Freedom Day +1 Year, +1 Month, +1 Day.

…right up until I look around me or I look in my wallet. I’m cool right up until we have another discussion about bills or my kids want to stop at the Burger King drive-through. I’m one happy sonuvagun as long as I’m out in nature, away from the commercial world, with no distractions.

Everything works out in divine timing.

Despite all of the adversity, all of the struggle, and all of the nonsense that has gone down since- I’m still here. I don’t miss it. I get to spend my time doing what I want to do. To think I chose this. WE chose this.

Earth life can be tiring. As a luminous spiritual being having a physical experience beyond the Veil of Forgetfulness on a 3D/4D planet, we volunteered for this. I can’t definitively say “Earth is ascending.” Maybe it is? It’s no 2020, but after this past year in my life? There’s a lot of things I wonder about.

I try to imagine it other ways.

What if I was still working in that place? (That fired me.) I was about at the end of my rope with them anyway. The PTSD is real, folks. Maybe not war-in-Afghanistan real, but real enough. If it weren’t for all of the NDA crap I had to sign for my severance package, I’d have some four letter words for certain people even now. (But we wouldn’t want someone trawling my social media for lawsuit fuel. LOL!)

What if I had fled town with some meager possessions? What if I had a tuna salad sandwich for breakfast? Who knows what might have taken place in alternate timelines? We may never know. The way time works is a very freaky thing to us. Then again, reality might be a mystery compared to what we <think> it is.

Someone very wise keeps reminding me I’m not a victim.

I’ll admit I’m stubborn. I might be a bit thick headed when it comes to certain lessons. I have to be reminded regularly that life happens as a result of choices we make. Experiences happen for us, not to us. There’s no one else pulling all the strings. It starts and stops with us.

Choices lead to suffering. Suffering leads to depression. Depression leads to sitting on the couch for days not wanting to make any more choices that could potentially hurt again. Yup. Being honest. Do I choose to feel depressed? Hell no!

Maybe brain chemistry plays into depression cycles a bit. Sleep, stress, and other physiological concerns affect hormones and brain chemistry. Depression is an ugly cycle that feeds on itself in a downward spiral. The only way out is through. Getting out of an old pattern usually involves making a choice to start a new habit or rework an old one.

Previous generations hid their physical and emotional pain.

Not me. My generation grew up with way more psychological education. Good old Gen X with our Ritalin and Prozac growing up. The stigma of being labeled as “crazy” was just starting to come off. That nice President of the US during the 1980’s was even nice enough to deinstitutionalize a lot of people.

I don’t have all of the numbers in front of me, but I know mental healthcare is on another rapid decline in this country and in Iowa specifically. It might be the only thing going downhill faster than education, and that’s a sad state of affairs.

My dad’s generation never talked about their feelings. They drank, smoked, gambled, did dope, and had sex to distract from all of their problems. The men of that era were badasses. Unfortunately that meant we, their children, never learned to talk about our feelings in a meaningful way and inherited all those distractions.

It’s not that they didn’t feel pain. I’m sure the problems may people in older generations experienced were more harsh than the ones we face today. Sometimes the farther back one goes, the worse it seems in terms of physical labor, political strife, emotional trauma, and so on.

Depression is real.

Just ask my therapist, or really any therapist. I am not my feelings. I am a person who feels things. It’s tough to remember that sometimes. I choose how I feel. And yet, I still feel depressed? Can’t I just choose to be happy all the time?

Yeah, right up until I look around me or I look in my wallet. I’m cool right up until we have another discussion about bills or my kids want to stop at the Burger King drive-through. I’m one happy sonuvagun as long as I’m out in nature, away from the commercial world, with no distractions. Peaceful, quiet times are truly some of the happiest times for me.

I can’t just go live in a cave off the grid somewhere or I would have probably done it by now. Sometimes life is about choices we didn’t make. I could choose to be in physical and emotional pain every day at a job I don’t care about that leaves me incredibly unfulfilled. But I’m a heck of a lot happier this way than I was then.

Rome wasn’t built in a day.

I’ve been at this human business for 50+ years now. The more answers I find, the more questions I have. It’s a never-ending cycle of experiences and discovery. I’m not going to have it all figured out in one night.

Thanks for listening to me vent. I’m grateful you’re here. I appreciate you! Back to more gaming content after this. Deep discussion again soon, too.

It’s Awakened, Not “Woke.”

In other words, it’s not about the destination, but about the journey. Cliché maybe? I can’t explain step by step how I got to where I am now mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Sorry, it’s complicated. What I can say is, “I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment.”

I went through a process of Spiritual Awakening back in 2015 or so.

What does that mean exactly? It’s a complicated process and personal to everyone who has it happen. Every reverend and guru on the planet has a slightly different take on what it “should” look like. I think the truth is, the meaning of finding your own truth about God/Source/Universe is unique unto the beholder.

In other words, it’s not about the destination, but about the journey. Cliché maybe? I can’t explain step by step how I got to where I am now mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Sorry, it’s complicated. What I can say is, “I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment.”

Are we talking religion here?

Absolutely not! In fact I have to be very careful with what I say around a good number of my religious friends. I just know what I have to say about organized religion will get me pushed right out the door of most places of worship. I don’t do organized religion, and they don’t want me around. I’m not a follower in those regards.

There’s two things keeping me out of church. First, would you like to guess what one of the biggest money making institutions in the U.S, if not the world is? Yup. Religion. Second, philosophically, there are certain things we just don’t see eye-to-eye on. That, and even some religions don’t agree philosophically with one another and I happen to agree with the tenets of most of them.

Am I in a cult?

LOL! Absolutely not. I don’t follow any one leader. Sure I listen to Eckhart Tolle, Lori Ladd, Russell Brand, Anna Brown, and even Andey Fellowes. I don’t think any of the above necessarily have a cult. They all have an opinion about life, the Universe, and everything. Who doesn’t?

I grew up during the 1980’s. The mere mention of the word “cult” brought to mind images of Jim Jones disaster and the Heaven’s Gate debacle. A little while later came that mess in Waco, TX. Please trust me when I say, the cult life is certainly not for me.

What got me going?

There are a number of factors that led me where I am today. The first is the notion that I think for myself. We live in the information age. Research is easier than ever. (Don’t get me going about “false” information.) I look at as many facts and opinions as I can and then make up me own mind. Kinda like politics only deeper.

The other answer I have to that question is Dr Steven Greer. I used to meditate back in high school. I used to be big on Ufology and ETs back then, too. I may have had a few experiences of my own from back then. But when I watched Unacknowledged, it made me stop and think.

There are billions of stars, many with their own planets and moons. How arrogant is it to think we’re all the life there is out of all that occupied space? Mathematically, odds are in favor of us having intelligent life in our own solar system. But here’s where the bend in the road comes- It ALL had to start somewhere.

So, do I worship “little green men?”

No. In fact many higher dimensional beings would probably tell you never to do that. That is part of what brought me to believe there has to be so much more out there. There is overwhelming evidence humans are not alone in the Universe. So then, what do they believe in?

We’re well into what-if land now. If you ponder what it means to be connected not just to each other, but the greater whole consciousness of the Universe the outcome is staggering. What if there is more to life than just these squishy bodies we wear for a time?

Paranormal evidence piles onto these conclusions. I became interested in Jerry and Esther (Abraham) Hicks in my travels. Abraham is a being channeled by Esther Hicks. They talk a lot about the Law of Attraction. That made me think even more.

Then I ran across Daniel Scranton, who channels the Ninth Dimensional Arcturian Council. My wife likes to kid me about this one, but what harm does it do? The Arcturians, perched high above in the ninth dimension, tend to send highly positive messages and advice for the growth of humanity as a species. My question is, why not? There’s no harm in anyone spreading messages like, get along with other humans and stay hydrated.

Darryl Anka is another such individual. He channels a being known as Bashar. Most of Bashar’s messages are pretty positive or minimally honest. He’s an interesting being to say the least.

One of my personal favorites is Kryon, channeled by Lee Carroll. Kryon resonates very deeply with me. He talks about a lot of the same topics as the other beings. There are way too many overlapping statements for some of these things not to be true. Kryon also speaks to the marvels inherent to unlocking the vast human potential. Deep and meaningful stuff.

It doesn’t stop there.

Almost EVERY Near Death Experience (NDE) I’ve ever heard or read goes almost the exact same way. I’ve seen way too much of this type of thing to believe in coincidences. If you’ve ever listened to someone talk about their NDE, it will track consistently with many similar stories out there from all walks of life and levels of education.

If NDEs aren’t enough, try to explain a phenomenon known as Remote Viewing. This has been employed by governments and corporations alike. It’s a psychic phenomenon wherein a viewer focuses their consciousness on a specific place and records what they find there. It’s like flying a drone and astral projection all rolled into one.

Every major religion the world over has iconography and myths relating to beings from somewhere else. Angels, demons, djinn, and otherworldly visitors appear in almost every religion. The number of possible explanations starts to narrow the more you compare notes. We might not even be the first true civilization on this planet.

I could literally go for days on this subject, but…

The reason I wanted to discuss this subject was because someone said, “F*k wokeness and cancel culture.” in a post I read earlier on Twitter. Joke’s on him. I’m not “woke” nor do I consider myself to be.

“Woke” has become a cultural phenomenon meaning any number of things (sometimes negative.) If I were to take it as I imagine it was intended? That’s not an insult. In fact, I’ll stand with my “woke” friends all day before I’ll hang with a bigot.

I’m guilty of fitting the stereotype to a certain extent. I do use as much polite terminology and non-discriminatory language as I can. I have several friends and a family member in the LGBTQIA++ community. I think Black Lives Matter.

That’s just it. Lives matter.

I think a lot of lives matter. Jewish, Asian, Hispanic, Muslim, and Trans lives matter, too. If we’re going to meet beings from other worlds, we have to stop squabbling like children over issues such as race, gender, sex, and politics. If we’re all connected and we want to be friends with other planets, we have to show we can make this one work first.

The sad part is, I’m not loved in a lot of communities because I’m perceived as a middle aged, white, cishet male. Yeah, I appear that way. No, I don’t necessarily think that way. I’ve got so much love for anyone who wishes no harm on others. Why do we keep letting petty earthly differences define us if we’re all beings of love and light in an energetic Universe?

Am I crazy?

Depends on who you ask. No, I’m not hearing strange voices that aren’t my own. (Currently.) Do I think beings in the energetic onion layers around the Earth are trying to communicate? Yeah. Probably.

Everything is energy. You, me, the table, what we call atoms. Mostly empty space and filled with energy- different frequencies, different vibrations. Nikola Tesla figured it out. It’s ALL energy.

If I’m nuts, what is CERN doing? They’re experimenting with energy. They are digging into the fabric of the Universe to try to figure out how it works. They’re monitoring energy emissions. (Among other things.)

Some basic tenets of my beliefs.

Be kind to others. Take care of one another as best we can. Spread love, joy, peace, and prosperity for everyone. Try to stay calm and understanding in the face of strife. If we can’t have peace on Earth, how can we ever interact with beings from other worlds?

That’s why I’m here discussing this today. I know of some folx in the Twitterverse that are in need of a lot of kindness and understanding right now. At some point, we have to figure out how to get along regardless of race. There are 8 Billion people here on Earth right now. For anyone to think one particular race is superior to the rest is to deny the Creator. Someday I hope maybe these people will be even a tiny bit awakened to what’s really going on.

Thank you for being here. I appreciate you. More to come.

My One Year Freedom-versary!

All I can do is speak my truth when it comes to pain. I wake up every day feeling as if I have been beaten with a sack of hammers one at a time.

Yay! or is it yay?

It’s officially been one year since I was um, uh, “released” from my job. On one hand it was a blessing. Spiritually, I’m still grateful for this on so many levels. I still have to be careful with what I say because of all the NDA and Severance Agreements. (Grrr.) On the other hand, being broke is kinda not fun…

This is going to be another bittersweet rant on my part. I’ve still got plenty of emotional and psychological scars that may never actually heal entirely. I intend to put myself on a timeline for my greatest and highest good, but it’s been some serious work getting there so far. Therapy has definitely been super helpful.

Pain. Physical, mental and emotional friggin pain.

The physical pain is one thing, but…

All I can do is speak my truth when it comes to pain. I wake up every day feeling as if I have been beaten with a sack of hammers one at a time. As a result, sometimes I have to call in sick to work, or at least that used to be the case. It got to the point where I had to apply for FMLA. My body has been used and self abused enough over the years that it just doesn’t function as well as it used to.

Fibromyalgia sucks. Arthritis sucks. Exhaustion sucks. Pain pretty much sucks. There, I said it.

I fight depression a lot. It’s been a year long battle not to feel like a total failure. I know I’m not, but sometimes I need to remind myself of that. Not having a job has left a bruise on my ego- a pretty big one.

I think some things may have been said prior to my unfortunate separation from that company that are still gnawing on me even today. Without getting into specifics, I flunked a friggin PTSD survey for crying out loud. Or passed with flying colors depending on how you look at it. (Whichever result we didn’t want? Yeah. That one.) My therapist says I’m still hanging onto a lot of anger and resentment, too.

I still can’t deal with criticism. It’s not pretty. I don’t even like going out in public. I know it sounds terrible.

Healing following the end of any relationship, including a job, takes a long time.

I’m still coping emotionally.

I keep telling myself I’m past it. I’m over it. I’m good. I’m happier without it than with it. For the most part I am over it. Really. I’m good.

Then something comes up to remind me I have zero income. My pride kinda steps in to remind me I’m not a breadwinner in a family of six. My oldest son has started busing tables at a restaurant. My next oldest is mowing lawns all summer. I’m working on… I intend to be a writer.

I turned 50 less than a month ago. It’s been a rough year. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting better. I can almost go out in public sometimes, for a short while. I’m still not big on “people-ing.” as my wife and oldest say it. Criticism tends to start a spiral ending in my poor therapist. Yeah. My therapist is awesome, though.

Some days the bear takes you to therapy.

It’s not all doom and gloom.

My wife, Heather, has been incredibly supportive through this whole thing. I’m pretty happy and grateful every day because I’m living in a house with my family. We have enough to eat. The bills are getting paid. She’s a super mom when it comes to taking care of the kids. She’s also an A+ baker.

I appreciate her a whole lot. She’s very camera shy, so no pic. Thanks, Honey!

My friend Laura DiBenedetto once asked me to draw up a list of 50 things I’m thankful for. It’s a good exercise. When you’re down it’s not as easy as it sounds, though. I think I actually did a hundred once. It’s 25 daily if you’re following The Six Habits Workbook. Regardless, the idea is I have plenty to be grateful for. I really am grateful for each and every one.

This website, my blog especially, has benefitted from me not traipsing out the door to work every day. Once toxic corporate culture wasn’t sucking the creativity and will to live out of me, I became much more productive. This blog means so very much to me. It’s been a daily endeavor for me every day since I rebranded it at the start of the year. I love writing!

Heather, family, Laura, readers, Bimoji, anyone else who I forgot.

It was for the best all around, I suppose.

Large corporations…

Was I the best employee? No. I mean, they did gimme the ax, didn’t they? Sadly, it wasn’t an issue with my skills as much as my attitude and my willingness to call bullshit when I see it. I don’t imagine the FMLA helped, but of course we can’t prove anything or really speak of such matters. BUT, it’s nice not having to be out of the house for 48 hours per week and deal with all the Mcgarbage of corporate life. I guess they did what they thought was “best for the company.”

Personally, other than missing the paycheck, I don’t miss all the bull I had to put up with (no specifics.) One of my main objections to the job, besides having one, was that I was working in an industry known to be incredibly destructive to the Earth. It was tough to reconcile spiritually every day.

In a very general sense, I believe it best to put people before profits. I also think it’s better to promote creation over destruction, which some industries globally are pretty horrible about. Last, I prefer prosperity for all over greed. Despite any company’s lip service, win-win usually doesn’t happen.

Disclaimer: Some people mistake me for a Socialist or a Communist. Now, to be fair, I have studied about both quite a bit over the years. If we’re being honest, some tenets of a socialist democracy do appeal. Unfortunately it’s prone to abuse, corruption, misinterpretation, and ultimately suffering. So, love our government and economic system in the US or hate it? Still better than the alternatives as far as I’m concerned.

My happy place.

Flowers grow in shit, too- metaphorically and practically. I ought to know. I’ve seen enough of it.

I’m grateful I’m no longer working in that awful place, or any awful place for that matter. I love my family a lot more than I hate dealing with big businesses. More importantly, being on my own in the “workforce” has been a huge blessing!

Think about it. No job gets me more time with my family. Theoretically a cleaner house. (Still working on that. See also, kids.) I get to go to ball games and roleplaying games that I wouldn’t have gotten to otherwise. My wife loves all the attention she gets these days, I think.

Not to brag, but I get to rest on the pain flare days. No one freaks out when I say I have to stay home. On the days when everyone is in school (my wife is a teacher) I get the whole house to myself. Just me and the cats. Still… I get to meditate, nap, eat stuff out of the air fryer, write, play video games, and run errands. It’s freakin amazeballs!

If anyone thinks I’m ever going back to a corporate environment of any kind, they’re sadly, tragically mistaken.

Startups, small businesses, local endeavors, individuals are more than welcome to invite me in/ hire me. (<gulp!> I guess.) I’ve been known to bend over backwards to help doing volunteer work back in ye olde days. These days, I’d work for credit on the right project. I’m not sure about working pro-bono these days, but I might consider it for the right person.

The one thing I will never go back to, short of a corner office and a six digit salary (LOL!) is a large, unfeeling, uncaring, nameless, faceless, rotten corporation. (Which ones are rotten? Umm…)

About the time anyone started talking yearly performance reviews, big meetings, (forced) peer interactions, or any of that other corporate Mc-culture crap? I’d be out the door. The last thing I want is to put myself in a position where the review makes waterboarding seem like a summer olympic event. I will never do harsh criticism again without going off and I will happily die on that hill before I let anyone tear me down.

That is one nervous breakdown I do NOT need ever again. You could call me into a meeting with six or seven people to tell me I’m employee of the year and I’ll be f’kn absent as Hell or fightin mad. I don’t care. If I even sense it in the air, I’m gone!

Jeffco’s Employee of the Year.

Let’s be honest. Working for myself is where it’s at.

Yeah, my profits have been down since January. It’s easy to claim $0 on my taxes yet. However, we’re into July without any pesky profits. It’s like we’re selling money repellant around here. Oh, wait. Okay, we’re giving away too many free samples of money repellant. Check.

(I WAS JOKING!)

All joking aside, better times are on the horizon. I’m working on new ways of monetizing my endeavors. I intend to have some kind of income flowing within the next year. It’s going to get better. Seriously, that’s the next hill I’m willing to die on so to speak.

I truly love being my own boss. I haven’t applied to work at someone else’s business since February. Really, it’s the best way for me to go. I’m happy like this. I’m free to do just about anything I set my mind to. I wish I had come up with a plan to do this years ago.

I’m going to consider doing some freelance or contract work in the coming year. It’s similar to working completely for myself and it pays better. I’m also going to get something published one of these days, even if it’s small, electronic (pdf) publication to start getting myself out there. Part of the key to getting discovered is appearing somewhere, right?

THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!

Seriously. I can’t think you enough. I appreciate you being here. I love having readers. I love having people visit the site. You’re awesome! Thank you!

I love you all!
You ARE valued.
Photo by Katie Rainbow ud83cudff3ufe0fu200dud83cudf08 on Pexels.com

Please practice kindness. Embrace joy!

I bet someone scrolled down this far to see if I posted a different picture of me in a unicorn costume. Mmm hmm.

Personal Share: Things I’m Avoiding

I’ve had more ups and downs that a yo-yo on a roller coaster this past year. Some days, I know my vibration is pretty stinkin low. Other days, I’m floating on the clouds happy. I think psychologists call that “bipolar” but it does fit…

Procrastination can be productive, but that’s not what I’m here to discuss right now.

Could be better.

We’ll talk about procrastination later. Right now, I want to discuss some things that have been on my mind as of late. My intent is that someone else may benefit from my time on the struggle bus or maybe the fail plane. Not sure yet.

Let’s drop some Law of Attraction knowledge into all of this. In the end, I still believe in the Laws of the Universe, difficult though it is some days. Skepticism is helpful, I suppose. I’ve been avoiding writing this article for a while now.

“Just get a job, deadbeat!”

That’s really the very painful nitty gritty of it all, I guess. I don’t identify as “deadbeat,” “loser,” or “failure.” It’s difficult sometimes. I still hear it, even if someone isn’t saying it out loud. Maybe I’m paranoid and slightly delusional. Who knows? Maybe I’m projecting my insecurities onto others? But identifying with the negatives puts us into a state of lack. Lack mentality is to be avoided if we want to live in the higher state of abundance.

Welcome to the grand struggle of the Law of Attraction. There’s always duality and separation. Light and dark, hot and cold, rich and poor, etc. I’m currently feeling that downward pull of some of that lack in my life.

We’re all reaching for the stars in some way, shape, or form. Right? Show me someone who doesn’t strive for stability (minimum) or prosperity (maximum.) Even billionaires have some sort of goal, right?

So, I’m avoiding the lack mentality by embracing the abundance mentality. It’s the whole concept of “Living in the dream fulfilled.” Okay, what does that look like?

Everything is Energy

Meditation: tapping in.

Atoms are energy. It’s a miracle anything is solid there’s so much energy. We’re swimming in a sea of it. The human eye can only perceive so much of it. Otherwise, we’d probably overwhelmed by all of the differing wavelengths and vibrations around us.

So, the vibrations we emit are of the wavelength we are on. I know. It’s complicated. We receive what we feel if LoA is to be believed.

I’ve had more ups and downs that a yo-yo on a roller coaster this past year. Some days, I know my vibration is pretty stinkin low. Other days, I’m floating on the clouds happy. I think psychologists call that “bipolar” but it does fit…

Am I avoiding prosperity and embracing lack? I think the idea here is to have more good days than bad. I mean, sh*t happens. Sometimes the Universe challenges us with a bad day. Literally God/Source/Universe knows why. Of course, there is no such thing as a coincidence.

Okay, then the hardest part.

I’d be pretty much hosed without my wife.

So, we can not have two shince to rub together and still have to live in the millionaire dream fulfilled. I’m avoiding admitting to myself that I’m as broke as a joke. I avoid identifying as a jobless bum who could literally be one marital disagreement away from living under a bridge somewhere. I’m avoiding the notion that I’m literally depending on my wife for everything. (Man card is on fire again…)

I’m super grateful my wife keeps me around. I’m no Martha Stewart, but I do some housework around here, especially anything to do with the kids. I’m trying not to identify myself as taking advantage of my loving wife. Sometimes I feel like I should do more, but the answer is not always clear as to what.

I get tired a lot. Some mornings the pain is, well, a lot too. I still keep going.

Makes it a little hard to just run right out and get a day job, though. Especially knowing at some point I’m going to have to call in sick to said new job, whatever it is. Most places really start looking at you sideways when you mention FMLA. Suddenly they don’t want to keep you around as bad.

Then there’s the thought that out of over 100 job applications I had one actual interview and one legit callback before rejection. I’m turning 50 this month. I’m sure that has something to do with it. Got fired from the last job after nearly seven years. I’m sure that has something to do with it, too.

So, yeah, I’ve been avoiding admitting that to myself, too. They just don’t want me. And I’m not really young enough to start all over at some damn 9-5, 40+ hours per week scrubbing floors and cleaning toilets again. I’m literally too old and too broken for that crap. Not to mention I damned well deserve more.

Not because of some perceived entitlement or privilege. Not because of my age, gender, skin color or sexuality. Because we ALL deserve better. Every last one of us. Life has kicked us all in the ass too much. Good times are overdue.

As a complete side note- Screw college. That’s right. I’ll freely admit it. Higher education has left me with a degree and a bigger stack of bills to pay. What good has it done? Not very damn much. Especially now that the Internet can make anyone just as smart in far less time without all of the bullsh*t.

Income is Outcome.

Snoopy and I really would.

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. It’s the same LoA question I’ve had from literally day one. How do I increase my wealth? I’m not a life coach, a shrink, a doctor or a lawyer. I don’t have any inventive new product or service to sell that is relatively unique to me. I’m not a craftsman, artisan, journeyman or service man, even. I’m not even a good scam artist (*not that I’ve tried.) So what good and/or service do I have to sell?

I’ve asked that question literally hundreds of times and dozens of people. You know what? They all avoid answering it. Not one guru, expert, or leader wants to touch that one. At least, not for free. (Plenty of life coaches and LoA experts will charge me out the butt for whatever magical secrets they have.)

What saddens me is that even this website, that I love dearly, is costing me way more than it’s bringing in. My wife was generous enough to fund another year of my blog back on May 25th. She keeps getting on my case about how broke I am whether she knows it or not. Or maybe I’m projecting again? (*my therapist would be having a field day with this article.)

What really eats me, though- what really gets to me more than probably anything, is I have all kinds of things I want to do with money. (Not just the usual consumer nonsense, although maybe a little indulgence.) But more than about anything, I want to make sure my family is taken care of. Then I want to start helping people out. Problem is, I can’t do it without money.

One example I’ll give, albeit a minor one, is Kickstarter. When I was employed, I started backing some roleplaying game projects that I believed in. Nowadays? I look at new projects by some of the same folks longing to be able to help out. In some cases, one project might be a major source of income for one year for all I know. Of course, no nothin moolah to help, so not much I can do. “Heh heh. go team. yay…)

Is most of the support I can afford these days.

What about joy?

I have this blog. Yeah, I drop a pretty wide range of stuff from roleplaying games all the way through things like LoA and UFOs. Now that I’m on a roll with it, I really don’t want to let it go. It’s been keeping me sane and then some. I actually enjoy writing. But, as someone likes to remind me, all of my “journalism-ing” isn’t paying the bills. (Her term, not mine.)

The operative theory here is that success is defined by happiness (joy.) If I’m truly happy, I don’t need income. But I feel pretty miserable being a burden on my wife and family. There’s lots of things I want to do for the community and people I care about. Some of them might not even know I exist yet.

So where does that leave me? No, really. Where does that leave me? Can anyone tell me? Anybody?

I hear the crickets chirping again. It’s just me barking in the dark. I’m going to leave it here for tonight. I feel a bit lighter already.

Thanks for being here. I appreciate you, especially if you made it clear to the end of my rantings. More to come. Have a good one.

Open to feedback if you have any.

Why I’m Still Blogging.

My point being, I get there’s no profits in simply giving people money. But building a community, planting trees, and creating jobs for people can be profitable. If people can throw $40+ BILLION at something, why not have it be locally owned farms? Why not have it be community centers and housing for the homeless? How about we encourage people to embrace joy and prosperity?

I spend a lot of time behind this computer screen.

Every day I come to this blog to pump out fresh content of some kind. Not gonna josh anyone, it keeps me sane. I’m super grateful for you if you’re reading this, whoever you are. Thank you!

I’ve been through a lot dealing with unemployment and health issues. It’s getting better, slowly but surely. I think the Universe likes to test us to see if we’re ready for more joy, love, freedom, prosperity, peace, and harmony every day. It’s not always easy.

We don’t learn as much from easy.

These billionaires, God love em, who have so much money to throw at buying major social media entities just blow my mind. I don’t envy their riches. Good for them for getting where they are today. (I would love to join them.) I mean, they literally have the power to do so much for so many and yet…

It’s true since the first epoch of mankind on this planet that life isn’t easy. We’re here in the physical to learn, remember, and grow. Overcoming challenges and trauma ultimately lead to joy and love. Where would we be without duality and contrast through it all?

I keep coming back to this notion that if I were a millionaire, things would look different.

What would I do with that kind of money? First, take care of my family. Get all the bills paid and make sure the kids are pretty much set for life. I’d teach them what I did to hit millionaire status so they could do the same.

Next, I’d make sure my wife could retire happily and maybe sell real estate or just hang out at home with the cats all day. As long as she’s happy, it’s okay. My wife, Heather, has truly earned a rest after everything she’s done for us.

After the personal stuff comes the investments. I’ve blogged about this before. I want to build my personal empire by helping people. I want to pay it forward as much as possible. Heck, I’d start my own commune if I thought it would help people. (*commune? Collective might be a better choice of words. Not trying to set myself up as any kind of cult leader.)

My point being, I get there’s no profits in simply giving people money. But building a community, planting trees, and creating jobs for people can be profitable. If people can throw $40+ BILLION at something, why not have it be locally owned farms? Why not have it be community centers and housing for the homeless? How about we encourage people to embrace joy and prosperity?

I’m not there yet. I dunno if I ever will be.

With the way things have been going this past year, I don’t know if it will ever happen. Right now I’m planting that seed. I’m doing the few things that bring me joy throughout this struggle, like my humble little blog here.

I’ll take the joy as it comes. I’ll look to expand my resources when the time and the opportunity come. The prosperity will come in many forms and I absolutely know it’s there. Right now, I’m just working on getting out of neutral in my life to get the prosperity flowing into it more. I believe love, prosperity and joy are out there waiting for us. ALL of us.

Thanks for stopping in today. I truly appreciate all of you. Happy Cinco de Mayo if that’s a holiday you celebrate. Take care.

Funeral

…we might suffer and toil here on the Earth plane. There are hard days for all of us, no matter where we are or what our circumstances are. But in the very end, it has all played out for a reason. No, we don’t understand why. But we know it happens for a reason…

My mother-in-law passed suddenly on December 22nd due to complications of Diabetes. Her funeral was December 30th. We will miss her as she was dear to all of our children and the holiday season will not be the same with her passing.

There’s a spiritual lesson here.

I think we sometimes take our existence on the 3D Earth plane for granted. We do some pretty silly stuff just to pass the time. Which is not to say that it’s bad to have some fun or that life has to be a 24/7 grind right up until the grave. Quite the opposite. We’re here to enjoy what life has to offer. But sometimes it’s easy to forget that it only lasts so long.

Then the veil of forgetfulness kicks in when we start all over again, assuming we choose to do so. Then it’s right back to taking things for granted. Maybe we work too many long hours at a dead end job. Maybe we get married to someone in a flight of passion only to get divorced a few weeks later. Maybe we drown our problems in drugs, alcohol, porn and/or gambling for years on end. Then time passes us by. Then, all the things we wish we had done are past.

Why?

According to some, we are God experiencing the Universe through mortal eyes. Or more succinctly, God experiencing God in of of His many forms. So, then the question always comes back around to “Why do bad things happen?” And the answer is inevitably, “We don’t truly know.”

I like to think everything, and I mean literally everything, happens for a reason. Getting hired at a job. Getting fired from a job. Having children or choosing not to do so. Writing an article or eating Cheetos and playing video games. Dying. It all happens for a reason. It’s not necessarily our place to know why or when we’re going to die. Some things are choices, indicating free will. But who’s to say there isn’t divine guidance behind those very choices that have a deeper reason behind them? God works in mysterious ways. Ours is not to always know what the motivations behind the scenes really are.

Yes, we choose in every now moment. That’s the free will component of the 3D Earth plane. And people die every day from choices that could maybe have been different, or were different in another timeline of the multiverse. But the kicker is, when God calls you home, that’s it. Your current body is done and away you go on another adventure.

I believe in a loving Universe, or caring God, if you will.

I’m not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination. My friend Tom, who was our minister for the service, has his own congregation of the Evangelical Free Church. I absolutely loved the service today. As funerals go, he did a fantastic job. The one message, and I sincerely hope my kids were paying attention, is that we have a loving God. (Sorry, non-Christian friends. I know it’s not your cup of tea necessarily. It’s what we’re working with today.) We do truly live in a loving, benevolent Universe, though.

Sure, we might suffer and toil here on the Earth plane. There are hard days for all of us, no matter where we are or what our circumstances are. But in the very end, it has all played out for a reason. No, we don’t understand why. But we know it happens for a reason, and I suspect that we are filled in on what happened on the other side of the veil, assuming we didn’t already know and just forgot.

Personally, I don’t think there is a Hell, at least not as organized religion would have us believe. I mean, why would a loving and caring Creator have to force us into behaving ourselves with threats of eternal damnation and everlasting torment? Why put us through all this stuff on the Earth plane, just to screw up and forever suffer for it?

Are there “bad” people?

Of course there are who do bad, unspeakable acts in life. There are also large numbers of good, kind, loving people. I could name hundreds of offenses against humanity and trespasses upon others’ sovereignty. Again, this goes back to the belief that we all have a part to play. One lifetime you inflict trauma, but in the next you might be on the receiving end of all kinds of horrible treatment. There’s always a reason, though. There’s always a lesson in everything. There is always the presence of the divine in everything.

Finally, peace.

Whatever lies on the other side of the mortal coil is waiting for us to find. No matter what you choose to believe, the day is going to finally come when we transition from our current body into whatever comes next. Far too many people have come back from Near Death Experiences with stories of the other side for there to be nothing there. (Sorry, atheist friends. I’m very convinced there is another side.) Whatever the reason things happen in the mortal coil, we’re all going to meet up to discuss it on that other side.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need my daily dose of cute, fuzzy bunnies and duckies. I’m going to go snuggle the cats and maybe get some sleep. It’s been kinda rough. I trust in the Universe. I believe in something greater than all of us, but I don’t always claim to understand why things happen the way they do. Hence, little, simple, fuzzy, loving little animals. No serious thought required, just love and snuggles.

Have a safe and happy holiday season. Much love. Please set your intentions for 2022 to be a year of prosperity, joy, love and forgiveness. See you again soon.

Freedom Day, DECember Edition

https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

Hard to believe it’s December already.

Christmas is right around the corner. I’m still without any kind of meaningful employment if anyone was wondering. Not that I’m bitter, but more on that in a moment. I have started an account on Ko-Fi if you want to buy me a cup of coffee or contribute to my kids’ college funds.

My Ko-Fi Can be Found Here:
https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

I really do.

I want to share some love with the people who have been here for me through the year. It’s been…

Good at times. We’ve experienced some real abundance. I’ve felt the “Flow” at times as we say in Law of Attraction circles. I’m going to drop a ton of Instagram links below in a movie-credit style roll for those interested in making new friends. It’s been a good year, in many respects.

Then there was the not-as-amazing stuff. Being unemployed is a blessing and a curse. (Again, more on that later.) Our health held up. Our roof stayed attached through all of the wind storms. Christmas is looking very bright this year. We’re still kicking butt as a single income house so far. Ya know, I keep coming up with all these things to be grateful for, almost like my Higher Self is showing me what to say?

Like, maybe you can’t be super high vibe all the time, but the lows aren’t so low, either. I will honestly say, I’ve had some struggles with depression, anxiety, anger, and pain this year. Depression and pain being the absolute worst of it, but I’ve managed to pull through. The valleys aren’t as deep any more and the hills aren’t as tough to climb.

Okay, taking a minute to spit a little anger at a few groups, because duality exists.

First, I’d like to put a big middle finger in the air up to corporate America. I especially have a mean-on for one specific industry that I can’t mention here for the potential of getting sued. But let’s just say it doesn’t bode well for any of the suit-n-tie-wearing, bottom-line-toting, conference-room-team-meeting, SMART-goal-fucking, overinflated, top-heavy, corporate McAssholes of the world when you treat people like absolute shit and then get around to firing them. In an ironic twist, I hear people are leaving some of those corporate jobs in droves because of shitastic working conditions and poor treatment by management, anyway. Good for them!

Second, another KissMyAss award goes out to #ufotwitter. Yes. You’ve earned it. Stop being pompous, overinflated egoic, know-it-all naysayers who allow no one a differing opinion or outlook. For people fighting for Disclosure and want to “believe” in ETs, UFOs, UAPs or whatever you’re calling them this week? Y’all got a funny way of showing it. Probably because you know the minute meaningful ET contact is made or Disclosure ends publicly, you’re going to have to shut up and your book deal will be gone. Meanwhile, all the government funded disinformation agents and shills out there are finally going to be out of their jobs, too. But, take heart. I hear Iowa Workforce Development will retrain you as an arc welder or dental hygienist for free.

Third, the State of Iowa could sink into the center of the Earth any day now for what it’s worth. Hopefully they can build bridges to connect other states over the crater. We’ll probably find some way to blame the Governor Kim Reaper for it. Our Cov-Icky-Cough-Coughs numbers are higher than most Third World Nations and our employment outlook is horrible. Iowa Workfarce Enforcement only cares about one set of uneducated-but-skilled laborers. If you have a college degree, get ready to step down and take it in the butt or go without a job. But if you’re fresh out of high school or suddenly disillusioned with UFOlogy and can follow instructions like a good little drone, they want you.

A Couple of Other Thoughts While We’re Here.

COVID… I’ve seen so much freakin rhetoric about vax vs anti-vax and mask vs anti-mask. And again, see that bright red state in the middle of the map with the outrageous uptick in reported outbreaks? Yeah… Get your shots or don’t. Wear a mask or don’t. Make the decision for yourself. Just stop talking about it, please. Save our sanity.

Mainstream Media- I have a journalism degree for cryin out loud. (Not that it’s ever made a huge difference.) You know what one of the first things I cut out of my life right after I graduated was? Watching any kind of news broadcast or reading any news outside of the occasional YouTube video or article from an independent website. Even then, I take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Please, do yourselves a favor this holiday season and in life and turn the TV off, stop listening to the bobble headed idiots on morning radio, put the newspaper down, and go outside for some fresh air. Screw politics. To Hell with what the Kardashians are doing now. Fuck COVID. Let the Chinese do whatever they’re going to do today. Ignore Trump entirely. Just go get some fresh air and appreciate the world around you. You’re gonna be so much better off for it.

Let’s talk about that whole “being unemployed” thing for a few.

This is not a dis on people with jobs. We all gotta do what we gotta do. Love ya for it.

Personally, if I never set foot in an office again to work, it’s not gonna hurt my feelings. I’m productive from right here at home. Yes, I’m struggling right now because no one sees my value. I can write. I know I can. I have yet to land a writing gig. Yes, I know what’s on my résumé It says I’ve been beaten more times than your college baseball team. But it doesn’t say a thing about me or what I’m capable of. Iowa Workless Defamation doesn’t see it. The locals aren’t hiring for anything I want to do and finding a remote job is like… Geez, I can’t even come up with a good comparison any more because it pretty much sucks!

Yes, I would love to have a “career” again. Quite honestly, being a stay-at-home dad is starting to feel a little like freeloading. This is not exactly fulfilling my life purpose or seeing my mission as a lightworker out, but it’s not horrible, either. I would love to be bringing in some money for roof repairs, a new vacuum cleaner, or whatever else comes up next. I mean, four kids. It’s always something.

LOL! Did I mention that Ko-Fi link? https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

People whom I wish to give much credit this year. Thank you friends, family, and Earthly teachers:

First Off, Thank you Heather Craigmile, loving wife and mother of our four kids. (No links.) She’s shy. Sorry folks.

Here’s a list of some of my friends on Instagram in no particular order:

  • Laura DiBenedetto: @lauraldibenedetto
  • Shane: @thespiritofthecosmos
  • Sharon: @candidly_sharonh
  • Andrea Garris: @a.l.garris
  • Dr Julia Colangelo @drjuliacolangelo
  • Alana Weinberg: @healwithalana

I had to leave a few people off for privacy reasons. And if I left you off, please know I still love you! Thank you!

Why Forced Togetherness Doesn’t Work in THe Workplace

If I have my way, I will NEVER set foot in an office to work ever again.

I mentioned in another article that I wanted to circle back on this topic. I especially hope some of my LinkedIn friends take note of this piece. I don’t typically write workplace centered articles, but this is one of the rare ideas I really have been wanting to share for a while now.

*Trigger Warning* This might leave a few hardcore corporate employees including a couple of my former employers a bit butt-sore. Sorry, not sorry. If it’s not you cup of tea, please move on. You were warned.

Here’s where I’m coming from:

I’ve been unemployed (Yes, I call it that.) since July 19th. I call that “Freedom Day.” Since then, I’ve been recovering spiritually, mentally, and emotionally from what was probably the most absolutely horrible work experience of my entire life, no contest. Truthfully, I’ve had a lot of jobs, and then there was the corporate fiasco I last found myself in. I’m still tiptoeing around certain specifics because I’m avoiding legal issues, but I think I can speak to my own personal status without any blowback. I’ve had some rough days and even rough weeks since I was liberated.

There are two things I want to discuss regarding corporate interactions today. The first is why you can’t force people to interact, especially off the clock. The second is a bit more personal, namely why I intend to never set foot in that mess ever again.

“Let’s all sit around a table and discuss how we’re going to save the company big bucks.” It might look good on paper, but…

Maybe that’s what they teach in Business school these days? I dunno. I haven’t been back to college in 20 years and good luck ever getting me in there again. I almost guarantee you can NOT get five people to sit there, and be all chummy with one another and discuss these big corporate concepts if they don’t want to be there. Quite honestly, it’s boring to some, annoying to most, and unproductive on a good day.

My experienced guess is, that out of five people, management will get legitimate engagement from one, maybe two people and the rest are just going to nod their heads at best. Family, I’ve been studying/observing this behavior since grade school. I studied it in Sociology for years. Small groups or corporate teams do not come together in the real world as intended on paper. A cohesive “team” of five to ten people is an anomaly no matter how much team building crap you want to throw at them.

My experience has been that the harder they try to push all their “team building” crapola, the more they’re looking for something else to hang someone with it. Let’s hold hands, have personal shares and pretend we actually like each other/the company. It might look good on paper, but trust me, most people just aren’t into it. It’s a despicable, nasty little management tactic that someone cooked up once-upon-a-when to have more excuses to degrade people on reviews and fire them. I’ve seen it a lot.

Yeah, call me “negative.” Heck, call me “toxic” when it comes to dealing with any kind of a large corporation. My therapist is practically tearing her hair out when the subject comes up. Which brings me to my second point-

If I have my way, I will NEVER set foot in an office to work ever again.

Mark my words, I’m going out of my way to never set foot in an office environment again. I can’t stand the idea of sitting in another “team” meeting. I absolutely detest the idea of another evaluation. I would rather shove raw bamboo in my eyes than ever work on another “S.M.A.R.T.” goal ever again. (And whomever came up with that whole SMART goal thing- I really hope love and light comes your way some day if it hasn’t already…) In summation, you can take that corporate job and shove it.

I am struggling with the cognitive dissonance caused by this. My dilemma is spiritual. How can I resolve being bitterly anti-social when it comes to the corporate world and still fulfill my mission as a lightworker? My poor therapist just loves me right now because I’m a steady client.

I used to really be critical of spiritual advisors who would say, “quit your job and fulfill your purpose.” Yet here I am today. I was fortunate enough to be fired and we will never know why, exactly. (Honestly don’t care.) I’m not rich. In fact I’m struggling to pay for my website and other things. But at least I’ve shrugged off working in the corporate matrix and I’m not going back in.

I advise anyone and everyone- If you are not aligned with your job, please go find another. If you’re getting treated like garbage, unappreciated, undervalued, and underpaid- vote your conscience and leave. Above all, you gotta be you. Tell them why you’re leaving specifically. A lot of people are doing exactly that right now.

Of course I always tack the caveat on of: Do it responsibly. Don’t put yourself and family at risk unnecessarily. Although right now there is probably slightly more of a safety net than ever because of the amount of jobs available in the world. Still, that said, do what you need to do until you CAN break free of the cycle.

There is more to life than, Eat-Sleep-Work-Repeat. You can do it!

Next time, we’ll discuss the concept of “success.” I promise my take is probably not what you think it’s going to be. Til then, take care.

A Man without a Country

Every time I see one of those cute concentric circles on Twitter with everyone’s massive friends groups and it brings back that tired old feeling left over from grade school. You know. The kid that’s always the last one picked? That’s me. Story of my life. No lie, I remember a couple of times in middle school and high school when they completely skipped me, leaving me without a team.

We humans are social animals. I guess.

It’s funny. Every time I see one of those cute concentric circles on Twitter with everyone’s massive friends groups and it brings back that tired old feeling left over from grade school. You know. The kid that’s always the last one picked? That’s me. Story of my life. No lie, I remember a couple of times in middle school and high school when they completely skipped me, leaving me without a team.

I’m here to tell you. That sh*t hurt! It’s one thing to get picked last. I get that. I mean, someone has to be last, right? Sure. But not to get chosen at all? Ouch. That was somewhat trauma-inducing. Science is now showing that stuff stays with us all the way into adulthood.

I’ve always had trouble making friends.

Maybe it’s astrological. I’m a Cancer. We don’t necessarily socialize well.

Maybe it’s divine. Maybe it’s just in my soul contract that I’m not designed to be super popular or even have a ton of friends. Why did I sign up for that? Who the heck knows? I’ll let you know when I see my Akashic Record. There’s bigger mysteries out there, I suppose.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m in plenty of communities, at least on social media. Plenty of people know me on social media, or my persona, anyway. I just always have to wonder, if I closed my accounts today, would anyone notice? I’m still around, but it makes me wonder.

Ufology is kind of a split community. You’ve got the nuts-and-bolts crowd, the spiritual crowd, and the conspiracy crowd. There’s also the “abduction”/contactee/experiencer community, which is almost a group unto itself. There are some overlaps. We all want the government to cough up what they know. Everything else is pretty much up for grabs as to how and why. After the Añjali thing, I’m not sure if any of us will ever be right again.

The “New Age” spiritual community has its own special share of differing opinions. There are so many variations on how, what, and who to believe it’s hard to pin anything down beyond a mutual love of each other and Source. Again, there’s a lot of overlap, but then it gets wild.

Writers are a funny lot. Sure, we encourage each other. But at the same time, there’s always a subtle air of mistrust and competition. It’s like I hope you do well, but don’t steal my stuff! Overall, writers can be a pretty aloof bunch. Not really my jam, but I like NaNoWriMo.

Back to my own roots.

After a somewhat rocky couple of months in the Ufology community, I took an extended break. I went back and visited my friends in the worlds of tabletop roleplaying games. The Dungeons & Dragons crowd is relatively warm and welcoming. I guess 40+ years of being mocked, picked-on, and called names makes for solid bonding amongst fellows. I know D&D is currently riding the wave of popularity, but even after the wave subsides, we’ll still have a hobby.

Sure, conflicts arise in any group, but how they are handled within the community is what defines it. Gamers eventually forgive and forget most offenses. It’s just easier to move on and keep having fun than hold grudges over what is supposed to be a social exercise.

That having been said, do I have a group? Yeah. My family. I’m happy, grateful and proud my kids are picking up the hobby. I have plenty of folks I know on Twitter and Instagram in the hobby. But, again… besties? Well, not so much.

The lesson here is: Don’t put too much stock in what people on social media think.

I like social media, generally speaking. I spend some time on there. Sure, who doesn’t? I mean, there are probably plenty of people, but I think a lot of folks do have some contact with one of the big social media platforms.

It’s not the end-all and be-all of modern existence. A lot of spiritual folk will tell you to detox from social media by taking some time off or deleting it altogether. Ironically, they usually spread the word using one of those social media platforms. But do as they say, and not as they do, right? It’s good advice. I take week long breaks from time to time.

At the end of all this, I’m still a beautiful divine being having a (somewhat mediocre, shitty,) physical experience. I don’t 100% need or even want social acceptance or even contact of any kind some days. Sorta makes me wonder if I have a form of undiagnosed autism or something… I wonder if I’ll ever have any kind of meaningful impact on society or anyone, ever as far as that goes. If a light goes on in the forest and there are no squirrels around to see it, do any woodland creatures notice?

There is more to this acceptance story as it relates to work. We’ll examine that idea in another article this week. Wait until I get on a tear about being hired… Until then, take care.

See you in another article real soon!

Already?!?

God bless my wife for keeping the family going. Thank you, Heather, if you see this, for putting up with my antics for this long. You deserve a medal.

It’s the 19th already?!? Where does the time go?

This might be my last post on this blog. I haven’t fully decided yet. I guess I’ll let you know. It’s Freedom Day for me. It’s been four months since I had a “real” job.

God bless my wife for keeping the family going. Thank you, Heather, if you see this, for putting up with my antics for this long. You deserve a medal.

Time to get a little more vulnerable than usual. It’s been a rough month for me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Let me try to put this together in a way that will make sense. Please pardon my ramble in advance.

To the handful of people that read this, I thank you. You are truly appreciated.

Me.

This blog has been a kind of learning lab for me. Figuring out what to do, what not to do, and what all is possible. It’s been a labor of love. But I’m here to tell ya, family- this last month has really made me question a good number of things in my life.

First setback of the month was:

Let’s start at the top with the Añjali debacle. She announced that the Mojave expedition is permanently on hold due to the health concerns of the man who owns the land that the tunnel to the underground base sits on. It was a huge disappointment for some and an even bigger I-told-ya-so for the asinine turds of #ufotwitter. I guess yay for them, but it’s a huge setback for some of us.

It’s big old double whammy for those of us in the UFO and Spiritual communities. I mean I’ve been called a “New Ager woo-woo freak” by the nuts-and-bolts guys before because I’m spiritually active and listen to channelers, CE-5, meditate regularly, and so on. I really think someone should unite the communities. Añjali could have been that link, but too many people were protecting their vested interests and cash cows to listen. So, any credibility some of us freaks had in the UFO world is more disrupted than ever. ETs could land on my front lawn complete with video and #ufotwitter would say it was fake.

Añjali wasn’t necessarily the great white hope. We knew there was a possibility that she could be involved in a psyop to discredit, dismantle, and disrupt both the Ufology and spiritual communities. Personally, I don’t think she is, but I acknowledge that it’s possible. Then again, Lue Elizondo could be doing the same thing and there are plenty of people eating right out of his proverbial hands, too. I’ve said on Twitter and elsewhere that Añjali should have gone to the experiencer/contactee or spiritual channeling communities with her information instead of UFO (a$$holes) Twitter. But hey, like so many others, she shut me down and refuses to answer my Direct Messages. Again, the skeptic in me sees a false flag operation, but who knows…

It was NaNoWriMo Month again, too.

I’m unemployed. Technically every month could/should be NaNoWriMo. Family support is important if you intend to bang out an entire book in one month. I have five other people and three cats that all need love and attention on any given day so it just didn’t come together. I may actually start a novel yet this month, but there’s no pressure, no writing buddies, or any of the usual NaNo flair. It’ll be okay.

Found me a new community.

My English teachers and editors would be losing their ever loving minds over that header, but whatever. I have gone back into my #ttrpg roots, and that may be what this blog changes over to soon. Again, I guess we’ll see. I kinda like having a place for personal shares, but I have only this humble paid-for space and I would really love the Premium package for my gaming ventures. TTRPG stands for TableTop RolePlaying Games, for those who don’t know.

So, yeah, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a huge Dungeons and Dragons fan and have been pretty much my whole life. I started gaming back in the early 1980’s and have been at it for almost 40 years. But it’s always been a hobby and a writing venture. I have yet to sell anything in the industry. I’ve worked in game stores. I’ve sold a lot of games over the years. But, always a bridesmaid, so to speak.

That brings us to the next point.

I’ve had to spend lots of meaningful time with my friends at Iowa Workforce Development this month to ensure my unemployment check didn’t get cut off completely. I’ve gotten to attend all kinds of fun meetings to make sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I guess that’s what they get paid the big bucks for, but at the same time, they’re not actually doing anything for me, aside from my unemployment check.

I also got an anonymous message from a former co-worker with a juicy tidbit that confirmed some of my suspicions. I wish I could say a LOT more without jeopardizing my severance and NDAs, but I can’t. Somebody should, though. To quote the Matrix, Cypher told Morpheus “If you’d told us the truth, we would’ve told you to shove that red pill right up your ass.” That’s true of my severance package, but my family needed the money, so it’s a tough choice and I ultimately made the right decision.

That said, my job search has thus far been a running joke with me. Honestly, if I never work a “real job” again, it’ll be too soon. I like being my own boss, setting my own hours, and giving myself a pat on the back for being my employee of the month. Unfortunately, IWD has a hard time seeing this. They have an obvious agenda. I’m not part of that equation.

They told us in one of their little “classes” that they want people to fill what they refer to as the “middle skills” roles. In other words, they want people who have completed high school, but haven’t been to college. They want dental hygienists, welders, truck drivers and nurses. Do I fit that description? Hell no! Do I want to take a pay cut and do something I’m going to be absolutely miserable doing? F*ck No!!! I will literally embrace homelessness for myself (and only myself) before I will ever go back to the 9-5 grind doing something just for the sake of doing it.

And they keep trying to tell us “Oh, it’s so meaningful. So many people find their life purpose doing this…” No. No, people really don’t find it meaningful or fulfilling. In fact, it makes me sick to my stomach to hear the IWD people rattle on about fulfilling it is to sleep, eat, work, repeat and how everything else is just a fun hobby. Again, I get that it’s what they’re paid to do, but it’s not an enlightened, spiritually aware thing to do.

My whole resume is disgustingly full of the kinds of jobs they’re talking about. No offense to anyone, but I think I’d rather die than go back to just about any of those jobs. The pay is mediocre. The hours are long and unfulfilling. There is no appreciation from management most of the time. The benefits are crappy. Worst of all, my health will not support that kind of work ever again in an office or any other environment.

Lol! This is getting long. To be continued…

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