of folks do have some contact with one of the big social media platforms.

It’s not the end-all and be-all of modern existence. A lot of spiritual folk will tell you to detox from social media by taking some time off or deleting it altogether. Ironically, they usually spread the word using one of those social media platforms. But do as they say, and not as they do, right? It’s good advice. I take week long breaks from time to time.

At the end of all this, I’m still a beautiful divine being having a (somewhat mediocre, shitty,) physical experience. I don’t 100% need or even want social acceptance or even contact of any kind some days. Sorta makes me wonder if I have a form of undiagnosed autism or something… I wonder if I’ll ever have any kind of meaningful impact on society or anyone, ever as far as that goes. If a light goes on in the forest and there are no squirrels around to see it, do any woodland creatures notice?

There is more to this acceptance story as it relates to work. We’ll examine that idea in another article this week. Wait until I get on a tear about being hired… Until then, take care.

See you in another article real soon!

Already?!?

God bless my wife for keeping the family going. Thank you, Heather, if you see this, for putting up with my antics for this long. You deserve a medal.

It’s the 19th already?!? Where does the time go?

This might be my last post on this blog. I haven’t fully decided yet. I guess I’ll let you know. It’s Freedom Day for me. It’s been four months since I had a “real” job.

God bless my wife for keeping the family going. Thank you, Heather, if you see this, for putting up with my antics for this long. You deserve a medal.

Time to get a little more vulnerable than usual. It’s been a rough month for me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Let me try to put this together in a way that will make sense. Please pardon my ramble in advance.

To the handful of people that read this, I thank you. You are truly appreciated.

Me.

This blog has been a kind of learning lab for me. Figuring out what to do, what not to do, and what all is possible. It’s been a labor of love. But I’m here to tell ya, family- this last month has really made me question a good number of things in my life.

First setback of the month was:

Let’s start at the top with the Añjali debacle. She announced that the Mojave expedition is permanently on hold due to the health concerns of the man who owns the land that the tunnel to the underground base sits on. It was a huge disappointment for some and an even bigger I-told-ya-so for the asinine turds of #ufotwitter. I guess yay for them, but it’s a huge setback for some of us.

It’s big old double whammy for those of us in the UFO and Spiritual communities. I mean I’ve been called a “New Ager woo-woo freak” by the nuts-and-bolts guys before because I’m spiritually active and listen to channelers, CE-5, meditate regularly, and so on. I really think someone should unite the communities. Añjali could have been that link, but too many people were protecting their vested interests and cash cows to listen. So, any credibility some of us freaks had in the UFO world is more disrupted than ever. ETs could land on my front lawn complete with video and #ufotwitter would say it was fake.

Añjali wasn’t necessarily the great white hope. We knew there was a possibility that she could be involved in a psyop to discredit, dismantle, and disrupt both the Ufology and spiritual communities. Personally, I don’t think she is, but I acknowledge that it’s possible. Then again, Lue Elizondo could be doing the same thing and there are plenty of people eating right out of his proverbial hands, too. I’ve said on Twitter and elsewhere that Añjali should have gone to the experiencer/contactee or spiritual channeling communities with her information instead of UFO (a$$holes) Twitter. But hey, like so many others, she shut me down and refuses to answer my Direct Messages. Again, the skeptic in me sees a false flag operation, but who knows…

It was NaNoWriMo Month again, too.

I’m unemployed. Technically every month could/should be NaNoWriMo. Family support is important if you intend to bang out an entire book in one month. I have five other people and three cats that all need love and attention on any given day so it just didn’t come together. I may actually start a novel yet this month, but there’s no pressure, no writing buddies, or any of the usual NaNo flair. It’ll be okay.

Found me a new community.

My English teachers and editors would be losing their ever loving minds over that header, but whatever. I have gone back into my #ttrpg roots, and that may be what this blog changes over to soon. Again, I guess we’ll see. I kinda like having a place for personal shares, but I have only this humble paid-for space and I would really love the Premium package for my gaming ventures. TTRPG stands for TableTop RolePlaying Games, for those who don’t know.

So, yeah, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a huge Dungeons and Dragons fan and have been pretty much my whole life. I started gaming back in the early 1980’s and have been at it for almost 40 years. But it’s always been a hobby and a writing venture. I have yet to sell anything in the industry. I’ve worked in game stores. I’ve sold a lot of games over the years. But, always a bridesmaid, so to speak.

That brings us to the next point.

I’ve had to spend lots of meaningful time with my friends at Iowa Workforce Development this month to ensure my unemployment check didn’t get cut off completely. I’ve gotten to attend all kinds of fun meetings to make sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I guess that’s what they get paid the big bucks for, but at the same time, they’re not actually doing anything for me, aside from my unemployment check.

I also got an anonymous message from a former co-worker with a juicy tidbit that confirmed some of my suspicions. I wish I could say a LOT more without jeopardizing my severance and NDAs, but I can’t. Somebody should, though. To quote the Matrix, Cypher told Morpheus “If you’d told us the truth, we would’ve told you to shove that red pill right up your ass.” That’s true of my severance package, but my family needed the money, so it’s a tough choice and I ultimately made the right decision.

That said, my job search has thus far been a running joke with me. Honestly, if I never work a “real job” again, it’ll be too soon. I like being my own boss, setting my own hours, and giving myself a pat on the back for being my employee of the month. Unfortunately, IWD has a hard time seeing this. They have an obvious agenda. I’m not part of that equation.

They told us in one of their little “classes” that they want people to fill what they refer to as the “middle skills” roles. In other words, they want people who have completed high school, but haven’t been to college. They want dental hygienists, welders, truck drivers and nurses. Do I fit that description? Hell no! Do I want to take a pay cut and do something I’m going to be absolutely miserable doing? F*ck No!!! I will literally embrace homelessness for myself (and only myself) before I will ever go back to the 9-5 grind doing something just for the sake of doing it.

And they keep trying to tell us “Oh, it’s so meaningful. So many people find their life purpose doing this…” No. No, people really don’t find it meaningful or fulfilling. In fact, it makes me sick to my stomach to hear the IWD people rattle on about fulfilling it is to sleep, eat, work, repeat and how everything else is just a fun hobby. Again, I get that it’s what they’re paid to do, but it’s not an enlightened, spiritually aware thing to do.

My whole resume is disgustingly full of the kinds of jobs they’re talking about. No offense to anyone, but I think I’d rather die than go back to just about any of those jobs. The pay is mediocre. The hours are long and unfulfilling. There is no appreciation from management most of the time. The benefits are crappy. Worst of all, my health will not support that kind of work ever again in an office or any other environment.

Lol! This is getting long. To be continued…

Oh Freedom Day!

I AM realistic. I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!!!

I’ve been liberated from the grind of 12 hour work days for three months!

I want to preface this with the thought: Be responsible! Don’t do anything rash on account of what somebody on the Internet said. I wouldn’t be here right now were it not for the kindness and understanding of my family. For that I am extremely grateful.

If you’re working hard to keep food on the table, keep going. You got this!

Things I’m grateful for since freedom came to me:

  • I’m my own boss and my own employee of the month.
  • Freedom from McCorporate Team environment.
  • The slow 12 hour workday trudge to the grave is no more.
  • Time for my family.
  • Time for my own health and sanity.
  • Setting my own schedule.
  • Deciding my own fate over putting money in their pockets.

Hallelujah! I am so happy and grateful to be free on this day! This is proof that the Law of Attraction really does work. It’s not always easy or painless, but it does come together in its own special way. We live in a benevolent Universe. I believe in good things and they are there for me. I AM realistic. I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!!!

I’ve worked toward manifesting this moment right here, right now. I’m my own boss, working my own hours, reporting to me. I’m my own employee of the month. This guy is truly moving onward and upward. I give me all kinds of praise and good reviews. Gotta keep that vibration up, though.

My Chairman of the Board. Taken from my mobile office/studio. I love this guy!

I’m so happy and grateful to be free from the corporate environment. If that’s your thing, great. You do that. Me? I’m my own boss. Technically still unemployed by the current socioeconomic cultural matrix standards, but that’s their label, not mine. I find things that are awesome about me.

It’s like finding inner peace on a whole new level. I set my own standards for success. I’m happy being me. It’s beautiful. There’s no one breathing down my neck. There are no performance “SMART” goals. No upper-middle-lower management clowns to bug me. No one setting standards they can’t meet themselves. My life is beautiful now that the greasy corporate mentality is all washed out of my system. I only get on my own case if I need to, and I’m learning to be more gentle with myself.

Teams? I’m it. It’s just me. The whole corporate team concept is broken. I’ve seen it fall apart or just plain fail for over 20 years now. You have a group of five to ten employees (sorry, “teammates” because we can’t just call people what they are) sitting around a table, forced to make small talk and participate in fakey fake team-building exercises that no one truly enjoys, and then one or two people end up doing any real work. It’s sad. I’m so happy and grateful to be a one man show.

I’m going to do a whole article on why the team thing doesn’t work. I’ve always had problems with it as a sociologist. It looks great on paper, but then you come out here in the real world and well, it looked great on paper.

Photo by Vinta Supply Co. | NYC on Pexels.com

I’m so happy and grateful to be free of “the trudge.” I report to me, on my time, and I love it! I know I say it a lot. Before I started working toward manifesting my dreams, it was a long, slow, painful, miserable, insufferable trudge toward the grave. Every day and night looked the same. Now every day- Every. Single. Day. is an adventure! Sometimes it’s just a nap with the cats or sitting on the couch while scarfing junk food and playing video games, but I’m allowed some free time. I’m excited to wake up in the morning. It’s genuine.

Time for my family is very important to me and I am grateful now that I have more of it. I missed out on over a decade with my three older boys while I was working nights. I’m happy to be free to take them to school, pick them up, and just spend some quiet time with them. I see more of my wife now. I’m happy to be supportive on the home front.

Time for my own health and sanity is so amazing now! I suffered so much at my last job, I mean truly suffered, that I put myself back in therapy. I’m still dealing with some psychological junk in the trunk, sure. I still have chronic pain, arthritis, fibromyalgia, and depression issues. Sure. that’s the tired old labels talking. Here’s the kicker- I’m healing. I don’t have to rush out the door after barely having enough time to eat, sleep, shower, and maybe wave at my family on the way by. I’m here to tell you, being free is its own reward.

I get to decide when I eat, work, even nap now. My wife is about the only person who gets to object to anything, and she’s pretty cool about my schedule most days. Thanks, Honey!

It might not make sense to a lot of people. Many do work weird rotating 4 x 12 hour nights or some other freaky calendar nightmare. We can still exchange knowing looks. Working oddball, non-nine-to-five hours really can take a toll on one’s sanity. I’m glad to be free. I’m still and always will be a Nocturnal American, though.

I’m looking at NaNoWriMo next month as a serious possibility. Pretty sure I can hit word counts and page goals per day and then some. It’s just so nice to be able to sit down and work on things without all the pressure. My wife might roll her eyes, but I can make it work. It’s ideal this year, really. You’ll know if I go quiet for all of November.

No longer getting up every day to put money in the pockets of people who don’t care about anyone else.

If I do anything now, it puts money in MY pocket. I love helping people out, sure. That’s what we’re here for. But the thing I’m absolutely loving more than words can tell is that I’m no longer subjected to artificial concepts like sales goals, target savings goals, and other artificial standards that all translate to putting money in some executive’s pockets. Seriously, why bust my hump every night, just so the company I’m working for can outsource everything from custodians to human resources in the name of saving money.

You know who profits from the toils of corporate employees? Corporate executives. These people are no different than anyone else except for the fact that they got a slap on the back and a handshake that put them in a corner office. We no longer live in a world where you work your way to the top from the ground floor. (Not sure if that ever really existed.) These managers and executives don’t care if one of their cubicle inmates works hard or knows what they’re doing. It’s all about the bottom line.

Here’s the kicker- Entrepreneurs worry about their own bottom line. That’s were I am today. That’s the threshold I’m presently standing on. It’s exciting! I’m a writer first and foremost now. The whole profits-before-people thing is dead to me now.

I encourage writers, artists, musicians, dancers and anyone else with a dream to shed the corporate grind and go have a free life. Yes. Be responsible. Take care of yourself and your family first. But beyond that? Please go on out and live your dream life!

Create the life you want to life!

Thank you for being here. Stay safe. See you again soon.

Simpler Times?

…things predicted for 2020 in the game- Large corporations have basically taken over the world, government is crumbling and civil unrest is everywhere.

Back in the day I used to be really big on a game called Cyberpunk 2020. It is a tabletop roleplaying game centered around a dystopian future where Megacorporations run everything, Governments are destabilized and the US is fragmented into different territories. It’s not the bright and shiny future, but it’s not exactly the apocalypse yet, either. The “cyber” (cyborg) is because the replacement of body parts with various enhanced prosthesis had become commonplace. The “punk” came from the groups of people dissatisfied with the corps, the cops, the government or whomever and took up arms against them, or sometimes just for profit.

Cyberpunk 2020 RPG
R Talsorian Games

No, this isn’t my gamer blog. For many years, since high school all the way up through about 2000, that was pretty much my philosophy. Corporations are evil. Government is just a big corporation, and well, I don’t much care for cops, either. That was the old paradigm, anyway.

What changed? I started having children. Suddenly another good old paradigm came into play- If you have a family, you have to have a job, right? And that thought construct could be stretched even further to say- if you have to be a breadwinner, sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do, like have a stable job that pays well. No more chasing dreams or rebelling against the system.

While I don’t have a metallic spine and artificial pancreas, the device in my hand is about a thousand times more powerful than the computers we had back in the 1980’s. Most of western culture is immersed in the internet. Paper is somewhat a thing of the past and Bio Diesel and Ethanol have become a large part of the fuel industry. My least favorite things predicted for 2020 in the game- Large corporations have basically taken over the world, government is crumbling and civil unrest is everywhere.

I spoke to Mike Pondsmith many years ago. I asked about the evolution of CP2020 from the original Cyberpunk 2013 edition. He said plainly, “The times just caught up to us.” And it’s happened with various incarnations of the game. We’re up to Cyberpunk 2077 now, I think? And while the transhumanist agenda hasn’t quite taken hold, many things predicted in the game have come to fruition in 2020.

Photo by ahmed adly on Pexels.com

Worse yet, to me, is that I effectively sold out to a large corporation. In my defense, I did start as a custodian there. I have lots of love for anyone doing that job, especially these days. And then, the best/worst thing possible happened- I got transferred to the fuel department as a dispatcher.

Yay promotion! Great for the family! Sour as all get-out for the soul. Still is. Yes, I’m a soul having a human experience, but I’m here to tell ya, this human experience has fallen on some pretty suckie times. I mean, I used to simply believe being a cubicle inmate was a bad way to go out. And, really that hasn’t changed.

Here’s where the kinda deeper conflict comes in. Cognitive dissonance, even. Existential dissonance, one might say. I have a family to take care of, and I love them, but I still refuse to believe man should be stuck in a cubicle, living to turn in spreadsheets and emails at the end of the day. It was such a simple ideal to carry when I was young and unattached.

Just about the time I am firmly convinced the upper-middle management overlords are going to finally drop the bomb on me, boot me out of the office, let me be free- I find out I’m working just hard enough to keep the job. More to come…

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