Anxiety and How I Beat It Back

What’s the BEST that can happen?

Kind of a personal share today.

My chest is getting a bit tight just thinking about all this. Breathe…

I’m working on a couple of projects that I’m very excited about or at least I should be. I’m sworn to secrecy, so I can’t say what they are, but they’re very important to me. It’s also very exciting.

That’s all fine and well, but the old sinking feelings set in. I start asking all the wrong questions in my head. What if I fail? What if I miss my deadline? What if no one likes it? What if my wife gets on me for spending more time on this than housework or finding a “real” job. What if I’m successful? Ooh pressure… What if there’s criticism? See also all of my personal PTSD triggers…

If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled up under my desk.

Procrastination sets in. I start spending way more time on social media. I play Diablo 3 like it’s going out of style. I do housework until my body says “no more.” The cats are avoiding me because of too many snuggles. Time to be my own therapist for a change. None of this pattern is new to me. Time to break the cycle.

What’s the BEST that can happen?

The worst case scenario has had enough time in the limelight to last me a lifetime. I took Public Relations in college. I know how it works. But I’m done with thinking about what could go wrong. Let’s project what it looks like when things go right.

  • Use positive affirmations to build confidence back up. If nothing else, I am okay.
  • Speak it into existence with gratitude for what will happen. “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a successfully published RPG writer.”
  • Take inspired action. Don’t let those good ideas sit on the shelf.
  • “Lean into the suck.” (Thanks Laura DiBenedetto!) More on that below.
  • False Evidence Appearing Real. Let the demons go on a diet. No more fear.
  • Stay calm. Relax. Breathe. Stay present in the moment. Every now moment.
  • Get knocked down 99 times. Stand up 100 times. Failure is part of the process.
  • Do not compare oneself to the images on social media. The grass is always greener in someone else’s front yard.
  • Finally, criticism is also part of the process. Trust that it isn’t personal. Learn. Grow from it. Keep going with the knowledge that change and growth go hand in hand.

A good friend of mine once said, “Lean into the suck.”

Yes, there’s stress. But…

Yes, there’s going to be stress. It’s part of the process. Yes, there are challenges to overcome. If it were totally easy, someone else would have done it by now. Sometimes, you just have to push through all the fear, stress, concerns and challenges to come out on top in that place of gratitude. Even Elon Musk and Jeff Besos have off days and problems to solve.

Inspired action is still action and sometimes that comes with more challenges (or consequences.) I know I have to step out of my comfort zone. I have to reach for those goals. They’re not just going to happen magically while I sit on my couch and meditate. (Yay meditation, but still…)

Yeah, sometimes things are going to suck. There are setbacks. They’re not permanent. Hold my Dr Pepper. I got this.

I have to constantly remind myself I am NOT my feelings.

Sure, I have feelings. (My man card is burning. LOL!) The thing we tend to forget is that we choose our feelings. I’m not in any imminent danger of being eaten by a bear, so I can choose something besides stress.

Yeah, criticism is likely. But my editor is human. I’m still going to put my best foot forward and do my utmost to meet deadline. If it’s not perfect, we’ll figure it out together.

I am not my diagnosis of PTSD, ADHD, depression, anxiety disorder or anything else psychology labels me as having. I am capable of staying positive and present. I can do this. I’ve got this.

Thanks for bearing with me on a personal share. Sometimes I just need to put it down in words to feel my way through things. The interweb is my vision board.

I am so grateful for all of you. Be back soon.

If you’re interested in more life changing suggestions for personal growth, you can check out The Six Habits by Laura DiBenedetto. This book and its author have helped me so much these last three years.

Freedom Day, DECember Edition

https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

Hard to believe it’s December already.

Christmas is right around the corner. I’m still without any kind of meaningful employment if anyone was wondering. Not that I’m bitter, but more on that in a moment. I have started an account on Ko-Fi if you want to buy me a cup of coffee or contribute to my kids’ college funds.

My Ko-Fi Can be Found Here:
https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

I really do.

I want to share some love with the people who have been here for me through the year. It’s been…

Good at times. We’ve experienced some real abundance. I’ve felt the “Flow” at times as we say in Law of Attraction circles. I’m going to drop a ton of Instagram links below in a movie-credit style roll for those interested in making new friends. It’s been a good year, in many respects.

Then there was the not-as-amazing stuff. Being unemployed is a blessing and a curse. (Again, more on that later.) Our health held up. Our roof stayed attached through all of the wind storms. Christmas is looking very bright this year. We’re still kicking butt as a single income house so far. Ya know, I keep coming up with all these things to be grateful for, almost like my Higher Self is showing me what to say?

Like, maybe you can’t be super high vibe all the time, but the lows aren’t so low, either. I will honestly say, I’ve had some struggles with depression, anxiety, anger, and pain this year. Depression and pain being the absolute worst of it, but I’ve managed to pull through. The valleys aren’t as deep any more and the hills aren’t as tough to climb.

Okay, taking a minute to spit a little anger at a few groups, because duality exists.

First, I’d like to put a big middle finger in the air up to corporate America. I especially have a mean-on for one specific industry that I can’t mention here for the potential of getting sued. But let’s just say it doesn’t bode well for any of the suit-n-tie-wearing, bottom-line-toting, conference-room-team-meeting, SMART-goal-fucking, overinflated, top-heavy, corporate McAssholes of the world when you treat people like absolute shit and then get around to firing them. In an ironic twist, I hear people are leaving some of those corporate jobs in droves because of shitastic working conditions and poor treatment by management, anyway. Good for them!

Second, another KissMyAss award goes out to #ufotwitter. Yes. You’ve earned it. Stop being pompous, overinflated egoic, know-it-all naysayers who allow no one a differing opinion or outlook. For people fighting for Disclosure and want to “believe” in ETs, UFOs, UAPs or whatever you’re calling them this week? Y’all got a funny way of showing it. Probably because you know the minute meaningful ET contact is made or Disclosure ends publicly, you’re going to have to shut up and your book deal will be gone. Meanwhile, all the government funded disinformation agents and shills out there are finally going to be out of their jobs, too. But, take heart. I hear Iowa Workforce Development will retrain you as an arc welder or dental hygienist for free.

Third, the State of Iowa could sink into the center of the Earth any day now for what it’s worth. Hopefully they can build bridges to connect other states over the crater. We’ll probably find some way to blame the Governor Kim Reaper for it. Our Cov-Icky-Cough-Coughs numbers are higher than most Third World Nations and our employment outlook is horrible. Iowa Workfarce Enforcement only cares about one set of uneducated-but-skilled laborers. If you have a college degree, get ready to step down and take it in the butt or go without a job. But if you’re fresh out of high school or suddenly disillusioned with UFOlogy and can follow instructions like a good little drone, they want you.

A Couple of Other Thoughts While We’re Here.

COVID… I’ve seen so much freakin rhetoric about vax vs anti-vax and mask vs anti-mask. And again, see that bright red state in the middle of the map with the outrageous uptick in reported outbreaks? Yeah… Get your shots or don’t. Wear a mask or don’t. Make the decision for yourself. Just stop talking about it, please. Save our sanity.

Mainstream Media- I have a journalism degree for cryin out loud. (Not that it’s ever made a huge difference.) You know what one of the first things I cut out of my life right after I graduated was? Watching any kind of news broadcast or reading any news outside of the occasional YouTube video or article from an independent website. Even then, I take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Please, do yourselves a favor this holiday season and in life and turn the TV off, stop listening to the bobble headed idiots on morning radio, put the newspaper down, and go outside for some fresh air. Screw politics. To Hell with what the Kardashians are doing now. Fuck COVID. Let the Chinese do whatever they’re going to do today. Ignore Trump entirely. Just go get some fresh air and appreciate the world around you. You’re gonna be so much better off for it.

Let’s talk about that whole “being unemployed” thing for a few.

This is not a dis on people with jobs. We all gotta do what we gotta do. Love ya for it.

Personally, if I never set foot in an office again to work, it’s not gonna hurt my feelings. I’m productive from right here at home. Yes, I’m struggling right now because no one sees my value. I can write. I know I can. I have yet to land a writing gig. Yes, I know what’s on my résumé It says I’ve been beaten more times than your college baseball team. But it doesn’t say a thing about me or what I’m capable of. Iowa Workless Defamation doesn’t see it. The locals aren’t hiring for anything I want to do and finding a remote job is like… Geez, I can’t even come up with a good comparison any more because it pretty much sucks!

Yes, I would love to have a “career” again. Quite honestly, being a stay-at-home dad is starting to feel a little like freeloading. This is not exactly fulfilling my life purpose or seeing my mission as a lightworker out, but it’s not horrible, either. I would love to be bringing in some money for roof repairs, a new vacuum cleaner, or whatever else comes up next. I mean, four kids. It’s always something.

LOL! Did I mention that Ko-Fi link? https://ko-fi.com/jeffcraigmile

People whom I wish to give much credit this year. Thank you friends, family, and Earthly teachers:

First Off, Thank you Heather Craigmile, loving wife and mother of our four kids. (No links.) She’s shy. Sorry folks.

Here’s a list of some of my friends on Instagram in no particular order:

  • Laura DiBenedetto: @lauraldibenedetto
  • Shane: @thespiritofthecosmos
  • Sharon: @candidly_sharonh
  • Andrea Garris: @a.l.garris
  • Dr Julia Colangelo @drjuliacolangelo
  • Alana Weinberg: @healwithalana

I had to leave a few people off for privacy reasons. And if I left you off, please know I still love you! Thank you!

Expanding Friends Group

The Six Habits by Laura DiBenedetto.
Talking about Goodness today.

One of the components of Goodness in The Six Habits includes things such as expanding your group of friends to include more positive, like-minded people. Other sources have said, “Your tribe is your vibe (and vice versa.)” Following that example, I’ve been reaching out more.

For example, I’ve been following Shane Hawk, aka The Spirit of the Cosmos on YouTube and Instagram for a while now. Shane is a gifted oracle, shaman, tarot reader, comedian and all-around great guy. Please don’t take my word for it, go check it out for yourself: @thespiritofthecosmos and on YouTube at The Spirit of the Cosmos. He’s been doing a lot more pick-a-card and oracle card readings. I can’t recommend him enough. I comment on Shane’s videos and we chat a little on Instagram.

Another example is the Facebook groups I have found myself in as of late. I’ve joined four different RPG related groups. So far, all of them have been very helpful and encouraging.

My next example, also in the RPG category is Ms Kelsey Dionne of the Arcane Library. She’s been coaching me a bit via email as I get back into writing adventures for Dungeons & Dragons and other tabletop RPGs. I’ll link her info and talk a little more about the Arcane Library on my gaming blog. I have been inspired by Kelsey and Beth Ball, both of whom recently became full time writers.

I belong to a lot of different communities. I have a lot of different people I resonate with. I used to cringe at the word “diversity,” but now I embrace it. Not just on social media, but everywhere. Really I’m richer for the experience. I’m a pretty eclectic guy.

I’ll throw out one more example before I go. I watch a lot of YouTube while I’m at work. I watch or listen-to upwards of a dozen or more different YouTubers ranging from LoA to Philosophy, conspiracy journalism to Dungeons & Dragons, and channeled messages to documentaries about Mars and on and on… I have listened to David Icke, Kelsey Dionne, watched Taufledermaus shoot holes in stuff and Daniel Scranton channel all in the same hour. Nikola Tesla and Rupert Spira all in the same hour will pretty much leave you drooling in all likelihood. Some of the stuff I like is really deep. Other things a lot more lighthearted. I recommend it all. And we haven’t even talked about the warped circus that is my sense of humor. Lol! My point here is, if it will raise your vibration, try it out. Namaste.

Two Days of Working from Home!

I just spent night number two of working from home. I love it! I’m not sure if it will last, but it would be pretty cool if it does.

Admittedly, one of the days at home was because someone at the office caught the Icky Cough-Coughs. My oldest decided to give the thing a Doc McStuffins name. I’ve adopted that term. I hope whomever got ill recovers quickly.

If there has been an upside to this plandemic, it has taught me that working from home is so much more preferable to working in the office. It has definitely approved my meager attendance. It’s a lot easier when I’m in pain to crawl across my basement and log in than drag myself to the car and shlep all my gear around the building into the office.

I AM so happy and grateful now that I am my own boss. And that is my affirmation today. Well, every day, really. It’s most assuredly manifesting.

Feelin boss today!

I AM my own best boss and favourite employee. Another affirmation that adorns my vision board and my affirmations list. This is part of the Acceptance piece of The Six Habits. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s also a pretty big component to LoA, or more specifically, the Law of Vibration.

Acceptance is a key Habit.

For those who might not be familiar yet, feeling, or even being in the moment as if you were is the Secret. I’m learning a lot of LoA hinges on mindset, fairly high vibration, and living in the moment. Not trying to brag, but my last couple of days have been pretty phenomenal. I hope yours have, too.

The best part is, feelings don’t cost anything. You can be in a great mood for absolutely free. And money can’t buy happiness, but it can sure as heck buy a lot of things that make me happy. Happy my family is taken care-of, happy to be reading, happy to be watching, happy to be traveling… the list goes on for about ever. So why not be happy now?

Have a beautiful now moment all day.

Presence Today

Pets are pros at Presence. Ever just sit and stare at your pet or pet your animal for a long time?

I choose to talk about Presence today. It is one of the Six Habits in Laura DiBenedetto’s book, The Six Habits. If you want to know more about it and would like to read the book, the link for it on Amazon is here: The Six Habits. The audio just came out too, by the way.

Presence is in short, all about mindful presence. Can you be in the room and be fully focused on what is going on in the room? It’s not as easy as one might imagine, especially in these modern times when we have numerous distractions- TV, radio, and the biggest attention-sucker ever- smart phones.

THE SIX HABITS by Laura DiBenedetto
Practical Tools for Bringing Your Dreams to Life.

Then there are the internal distractions. How often do you catch yourself thinking, “I wish I was anywhere but here?” Or my favorite, “I wish I was home right now,” while I’m at work. Sometimes, my mind wanders about 200 miles northwest of my current location, in a nice forested area, with a lake and a view of the mountains, within driving distance of the Pacific Ocean…

But the catch is, can you bring yourself back? Can you be fully on top of your game at work? Can you listen to the kids telling you about some video game character or a YouTuber they’ve discovered? Sometimes it’s hard. My email, especially ads from dice companies, is way more interesting than either thing I just mentioned.

My favorite example was the other day at a restaurant. This woman was at the table across from us with her family of six. My kids know, and my wife is usually aware of the rule, phones get put away at the dinner table. My guess is, the nice lady across from us did not have that rule at her house, or that phone call must’ve been pretty important.

Meanwhile, her husband was trying to wrangle the kids, all of whom were probably 10 and under, squirrelly as most kids are, and wiggling, wriggling and monkeying around as most kids do. The guy looked absolutely miserable. That phone call lasted most of the meal. I’d probably have said something had she been my wife, but… Hopefully they sorted that out afterwards.

Husky pup. Much more adorable than an Excel spreadsheet. I mean, seriously. Please email me for photo credit..

My other example, and this one is purely on me, is work. You think Instagram is far more amusing than my job? Spreadsheets and boring emails vs cute pictures of husky pups, kittens, bunnies, spiritual stuff, conspiracy stuff, and so on… I can get distracted very easily. The trick is coming back to the present moment.

How much more productive am I when I’m fully present? It’s pretty shocking how much I can really get done when I have my eye on the metaphorical ball. Would I rather be blogging? Yeah. Or really doing anything besides pouring over line upon line of dispatches and crunching numbers. UFOs, ETs, and things coming and going from other dimensions are way more entertaining to talk about.

Here’s the best part. Coming back to joy. I mean, if I’m more productive at work, maybe I finally get promoted or a pay increase. That keeps the family happy, right? And failing that, I get all of my actual work done and can dip out for a few and look at the latest dice offers in my personal email. Or, I can get everything set for the night and keep an eye open for driver requests while I write a blog article. Tee heehee. (Not that I ever do that.)

The same is very true at home. If I’m fully centered on my family and listening to them, I hear about their day at school. I hear about how my wife’s work went. (Yeah… the Co-la-ro-lala-nala-vir-usla is a very ugly topic here with teachers in Iowa right now…) I get to actually enjoy dropping some advice or bringing the topic around to something more interesting. Although my family’s thoughts about the Ninth Dimensional Arcturian Council are for another post. But it’s nice being a husband and a dad when life throws me a chance to be both. And there’s plenty of time to hang with the cats and write blog articles afterward. (Grin.)

Have a beautiful now moment.

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

How to Rebel Energetically (in 2020.)

In my last couple of articles, I covered how I have this sort of existential dissonance going between my own personal code of ethics and this job that I need to feed my family. Now, I could express this as a philosophical or even a straight math equation, but I intend to explain it very plainly.

Photo by Ju00f6rn Sommer on Pexels.com

Family comes first. Then my own physical needs. Then my ethics and spiritual needs third. Although technically the well-being of my family is one of my core values, so we could say I’m still heeding the call. But the two things that still get to me are the fact I’m serving an industry I despise and I’m stuck in a soulless cubicle all night watching my dignity degrade as I pour over spreadsheets and emails for hours.

Let’s make sure to mention service to self and others. It is extremely important. Not only are you keeping yourself happy, loving yourself, taking care of yourself, etc, but you’re taking care of your loved ones, and possibly neighbors and even community as well. Love is a key component to fulfilling one’s purpose. It’s called the language of the Universe. Send those super positive vibrations out there.

Writing, designing this blog and tabletop roleplaying games are my side gigs. Which I fully intend to have become my main focus. I’ve been at this for almost four decades now in one way or another. Yes, they’re fun hobbies but they’re going to become more. Yes I enjoy spending time on all three. Yes, there is “joy” in enjoy. Thank God.

Right there is the answer. Joy. Lots of it. TONS of it! If you want to fight back against the matrix (or whatever you want to call it,) you have to fill your heart with joy and love! Sounds a little silly to those who haven’t been in the spiritual community for long, but I find it to be very true.

Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows.

See, when you focus your attention on what you love doing, your energy goes there. Your vibration goes up, sometimes exponentially. Most importantly your joy comes forth. Joy! Happiness! Joy is one of the greatest energetic expressions in the entire Universe. If you want a systemic combo breaker, that’s it.

If anyone tells you otherwise? Tell them to go jump in the lake (or some other catchy phrase.) Once a person stops conforming to all these rules and norms created by a society, corporation or government who cares not for anyone’s well-being short of their own, it really eats the governing body. It tears at them. They get a little taste of what it’s like to watch their grasp slowly slipping away.

That said, don’t go flipping your boss the bird and laughing your way out of the office just yet, family. Again, the number one priority is greatest and highest good. So, take care of self and family. Still plenty of joy there, undoubtedly, but sometimes you have to keep the thing you despise around just long enough to really dig into the thing you love and find joy. Soon enough joy becomes greater.

Next time around, a discussion of Presence. A challenging habit to master, despite a simple name.

Solo of Fortune

I say I’m just playing the 3D game and it’s going to be overcome.

Was the name of my guild on World of Warcraft. I took a fair amount of grief for that one. It’s no coincidence that it’s tied to Cyberpunk 2020. And again, this isn’t my gamer blog, oddly enough.

A “Solo” is a mercenary, soldier or street samurai who primarily operates on his own or with a small group of people in the Cyberpunk Game. There was actually a supplement for the game called “Solo of Fortune.” I resonate with this as a light warrior, which is just a slightly more aggressive way of saying I’m a lightworker.

Solo of Fortune
Screenshot from Fandom

Please, bear with me. I’m not a violent person. By no means am I advocating violence in the real world with any of this. My goal is to demonstrate my current attitude and outlook on life. Please, for goodness sake- be kind, be gentle, and be nice to one another out there in the real world.

CP2020 is a game. Cyberpunk, specifically “punk” is an attitude. Anyone remember the 80’s? Remember punk rock? Yeah. It’s about being rebellious. It’s about being anti-system and pro freedom. It’s about being very loudly non-conformist. It’s individual expression aimed at the collective. It’s becoming what 2020 is all about. I mean, for real. Look at the news. Look outside.

I hit a dilemma in life, as I said in my last entry. Try to fit in and feed my kids, or shuck the whole thing aside, quit my job, and rebel. It’s burning inside my brain even now. It’s a good thing I love my family more than I hate my job. But mark my words, I’ll be out of that place in a nanosecond if something solid in line with who I really am comes along.

I’m an old Solo. I’m an old warrior who is not done fighting. I don’t fit into a tight little corporate package. Working for the oil industry no less. (Barf!) But- it pays most of the bills. Some people say I’ve sold my soul. I say I’m just playing the 3D game and it’s going to be overcome. It’s all temporary.

Law of Attraction, Law of Vibration, Law of Balance. Universal laws have come into play. I’d say I need a lawyer, but that’s not very ‘punk. I’m a virtual badass armed with everything I’ll every need to navigate the 3D world, and as Ralph Smart would say, “we ain’t even had breakfast yet.” I’m just getting warmed up.

Here’s truly how to beat the system in 2020. Raise your vibration! Raise it so high not a single dark anything can touch you. Find your joy! Find your passion! Live the dream! Live in the vibration of that dream every day and work hard until it becomes the real deal.

More to come on this. A lot more. No quitting. No giving up. And before I start sounding like a pro wrestler, see ya soon.

Cup Overflowing

I fill my cup with love. My cup overfloweth.

Without getting into a lot of serious details, I had a pretty rough night at work. And I was really upset at the time. I’m down to aggravated, maybe even annoyed now. It’s getting better. (Lol, sorta…)

I sat down to meditate and my guides gave me a few of things to go on. First, it’s all temporary. Everything. Every last minute. There’s better things to spend the energy on.

Second, it’s all about polarity right now. This is just another one of those incidents that is set in motion for a reason, possibly as a test. Then the guides dropped a tough one on me.

“Let go,” they said. “Trust.”

Yeah… Do they know how hard that is?

Last, my guides gave me a mantra to go on throughout the other 30 minutes or so that I was with them in meditation. “I fill my cup with love. My cup overfloweth.” Sounded somewhat Biblical. Wouldn’t be the first time.

But I have said it about a million times in my head now. I’m even smiling when I think of it. I have to believe this has all happened before elsewhere and it will have a happy outcome.

I fill my cup with love. My cup overfloweth.

Self Care

My health has to come first.

Today I chose to make self care a priority in my life. I didn’t sleep very well. I’ll confess there’s a bit of stress in my life around my job, try though I might not to admit it. And that leads to, (drum roll please-) a pain flare. So, upon waking up for my alarm today, I called in sick instead of going to work.

Bitmoji of me low on health
Low on Health

What I didn’t know, until I called work, was that I was not the only one. Apparently two out of the six of us had already called in. Can’t really say I blame them. In fact, I think there is zero blame here. I don’t know why they called in, but I can honestly say my body chose rest and self care.

Kindness is one of The Six Habits mentioned in the book by Laura DiBenedetto. Kindness to others, sure. But kindness to yourself is key. And, well, this was definitely a good cause for that tonight. When I wake up feeling like I’ve been beaten soundly with a sack of hammers one at a time, it’s time to take a sick day. It’s me saying I have to take my health seriously.

This was the case before we started working these crazy 12 hour shifts four nights in a row. It’s only exacerbated by the need to use FMLA because I’m out of sick time that much faster. It’s unfortunate for the company.

The sad part, on a tangent, is I’ve offered to work from home. But for whatever reason that’s not good enough for them. I have a desk job. If all I had to do was crawl across my basement (almost literally,) and log into my compy from home? My attendance would skyrocket! I’d be nigh onto employee of the month in terms of attendance. But, alas…

Photo by Musa Ortau00e7 on Pexels.com
Not me, but you get the idea.

My health has to come first. Years ago, I would have been so hell-bent on taking care of my family, I would have tromped in there, pain be damned. Ironically, those were the days I really wrecked my health, especially my back, in my quest to become super dad/husband. No regrets, really. I’ve forgiven myself for all that happened and accepted everything happens for a reason. I chose to have that experience and I am grateful for it. (Yes, I said I’m grateful for the days I feel like I punched it out with Tyson, Ali, and Foreman in no particular order.)

And then for added strife, my supervisor more or less bit my face off when I called in. I empathize that he was having a rough day by his own admission, but still, he was pretty rude. I get kindness to others, acceptance, and mindful understanding. His comments and behaviour are on him. I’m never in charge of someone else’s feelings, only my own. And, I’m not letting it get to me per se, but there was definitely a time I would have. I’ve been processing it in my mind all night, but maybe not for the reason one might imagine.

I know I love me. As arrogant as it sounds, it’s true. I hope everyone says the same about themselves. I don’t expect everyone to understand that. And I feel somewhat bad that the guys had to work a shift with half the manpower. But again, not really and not for the reason one might imagine.

Here is my reason and affirmation: I AM Worthy of being treated well. Any person or company that would expect me to put my well-being aside so they can “optimize their profits” (or whatever other corporate gibberish they want to cook up,) really doesn’t deserve to have me. Again, not trying to be a jerk, just honest. It has taken me many, many years to learn this lesson.

Now, would I do this if I were working for myself? Absolutely! The major difference is, as my own boss, I’d totally let me work from home. Same with anyone working for me as long as they are able to work from home. And if not? Yes. Take care of yourself.

SO, in conclusion, I’m not intending to complain about my health or my job. I’m pretty well over both. I accept my strengths and limitations. But I am 100% ready to move forward with my life.

Intentions are being set. Vision boards created. And I am living the dream fulfilled in the now moment. 2020 is the year of change. This is going to be the year I started knocking things out of the park.

Namaste and publius.

My First Retraction (On Here.)

Wow! I can’t believe it. I have completely and severely underestimated some people. I’m quite shocked. I truly want to apologize.

In an earlier post, I made the very ignorant mistake of saying, “Nobody ever reads my blog anyway.” I know better. I should have known better at the time. And I stand completely humbled by the outpouring of love and respect I have received since.

Yes, there is a delete button on my computer and even an edit function on WordPress. But I’m leaving it for now. I want to remember where I was when I said it. I was cheezed off at pretty much everything in 3D life. Period. And I was triggered by a 3D event, one that I am still contending with.

So, that all said- I sincerely apologize to any/all I may have offended when I said, “Nobody ever reads my blog.” I was wrong. I should not have said that. Please forgive me. I love you all. Thank you all. I am truly grateful for your presence.

If you’re new here. Welcome. Be aware that occasionally my foot is magnetically attracted to my proverbial mouth. Once you get to know me, you’ll understand it’s just something I do from time-to-time.

That having been said, I am not a victim. We all have free will and choices to make. I chose a path I am not comfortable with in this now moment. I release it with love and light. I choose to be more considerate of my readers going forward.

Victim? What did I say? I mean I am not a victim to the circumstance which led to me blurting out something in anger. I chose my employer. I choose to stay employed (for now.) I chose to write about it before I had a chance to really calm down. Every moment is a choice, family.

Choose joy. Choose love. Choose goodness. Choose kindness. Choose acceptance. Because right now the world seriously needs all of them.

Sometimes we get caught up in the moment. We react in anger, fear, sadness or frustration. It just takes a moment of mindfulness and calm to bring it back around. Sometimes it’s better to excuse oneself from the conversation and take ten minutes to really reconnect with mindfulness before making a wholly regrettable decision.

Until the next now moment we are together, In Love and Light.

%d bloggers like this: