A Man without a Country


We humans are social animals. I guess.

It’s funny. Every time I see one of those cute concentric circles on Twitter with everyone’s massive friends groups and it brings back that tired old feeling left over from grade school. You know. The kid that’s always the last one picked? That’s me. Story of my life. No lie, I remember a couple of times in middle school and high school when they completely skipped me, leaving me without a team.

I’m here to tell you. That sh*t hurt! It’s one thing to get picked last. I get that. I mean, someone has to be last, right? Sure. But not to get chosen at all? Ouch. That was somewhat trauma-inducing. Science is now showing that stuff stays with us all the way into adulthood.

I’ve always had trouble making friends.

Maybe it’s astrological. I’m a Cancer. We don’t necessarily socialize well.

Maybe it’s divine. Maybe it’s just in my soul contract that I’m not designed to be super popular or even have a ton of friends. Why did I sign up for that? Who the heck knows? I’ll let you know when I see my Akashic Record. There’s bigger mysteries out there, I suppose.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m in plenty of communities, at least on social media. Plenty of people know me on social media, or my persona, anyway. I just always have to wonder, if I closed my accounts today, would anyone notice? I’m still around, but it makes me wonder.

Ufology is kind of a split community. You’ve got the nuts-and-bolts crowd, the spiritual crowd, and the conspiracy crowd. There’s also the “abduction”/contactee/experiencer community, which is almost a group unto itself. There are some overlaps. We all want the government to cough up what they know. Everything else is pretty much up for grabs as to how and why. After the Añjali thing, I’m not sure if any of us will ever be right again.

The “New Age” spiritual community has its own special share of differing opinions. There are so many variations on how, what, and who to believe it’s hard to pin anything down beyond a mutual love of each other and Source. Again, there’s a lot of overlap, but then it gets wild.

Writers are a funny lot. Sure, we encourage each other. But at the same time, there’s always a subtle air of mistrust and competition. It’s like I hope you do well, but don’t steal my stuff! Overall, writers can be a pretty aloof bunch. Not really my jam, but I like NaNoWriMo.

Back to my own roots.

After a somewhat rocky couple of months in the Ufology community, I took an extended break. I went back and visited my friends in the worlds of tabletop roleplaying games. The Dungeons & Dragons crowd is relatively warm and welcoming. I guess 40+ years of being mocked, picked-on, and called names makes for solid bonding amongst fellows. I know D&D is currently riding the wave of popularity, but even after the wave subsides, we’ll still have a hobby.

Sure, conflicts arise in any group, but how they are handled within the community is what defines it. Gamers eventually forgive and forget most offenses. It’s just easier to move on and keep having fun than hold grudges over what is supposed to be a social exercise.

That having been said, do I have a group? Yeah. My family. I’m happy, grateful and proud my kids are picking up the hobby. I have plenty of folks I know on Twitter and Instagram in the hobby. But, again… besties? Well, not so much.

The lesson here is: Don’t put too much stock in what people on social media think.

I like social media, generally speaking. I spend some time on there. Sure, who doesn’t? I mean, there are probably plenty of people, but I think a lot of folks do have some contact with one of the big social media platforms.

It’s not the end-all and be-all of modern existence. A lot of spiritual folk will tell you to detox from social media by taking some time off or deleting it altogether. Ironically, they usually spread the word using one of those social media platforms. But do as they say, and not as they do, right? It’s good advice. I take week long breaks from time to time.

At the end of all this, I’m still a beautiful divine being having a (somewhat mediocre, shitty,) physical experience. I don’t 100% need or even want social acceptance or even contact of any kind some days. Sorta makes me wonder if I have a form of undiagnosed autism or something… I wonder if I’ll ever have any kind of meaningful impact on society or anyone, ever as far as that goes. If a light goes on in the forest and there are no squirrels around to see it, do any woodland creatures notice?

There is more to this acceptance story as it relates to work. We’ll examine that idea in another article this week. Wait until I get on a tear about being hired… Until then, take care.

See you in another article real soon!

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