Crisis D’Fridge

So, our 25 year old fridge here at Casa De Craigmile is quite literally being held together with bubble gum, twine and the handyman’s secret weapon, duct tape. (Thank you Red Green.) To make things more entertaining, we have a very awkward small-ish space to put it, because the previous occupants of the house had few worries about it and built the kitchen cabinets around the fridge. We have a family of six, so we need every inch.

My loving wife did a ton of online research and narrowed it down to one place that might have actually had one on hand. So, my wife and I packed the kids into the van and went to (Large Appliance Retailer) with hopes a newer refrigerator to replace the old clunker.

Now, this might sound like a “poor me” story, but it really isn’t. And, truly I believe this is a test from the Universe. I think the happy ending is coming. We’ll see.

The first salesman we talked to at (Large Appliance Retailer) said the Samsung models were all back-ordered to Hell and gone. I’m thinking, okay I like LG. That’s cool. GE makes some nice stuff. But with all of our size requirements and taste in large appliances we found a Samsung that we really, really liked.

Us: Are you sure, absolutely sure you can get it?

Salesman Number TWO: Oh yeah, no problem.

Us: Are you sure? The other guy said they were massively back-ordered due to Covid.

Salesman Two: Yeah there’s one up in our warehouse up in Minneapolis.

Us: Okay, cool.

Me to Salesman Number One: (Right before corralling the kids out to the van.) Are you sure it’s not on back-order?

Salesman Number One: (Looking at Salesman Number Two for approval.) Oh, yeah. It’s fine. We’ll get it.

Me: (Shrug.) Okay.

My wife hashed out all the fine details for our shiny new metal $2,300 dollar Samsung Model XX Bad Ass Refrigerator complete with water dispenser, ice cube maker, and WiFi connection. (Because I guess I need to check my phone to see if the temperature of my Brussels sprouts are okay?) And it was supposed to be here and all nice and hooked up on Friday, Aug 7. This was last week. July 27th or thereabout.

The next day my wife got a text message that our order had been delayed. Panic ensued. Phone calls were made. We found out it was just a bag of parts for the water hookup. No big deal. Game on for the 7th, Right?

We cleaned all around the fridge. We’ve got everything we can think of cooked up, thrown out, cleaned up, etc in preparation for Friday morning. (Today being the 5th. My wife is super worried about this whole thing coming together.) And we get a new voice mail automated message. “Please re-schedule your installation. Your refrigerator was delayed.”

So, my loving and now angry wife was then on the phone for over an hour trying to get a live human being to explain what the actual hell was going on with the new fridge. Turns out they didn’t have one in the warehouse in Minneapolis as promised and nearest they can tell, it’s on a boat headed here from Korea, assuming there are no delays from Covid. The new estimated arrival time is (ha ha ha) September 17. Assuming everything goes well.

I say the old one still runs, duct tape and all. Let’s wait it out. Yes, it’s a little inconvenient with the shelf that broke which started this whole comedy of errors. Meh. We cut back on groceries a little. Maybe cook more out of the pantry and less out of the fridge. No big.

The old me would have wanted a head on a pike and a quart of blood from the sales staff at (Large Appliance Retailer.) The new, more patient, more understanding, more empathetic me is willing to wait this out. I really believe it’s a test of patience. LoA would indicate if there is resistance, Source has something bigger and better in mind, right?

<Gulp.> My wife is going to said appliance store tomorrow. I fully expect to hear, “East Side!” followed by a floor model fridge being crammed uncomfortably down someone’s throat or something equally angry. The people at Arby’s probably still have flashbacks from that ugly Cherry Turnover incident a few years ago.

We figure either A: they never had the thing in the warehouse in the first place and yay commission. Or B: This is a massive circus of errors between here and the warehouse or the warehouse and Korea. My whole point is not to pull out the blamethrowers and start yelling until we have more facts. Even then, what good is it going to do? We need a fridge. Yelling at some poor unsuspecting factory guy in Korea is not going to get it here any faster.

I’d like to think that since gaining a small amount of spiritual enlightenment and all of the self development work from The Six Habits by Laura DiBenedetto that maybe I have the patience, understanding, presence and mindfulness not to completely get triggered and go apesh*t on someone like I used to. Guess we’ll find out. Really all I want to do is make sure the kids have cold milk to drink. Which, so far we do.

More news as it develops on “Fridge Debacle 2020.”

Author: Jeff Craigmile

I'm a tabletop role-playing game writer and designer from Des Moines, Iowa. I'm the father of four boys and human to three cats.

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